People who shouldn't sing "Cherry Bomb" while writhing around on the floor: The Queen Mum, Martha Stewart, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Mario Batali, and Dakota Fanning. Dakota Fanning being the one I would like to see least. And yet...here we are.

Today at Gawker.TV, Tracy Morgan tells Jon Stewart about his hair and sex practices, Dakota Fanning talks about her teeth, a Real World cast-mate tosses his roommate off a balcony, and a tribute to Ina Garten.

The perks of child stardom (money, berserk fans, adulthood irrelevance) comes with the price of living out awkward stages in public. Dakota Fanning's growing pains were her ugly teeth, the only thing anyone ever wanted to talk about with her.

Wonder how she feels about that "allergic to vagina" thing. Brangelina kiss in public, LiLo wants to move to England, Dakota Fanning turns sweet 16, Mickey Rourke admires Megan Fox's luscious acting talent. Come bask in Wednesday gossip's reflected glory.

Brad's brother thinks something's rotten in the state of Brangelina, but other rumors conflict. Jersey Shore drives a hard bargain and risks getting shut out. Gary Coleman gets arrested. ScarJo on stage gets a rave review. Monday gossip starts now.

Clooney is working on an earthquake relief telethon and Brangelina just tossed $1M Haiti's way. Tila Tequila stumbles into a third alter-ego. Jacko's kids' monthly allowances could feed and support a family of four for a year. TGI Friday gossip.

Kristen Stewart's corruption of Dakota Fanning is complete, Joe Francis is filing for bankruptcy, and Kirstie Alley says Conan "acts like I bit his dick off." Thursday's gossip has castration anxiety.

[Lil' Dakota Fanning going to a rehearsal for her Joan Jett movie; image via Bauer-Griffin]

The actress needs to learn how to be people. So, she went to prom! Our favorite black person is growing up, and growing up means going to priggity-prom, y'all. In a wee pink dress.

Lindsay Lohan is scared of food, Brad Pitt is scared of his ex-bodyguard and New York models are frightened and jealous of Jesus Luz.

Sex and the City's Kristin Davis turns 44 today. Dakota Fanning is turning 15. Guitarist Brad Whitford of Aerosmith is 57. Choreographer Elizabeth Streb is 59. Dell founder and CEO Michael Dell turns 44. Actor/director Peter Fonda is 70. Comedian Aziz Ansari is 26. Actress Emily Blunt is turning 26. And Marc Price, the actor who played "Skippy" on Family Ties is 41 today.

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your guide to everything new, noteworthy and neither here nor there at the movies. This week: America's Into You, Oscar shorts go to war, and Push comes to shove.

Dakota Fanning has thus far built a whole career out of appearing unsettlingly wise for her age on screen. Now, she aims to befuddle in a whole new way.

When there are no more Oscars, and there is no more Sundance, there will always be the phenomena behind Twilight. And Dakota Fanning will walk among them.

Among perennial nominees Tyler Perry, Will Smith and Queen Latifah, a flaxen-haired young star has emerged to stake her claim to NAACP Image Awards legend.

We've once again gathered Defamer's blue-ribbon panel of movie-marketing insiders, this time to assess what's gone wrong on the unfortunate new poster for the sci-fi B-thriller Push.

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your one and only guide to everything new, noteworthy and potentially noxious at the movies. This week sees Oliver Stone officially establish the land-speed record for producing an Oscar contender, joined by skull-cracking Mark Wahlberg, sex-driving Seth Green and our diva-colored underdog. As always, someone's gotta lose; we'll call our shot there, too, along with cherry-picking through a new crop of DVD's. As always, our opinions are our own, but we have little doubt they would look great on you. Try them on after the jump.WHAT'S NEW: No one would argue that Mark Wahlberg's video-game adaptation Max Payne won't win the weekend, but with Beverly Hills Chihuahua still barking in theaters (it actually expands by 32 screens this week), the sour-cop actioner might see a tiny bite out of its margin of victory. Still, $20.8 million is a reliable bet, with Disney's purse dog settling settling with around $11.5 million. The X factor is W., the Bush biopic which some forecasters see sneaking into second place with as much as $12 million. But to project any more than $10 million, maybe $11 million max is to overestimate it as anything more than a curio, an election-year stunt that wields neither the bite nor the influence that even we thought it would when the fall movie season began. Josh Brolin drawls and squints in fitful, fascinating bursts, and certain imagined powwows leading up to the 2003 Iraq invasion make for riveting ensemble drama. On the whole, though, W. connotes the rush job it was — undisciplined, tonally dissonant (Stone's professed empathy for Bush repeatedly knocks its head on low-hanging satirical fruit) and way, way too long. The American people deserve better, and at least until Nov. 4, they'll vote with their dollars. There will be no stealing this election. Also opening: Seth Green's R-rated romp Sex Drive; Roy Disney's boat-race vanity project Morning Light; critic Godfrey Cheshire's acclaimed doc filmmaking bow Moving Midway; the indie tolerance drama Tru Loved; and for those of you in New York (and the rest of you on VOD), Madonna's directorial debut Filth and Wisdom. (L.A. will get its theatrical engagement Oct. 31.) THE BIG LOSER: The Barry Levinson-directed/Robert De Niro-starring Hollywood satire What Just Happened is one of the year's finest case-studies in meta: A troubled, pedigreed film about troubled, pedigreed filmmaking, following in the flatlining tradition of every industry saga that preceded it. It false-started out of Sundance last January but finally found a taker at Cannes, and to its credit, Magnolia Pictures has aggressively pushed the film everywhere from baseball playoffs to presidential debates. Still, one half of that audience hates Hollywood, and the other half is off to see W. As recipes for disaster go — even in limited release — this one is ready to serve.

As a 14-year-old transitioning to more grown-up roles, child star Dakota Fanning has an important choice to make: Does she want to be a Jodie Foster or a Lindsay Lohan? (Also, lesbian leanings in former child actresses: discuss) We've always pulled for the precocious Fanning, so you can imagine how we felt yesterday when we discovered that Rowan Woods, the director of Dakota's upcoming Winged Creatures, had called out the actress as a tantrum-throwing "diva" whose performance in the film turned out to be a "disaster" that necessitated some judicious editing. Today, Woods got in touch with us to present his side of the story:

♦ Is Lauren Bush supporting Barack Obama? Maybe. The niece of the president praised the Democratic nominee in a recent interview and she decided against using her family name for her new clothing line, Lauren Pierce, taking her grandmother's maiden name instead. [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are either engaged or splitting up, depending on what you read. [Daily Mail, MSN]
♦ Marc Jacobs is supposedly jealous that his ex, Jason Preston, is dating someone else, even though he has a new boyfriend of his own, too. [P6]
♦ He can't afford a plane, but Diddy did get to upgrade to a new Rolls-Royce last week. [P6]
♦ In a new memoir, Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady from The Brady Bunch) says she used to trade sex for coke. [NYDN]

The rollout of Dakota Fanning 2.0 had been going so well (aside from one rapey speedbump): first, the 14-year-old actress made a series of glamorous appearances to support her new movie, The Secret Life of Bees, then she had even Oprah eating out of the palm of her hand with a few simple giggles and a glimpse of her attempt at a normal, cheerleading life. Was Fanning poised to be that rare child star who made the transition to serious actress with a minimum of fuss? Not so much! says Rowan Woods, the director of Fanning's upcoming film Winged Creatures, who just gave an interview branding the young star as a "diva" whose scenes he had to cut: