Specifically, old-fashioned "the commies are stealing our essence" talk followed by this hilarious conversation:

Well that didn't take long. America must drop everything and deal with this pirate menace! Where are the Marines? Piracy is the new terrorism! Call out the big jets! We need serious "cannon fire":

Before he walked into a Binghamton immigration center and shot 13 people to death last Friday, Jiverly Wong sent a letter to a Syracuse TV station, explaining his motives. He is a courteous, crazy man.

In a development that we really would have preferred not to have happened at all, psycho loner nation North Korea has launched a big missile. A big, crazy missile. Oh shit.

You don't need him, ladies. [Wholphin]

You may not know Peter Arnell, but you know his work. The crazy Pepsi-is-the-center-of-the-universe logo design! The awful failure of the new Tropicana design! But what's the man himself like? Massively insecure, of course:

Lester Jon Ruston would really, really appreciate it if Katie Couric would stop bothering him already. That's certainly a sentiment we can appreciate! Her CBS newscast is a bit of a bother to sit through, no? Ruston's beef, however, doesn't have anything to do with her role of TV anchor. He says that Couric has spent the last few years making it her mission to harass him and ruin his life. Does that strike you as a little crazy? We should probably mention here that Ruston is a full-time resident of a medical facility that houses the criminally insane. But just because his imagination appears to be getting the best of him doesn't mean he lacks a work ethic. Ruston's original 2006 lawsuit against Couric back when she was at NBC was dismissed by a judge, but he's since updated the suit to reflect her gig at CBS. And this week he filed papers to depose Couric, so he can finally get to the bottom of the conspiracy against him. Ruston's legal filings and correspondence with the judge—which feature his signature catchphrase "Mess with Les... Go Down with the Rest!"—is below.

Is Minnesota Congressman Michele Bachmann the dumbest member of congress? Well, the median Stanford-Binet score in the House is probably like 70, so who's to say? But she is certainly our favorite House moron!

Two conceptual artists/nuts decided that they could stop people from dying by building bizarre apartments for them. But Bernie Madoff lost all their money! He's killed the dream of immortality through uneven flooring:

Bill O'Reilly's standard method of public discourse is to have people ambushed by cameramen and producers vetted for their shouting ability. Try to find one single difference between O'Reilly's guys and a psychopathic stalker:

Beck (pictured here, at home) has gone off the deep end, rehashing ancient John Bircher conspiracy theories, pointing his growing audience toward extremist literature, and gleefully (and tearfully) playing at unstable demagoguery. This doesn't sit well with Mr. Frum, who'd maybe like to see the Republican party win elections instead of forming paramilitary militias in fortified rural compounds. (YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE SURROUND THEM, I'M WORRIED FOR THIS COUNTRY—we think we know where that sort of argument is headed!)

Oh, wonderful. The conspiracy nuts who think Barack Obama FAKED HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE have a friend in Congress.

All Tricia Walsh-Smith coverage [Cityfile]

Little right-wing creep kid Charles Stam sent a two thousand word letter to the editor of the Horace Mann Record, his high-school paper.

Stop everything: John Fitzgerald Page—the Worst Person in the World—is doing stuff! Would you like to be in a movie with Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek? John Fitzgerald Page can make it happen:

"Demand for fake testicles for neutered pets, including dogs and cats, is also holding up during the recession. Southern California is the biggest market for Kansas City, Missouri-based Neuticles, said Gregg Miller, the company's founder. Its most expensive prosthetic testicles, for large dogs, cost $1,299. 'You would assume that with people losing their homes and jobs, the last thing on their mind is buying a pair of fake testicles for their pets,' Miller said. 'Folks in California love their pets and are trendsetters. They'd do anything for them, no matter what the economy is doing.'" [Bloomberg]

"The person called 'President Obama'," is destroying our borders and wants to kill all the babies, says heroic multiple election-loser Alan Keyes! Keyes knows Obama well, because he debated the secret Muslim back in 2004, when Keyes was the GOP's hilarious sacrificial lamb candidate running against the Chosen One.

Why do Scientologists hate psychiatry so much? Who cares, it just makes them look amusingly craz(ier). In this clip from a cheapo Scientology TV show, a real Scientology doctor proves that psychiatry caused 9/11!:

The Memphis Commercial-Appeal posted on its website a publicly available list of citizens who have concealed weapons permits. Did this cause gun nuts to go crazy, terrifying the newspaper's editors? You bet!

Conservative columnist and former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan noticed some things. The Upper East Side was empty, like in a Will Smith movie, but because of the recession, and not because of vampire zombies.