A couple months ago, NYC-based soup chain Hale and Hearty accidentally sent a coupon calling out "a cunt named Mary" to email subscribers. Now they've been plagued by another problem: locusts! (Or, anyway, some horrifying bug/alien creature that is almost certainly not a locust.)

Behold the sight of this poor Irene victim, whose bloated, furry body was spotted by this blogger on the sands of Long Beach, New York. What do you think it is? Don't say it's a "Montauk monster," because that guy was irreplaceable.

So now the American Kennel Club's saying that dog theft's up by 32 percent this year. Apparently their special database recording animal thefts has recorded 224 reports since January 1. That's almost as many thefts recorded in all of 2010 (255, if you're keeping score).

Looking for something to loathe? How about the brown marmorated stink bug? Last year, this species invaded the Mid-Atlantic states and caused millions of dollars of damage to our fruit and veggie crops. This year they're poised to do even more damage.

Thought you were safe in the big city? Think again: Not only was an alligator found under a Datsun in New York, another one (pictured) is living in the Chicago river. Your so-called "modern art" museums won't save you now!

You know that urban legend about alligators living in New York City sewers? Well: A baby alligator crawled out of a storm drain and took refuge under a Datsun in Queens on Sunday. So, now all urban legends are true.

Did you read about a slideshow of ugly undersea creatures on The New York Times' website on Friday? If so, the Times is deeply sorry, and would like to offer the following clarification:

A group of marine scientists just got back from a science-type voyage with a bunch of totally bizarre, creepily beautiful new species. Wanna see 'em?