Tabloid sex writer and bubbling vat of ill-concealed self-loathing Andrea Peyser refuses to bow to Hollywood's liberal sex standards. Maybe Jennifer Aniston is happy fucking a turkey baster—but for Andrea Peyser, only a live human male will do.

Your mood would likely brighten considerably if you were to peruse this collection of unfortunate profile photos from the Russian internet. The Family of Man is a wondrous thing. One more new friend, after the jump.

For what seems like one million years now, media outlets have gleefully reported that America is full of sex-hungry cougar women, chasing young men down and sucking them dry. Minor correction: turns out that's not true.

The good people at the Unilever corporation are using their scientific expertise to assist you, the 18-24 year-old male, with mating. Do you have a desire to mate? An Axe™ product may be useful in your mating quest.

"This guy is handing his card out on the 'L' train in Chicago to women for dating purposes," a tipster informed us today. The guy in question is Paul Narang: Businessman. Republican. And eligible male. Let's meet him, shall we?

Louise was a USC student with a major case of awkwardness and a crush on her best friend. The show tried to help her by skydiving and speed dating, but still managed to capture her most awkward moment on film.

Of all the truly awful people on reality shows, Joey's attitude toward women might make him the worst. This guy went on Dating in the Dark with his insane notion that girls must weigh under 100 pounds to be hot.

Lynda France claims after she caught him cheating, her husband married the other woman and took their kids all while still married to her. Never put anything you don't want others to see online; it'll all be in lawsuit later.

The big finale of The Bachelorette aired last night and what happened wasn't that much of a surprise. Parents were met, tears were shed, and an engagement happened at the end. What did it take to get there? Details inside.

All these "online dating sites" are quite valuable for research purposes, according to scientists who were found hastily closing their AshleyMadison.com tabs. The most valuable finding of all: shut up, already.

And for me! Because I love chick-flicks. The premise of the show is as follows: a (barely) geeky girl is taken under the wing of a style/life adviser, made over, and forced to tell her crush she likes him.

Do you like to fuck, but hate being forced to say one word to your prospective sex partner up until the very moment of copulation? You live in the right decade, buddy. Modern dating is retreating even deeper into sullenness.

Last night I learned something about reality dating shows. They can get real. On The Bachelorette, Frank realized he still loved his ex-girlfriend and flew to Tahiti to break Ali's heart. They both felt real feelings and cried real tears.

Last night on Chad Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch, Jasmine enlists the help of three housemates to zip her up in a one-size-too-small dress. Oh, the perils of being a girl! Video inside.

This young lady has all the tips your grandmother is either not willing to give you or is about to go out of her way to keep you from learning.

Humans possessing vaginas, rejoice: Attraction Explained author Adam Lyons has married, which means there is one fewer "pickup artist" out there using asinine lines like "OK, when was the last time you went out in public without your underwear?"

Is there anything worse than a first date? It's as if a condemned man was forced to eat his last meal with some random girl his friend knows from grad school. But first dates are getting worse! They're getting quirkier.

YourTango CEO Andrea Miller is married to an Indian man, and he's great. To help other white ladies meet "incredibly attractive brown people," "innately gracious, social creatures" who "love to dance," she wrote a guide for the Huffington Post.

Nicole lives in Manhattan. She met Stu at Soho House, a members-only meatpacking district club catering to overgrown frat boys, strivers, and i-bankers. Stu seemed "normal, funny, and nice." So she gave him her phone number. Hilarious horror ensued.

Last night, summer television staple Wipeout returned with a special blind-date edition. When Katie needed some help from her suitor to complete an obstacle, life imitated the art of James Cameron's watery classic, Titanic.