Despite a tenuous-at-best report that X-Files co-stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are "shacking up and in a relationship," Duchovny's rep last night issued a statement denying that fanfic has come to life.

Former X-Files co-stars Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny are definitely, totally, 100 percent shacking up and in a relationship.

Courtney Love takes David LaChapelle's car and chauffeur for a midnight joyride. David Duchovny and Tea Leoni split up again. Kim Kardashian hands out wedding confidentiality agreements. And Emma Watson talks about her first crush. Wednesday gossip asks, where's my car?

Since Brangelina definitely aren't breaking up, gossips dig deep for rumors from Angie's past. SamRo visits LiLo in jail. Bret Michaels' tour bus busted for drugs. Mel Gibson's latest rumored rant: "I want Jew blood on my hands." TGIFriday gossip.

Adedamola Olatunji lived in a small apartment on the South Side of Chicago. Where he pretended to be Ben Stiller, David Duchovny, Paul Haggis, Paul Schrader and Noah Baumbach and used their credit cards for iTunes and online dating.

By the time Double Jeopardy rolled around tonight on the Celebrity Invitational we figured that Chris Matthews would reinforce our belief that cable news hosts shouldn't bother trying to prove that they know anything. Chris Matthews, consider our words eaten.

David Duchovny getting into a Town Car on the Upper East Side ... James Gandolfini walking into Barneys on Madison Avenue with his son ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment building ... Glenn Close walking her dogs ... Ashlee Simpson showing up at a hair salon in the meatpacking district ... Sharon Osbourne leaving the Peninsula Hotel with her dog in her arms ... Hugh Jackman jogging in the Village ... Leighton Meester filming scenes for Gossip Girl in Brooklyn ... Tori Spelling and Dean Mcdermott leaving an office building in Midtown ... Vanessa Williams on the set of Ugly Betty ... Pete Wentz walking near Union Square ... Stephanie March filming scenes for Law & Order: SVU ... and Beyoncé hanging out with her sister Solange at The Eldridge.

David Duchovny walking his dog on the Upper East Side this morning ... Ashlee Simpson leaving her apartment on Saturday ... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie taking Maddox, Pax, Zahara and Shiloh to see Mary Poppins on Broadway ... Matthew Broderick walking in the West Village ... Catherine Zeta-Jones leaving her apartment on Central Park West with her dog ... Angela Lansbury sitting in a car outside the Walter Kerr Theatre ... Pete Wentz walking by himself ... and Conan O'Brien shopping with wife, Liza, on Madison Avenue.

• It's been a busy 24 hours for Tiger Woods. Just after admitting he'd "let his family down" yesterday, a voicemail he apparently left for alleged mistress Jaimee Grubbs surfaced and put a nail in his adulterous coffin. Now Rachel Uchitel, one of the other women he supposedly was involved with, is coming clean about her affair and will be giving a press conference later today. [TMZ, NYP]
• Meanwhile, Tiger and wife Elin are supposedly in "intense" marriage counseling. They're also in intense discussions with their lawyers, apparently. Rumor has it they're renegotiating their pre-nup and Elin may collect a "hefty seven-figure amount" if she agrees to stay with him. [CST, Us]
• Tinsley Mortimer's family sounds more white trash than high society. Her mom, Dale Mercer, got into a shoving match recently with the woman who's been dating her ex-husband. George Mercer—Tinsley's dad—says the 29-year-old woman, Krissy Morrow, is merely his "escort" and he's never even kissed her. But Krissy says she married Mercer last month. George says the marriage didn't count since he was "drunk as [expletive]" at the time and because he's married to someone else anyway. Let's hope all this nonsense—like the report Tinsley was seen making out with Constantine Maroulis on Tuesday night—is just another PR stunt for her reality show. [P6]

It is en vogue to say that Craig Ferguson is the best late night host on TV right now. And for good reason. He uses a reptilian puppet to interview his guests.

Anne Heche taking a walk with her nine-month-old son Atlas ... Kate Winslet picking her kids up from school ... Michael Douglas and Shia LaBeouf walking on the set of Wall Street 2 in Battery Park ... Rihanna arriving at JFK before catching a flight to Europe ... David Duchovny walking down Third Avenue this morning in sunglasses and sweatpants ... Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes walking on the set of The Romantics on Long Island ... Hugh Jackman picking up daughter Ava from school ... Anna Paquin walking on the gym on Long Island ... Emily Blunt filming scenes for The Adjustment Bureau ... Sienna Miller walking her dog downtown ... and Gerard Butler standing next to his bike downtown.

There is a simple formula to determine how successful the stars of hit television shows go on to become: how long it takes before the reunion special. Seinfeld held out for 11 years, how long did everyone else last?

Twins Charlotte and Samantha Ronson turn 32 today. David Duchovny is turning 49. Charlize Theron is 34. Author and radio personality Garrison Keillor is 67. Conservative political commentator Alan Keyes turns 59. Wayne Knight, the actor best known for playing Newman on Seinfeld, is turning 54. And Jimmy Wales, the co-founder of Wikipedia, is 43 today—at least according to his Wikipedia page. A handful of weekend birthdays—including that of Michael Kors, Chris Cuomo and Dustin Hoffman—follow below.

• Rihanna is expected to speak about her alleged beating by Chris Brown for the first time this afternoon when she takes the witness stand at a preliminary hearing in Los Angeles. [NYDN, NYP]
• Both Katie Lee Joel and her rumored paramour, designer Yigal Azrouel, continue to deny reports that an affair ended Lee's marriage to Billy Joel. But Azrouel seems to have a rep for being something of a ladies man: He's "been known to sleep with fashion editors who can help his career." [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker was pulled over in the Hamptons. The trooper told her that her lights were off; she turned them on; and all ended well. Yay. [P6]

A child of Jon and Kate Gosselin is injured after an unsuccessful sacrificial offering to Nielsen gods by TLC. Madonna's child caper! Susan Boyle: distraught. Harry Potter and Radiohead? Yeezey's girlfriend! Presenting your Sunday morning gossip roundup. Happy Father's Day!

• George Clooney went out to celebrate his 48th birthday last week, had too much to drink, and ended up hurling in the VIP area. Clooney denies it was him, though, and says he was just "sitting next to someone who did throw up." [NYDN]
• Cops were called to Lindsay Lohan's house yesterday after a security alarm sounded and officers initially thought the house had been ransacked. It turns out Lindsay always keeps her house that way, which means in addition to everything else, she probably could use a good housekeeper, too. [TMZ]
• Marie Douglas-David has been embroiled in a nasty divorce with her elderly husband George David. Now she has a new man. She's dating a Swedish financier named Johan Saxon, and he's only seven years older than her. [P6]
• Lydia Hearst is going topless—again—in a new movie with Jason Behr. [P6]

• Is Lindsay Lohan heading back to rehab? That's what her mother, relatives, and friends are supposedly encouraging her to do, since she's been on a "self-destructive binge of partying, tears and breakdowns" ever since Sam Ronson broke up with her. To make matters worse, she keeps bumping into Sam everywhere she goes. Clearly, the girls need to decide once and for all which one's getting Chateau Marmont so this sort of thing stops happening. [OK!, L&S, P6]
• The Sun reports Madonna and Jesus Luz have reunited. As the story goes, Jesus came back to NYC to "perk up" Madge after all that trouble in Malawi and now they're like, going to Kabbalah classes and, like, eating dinner together and stuff. [Sun]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are supposedly dating again, even though they claim they're "just friends" in public. [NYDN, P6]
• "Real Housewife" Jill Zarin recently underwent breast reduction surgery. If you're lucky, you'll see the whole procedure go down on a future episode. [P6]

A very futuristic-looking Matthew Broderick climbing on his scooter outside his West Village townhouse ... Larry King walking on the Upper West Side ... Minnie Driver carrying a cup of coffee in the Village ... Angelina Jolie filming scenes for her new movie on Staten Island ... Jennifer Aniston covering up her face on the way out of her hotel ... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon leaving their apartment en route to the airport ... Miley Cyrus walking on Madison Avenue with her sister ... Early Show weatherman Dave Price arriving at JFK ... Juliette Lewis walking by herself ... Joel Osteen and his wife Victoria leaving their hotel ... David Duchovny taking his daughter to the dentist ... and Naomi Watts sitting on a bench on the set of her new movie in Brooklyn.

• Say it isn't so! Although she's introducing her own spray-tan line, Sevin Nyne, Lindsay Lohan has been spotted using the services of a mobile spray-tan company called Fake Bake "on the sly." [NYDN]
• Related: LiLo would like to reiterate that she and Sam Ronson have not broken up. For now. [E!]
• The indignity! Jay-Z had to wait 20 minutes for a table at Babbo. [P6]
• Chelsea Clinton's rep says the former first daughter is not getting married after all. Too bad! [Us]
• Paris Hilton's little brother Barron says he's "giving up the party life" to pursue a career as an "international singer-songwriter." A family just chock full of talent, clearly. [P6]

• The Jeremy Piven sushi drama just won't quit. Piven's dispute with producers over his decision to leave the cast of Speed-the-Plow will now be heard by an arbitrator in June. But Piven doesn't seem too worried: He says he's "looking forward to testifying," since President Obama recently described mercury poisoning as "the world's gravest chemical problem." [Reuters, Us, TMZ]
• Sean Penn and Natalie Portman were supposedly spotted "making out" at the Sunset Tower Hotel earlier this month. At least that's what the Star says. [Star]
• Are David Duchovny and Tea Leoni getting back together? They were spotted "canoodling" on the beach in Mustique. [NYDN]
• Scarlett Johansson is on a "rigid diet" at the moment. She's also the "new muse" of Moet & Chandon, just so you know. [P6, WWD]