Fergie Oliver, co-host of hit 80s Canadian game show, Just Like Mom, seems to have a special place in his heart for the little girls onstage, distracting his young contestants with Humbert Humbert hubba-hubbas.

"To the glory of Kathleen (Kay) Mandell: Who at age 32 was stricken by Lou Gehrig's disease that caused her muscles to waste away, one by one, until her throat paralysed and she choked to death while fully conscious." No!

The King of Pop, in his infinite grace and wisdom, has returned to the mortal realm by making his face appear in an ultrasound of fetus inside a British lady's uterus.

They successfully did it on a rabbit, and should be able to work their way up to humans in two years. The wombs will come from dead people.

This video from Eric Spiegelman compresses 130 sequentially taken photographs of Barack Obama with visiting foreign dignitaries Wednesday during the U.N. meeting into 20 seconds. His smile is immobile and identical in each one. It is creepy.

Do you need a job? Are you a young woman with "both head and body shots"? Do you have great hands? We have a job for you! You're gonna love it!

Good work, liberal media, in helping make Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and a little kid the standard-bearers of the conservative movement. The little kid was on Today today!

What's screaming CNBC madman Jim Cramer been up to? Putting on a Burger King mask in order to infiltrate a slumber party full of 14 year-olds. There's no taking this one back, Jimmy. Everyone knows.

This is your "soul-melting funny foto of the week," a terrifying morph from dumb old George W. Chimpy McHilter to President Hopey Hussein.

Here's Saxby Chambliss, Georgia Senator, in a campaign ad for tomorrow's runoff election to decide whether he'll keep his seat, groping his granddaughter. Video attached, natch.

The olden days were full of free-flowing psychoactive drugs, grotesque torture machines for the advancement of human beauty, and creepy children intent on eating anything in their path, judging by the advertising way back when. From a longer list at Weirdomatic, we give you seven classic ads to make you glad you live in our modern age, when Ritalin has replace Nembutal as our drug of choice for small children:

It may well be within the realm of human achievement to make an ad for Hair Club For Men that does not cause an involuntary shudder of revulsion. But this is not that ad. This is an ad where a bald man goes to Hair Club to grow a curly mullet, and is then fawned over by his own comely "stepdaughter." "Is that your stepdad...oh my gosh, he's not too bad looking!" Christ, why, why? All the disturbing subtext you can fit in one minute:

Hey! Remember Dimitri, the guy who left the psychotic voicemails? Remember how much fun we had with that? Dimitri doesn't seem to be too upset that his incredibly creepy pickup strategy leaked onto the internet. He just relaunched his webstite! THE OFFICIAL WEB SITE OF DIMITRI THE LOVER, CANADA'S GREATEST LOVER AND SEDUCER is live! Just last night his site announced something major in the works. And here it is! He's working on a full-length documentary, apparently, as well as two reality shows. One is called "Doctor Dimitri, Malpractice Investigator," which actually sounds totally A+ would watch.

Meet Dimitri! He met you on the street the other day and just wanted to say hi, and have sex with you. Call him "as soon as you have the courage to." He doesn't like leaving second messages, but he likes you. "Here how it's going to work. It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I'll assume-I'll assume that you've already work. ... But if i do not receive a phone call back from you by 3 o'clock, Thursday afternoon, I am no longer interested. and you can erase my phone number. I do not play games like that." There's NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM. But maybe your mother has cancer? So. WHO IS DIMITIRI? He's probably this guy:

Remember when cover art was fun and freaky and had nothing to do with the Hamptons or Manolo Blahniks? Well, me neither, since I wasn't alive then. But apparently, there was such a time. More examples after the jump.

Janet Jackson: famous, but creepy. The sheltered, fame-enslaved singer is starting to act as disconcerting as her sheltered, fame-enslaved brother. She went on Jimmy Kimmel's show last night, bringing a robotic, vacant stare and a heart-shaped hand sign that she flashes to her followers in the crowd like some Skull & Bones ritual, sending them into emotional outbursts for no apparent reason. Bonus educational fact: She calls her fans "Janet fans." So there. Click to watch and wonder what created this woman.

A thousand paranoid crystal meth enthusiasts have just been vindicated! Maybe. It is possible that tiny robotic insects are hovering over New York's parks and demonstrations, watching your every move. They know when you are sleeping, they know when you hate the state. Says the Washington Post: "No agency admits to having deployed insect-size spy drones. But a number of U.S. government and private entities acknowledge they are trying. Some federally funded teams are even growing live insects with computer chips in them, with the goal of mounting spyware on their bodies and controlling their flight muscles remotely." God, I bet Google has a hand in this too!

Oh for chrissakes. While in Paris to visit the crash site where Princess Diana died, the jury for the inquest into her death boarded a bus in order to retrace her steps. Outside of the Ritz Hotel, the bus crashed into a small pillar, knocking over a police motorcycle and blowing a tire. The cause of the crash? Throngs of murderous paparazzi waiting for their arrival. Yeah, that's not eerie at all. [Sky]

Marissa Mayer gave a hint about why she, unlike other Google VPs, actually filled out her Orkut profile. In a panel at Fortune's Brainstorm conference, the Senior VP of Search Products and User Experience also got just a touch creepy.