From a correspondent in the new New York Times building at Eighth Ave. and 40th Street: "This was scrawled on the door of one of our new, improved (and barely functioning) elevators. Even Timesians have their preferences, I guess..." And how. Sorry, David Brooks! It's MoDo for the elevator people.
New York Times columnist David Brooks is worried. Seems that people are cherry-picking sperm in order to give their kids genetic advantages over the progeny of traditional stick-peepee-into-hooha reproducers. What's the problem? The rise of the machines!
Judith Warner's 'Domestic Disturbances' TimesSelect blog-column grows increasingly, well, disturbing. Buckling under the stress of "two grade-parent cocktail parties, one all-school gala, a Spring Fling, three music recitals" and other trials, she offers this confession: "I have, there's no question, gone off my gourd." Luckily for her, colleague David Brooks is perfectly willing to be her ad-hoc therapist.
• This may very well be the worst charity ad ever. [London Evening Standard]
• Oprah Winfrey gives Hearst Tower a handjob, calls it "out of the box." Yeah, it's that kind of morning. [NYO]
• Not even Times Square is safe from Bill O'Reilly. [THR]
• If you work at Time Inc. you should probably start boxing up your personal belongings now, just in case. [WWD]
• David Brooks is a terrible human being who will select whatever "facts" conveniently support his glib, tendentious arguments without regard for consistency. Also, he's a bad Mets fan. [NYO]
David Brooks notes a growing trend in the American class system: Rich folks are working harder than ever, while your proletariat types are sitting on the couch, drinking iced tea and watching Elizabeth Hasselback's conniption fits. This sort of came as news to us, considering the first rich guy we thought of is the current incumbent in the White House, and he doesn't exactly seem to be burning the midnight oil. And, yeah, maybe a few more CEOs have been putting in extra hours over the last few years, but it seems that they've mainly been providing employment for federal prosecutors. It's wasn't until we read the column again that it hit us: Brooks bases his whole argument on an already discredited Times piece from last week. Why would Dave put forth such a weak, unsupported claim? You could suggest that he's lazy or disingenuous, but we prefer to think that he's just trying to figure out why billionaire Tom Friedman never takes a vacation.
• Early this morning, Melania Knauss crapped out Donald Trump's baby. A reader earlier told us the baby boy will be named Barron William Trump, though we've no confirmation on that. What we do know, however, is that if Barron weren't Donald Trump's son, the Donald would probably be dating him. [Gothamist]
• Any man who calls himself a "cougar" deserves to be shot. [NYP]
• There seems to be a blog for everything, so why not one dedicated to the ugly couches for sale on Craigslist? [Revolting Sofas]
• All those people waiting in line for Trader Joe's, and they're not even selling booze yet. Fools. [Consumerist]
• Whether you feel it or not, spring has sprung. Or so sayeth Shake Shack, which reopened today. [Eater]
• David Brooks, revisionist of his own history. [Radosh]
• It's a particularly choice day for Drudge: At the time of this writing, he's got Buddha Boy, freak weather, baby monkeys, and a deformed lamb up on his site. It's like he's revealing his soul. [Drudge]
The Washington Post's Howard Kurtz does a roundup of celebrity anti-SUV campaigns, associated class wars, and general SUV-related nonsense. David Brooks in the WSJ on his quest for "the most obnoxious SUV" he can find: "Inside I'll install video screens so that impressionable youngsters can play Grand Theft Auto on the way to weekly NRA meetings. And there will be room in the back for tobacco lobbyists nibbling on french fries and endangered prawns."
The new axle of evil [Washington Post]
