David Letterman loves his Tesla Roadster so much that he invited Tesla CEO Elon Musk onto the Late Show last night. The question he should have asked: How long will Musk keep his job?

David Letterman attending a Rangers game at Madison Square Garden and seated not far from where Jimmy Fallon was cheering on the team with his wife, Nancy Juvonen ... John Leguizamo and wife Justine walking their poodle ... Hilary Duff running errands near Union Square ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts carrying coffee downtown ... Brad Pitt visiting Angelina Jolie on the set of Salt ... Rachel McAdams walking in the West Village ... America Ferrera, Michael Urie, and Becki Newton on the set of Ugly Betty ... John Goodman wandering around by himself ... and Arpad Busson leaving Uma Thurman's townhouse in the Village with her son Levon.

Lauren Conrad's most recent and, let's face it, quite possibly last appearance on the Late Show was an odd cocktail of passive-aggressive barbs and ribald, lusty commentary from host David Letterman.

Sometimes it's much more firm to watch the Late Show host squirm and make half-hearted self-deprecating jokes than to watch him go on a hilarious tear against someone. (If you're impatient, skip about two minutes in.)

Rihanna and Chris Brown are each swearing off tattoo parlors; Neal Boulton is swearing off booze and Jessica Simpson is swearing off everything John Mayer ever told her.

• All those layoffs at Forbes yesterday? They continue today, sadly. [NYP]
• Times executive editor Bill Keller has a few words for Marc Bowden, who wrote the Vanity Fair piece about Arthur Sulzberger Jr. Also? He thinks VF should really beef up its factchecking department. [Romenesko]
• The biggest media company in America? That would be Disney. [BN]
• Nine of the top 10 cable news programs belong to Fox News. [HP]
• The winners of the 2008 Peabody Awards were announced today. [AP]
• Wanda Sykes is getting her own talk show. [B&C]
• Video from Bill O'Reilly's chat with David Letterman last night. [MM]
• Guiding Light is done. The final episode airs Sept. 18. [THR]

Bill O'Reilly went on David Letterman as part of his quest to get more attention than Rush Limbaugh and his Fox News Channel sibling rival Glenn Beck. Fat chance:

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] March 31 @ 6:25am Just ran into a very sleepy and scruffy Letterman exiting a chauffeured Lexus and greeted by a guy who called him boss.

David Letterman made an honest woman of his sweetheart, and this is how the gods reward him: Blake Lively, still nursing a childhood Letterman crush, tempted the Late Show host with a threesome.

• Things aren't looking up for Damon Dash. He's lost a fortune recently and is buried under a mountain of debt. Now it looks like he's losing his wife, too: Rachel Roy just slapped the hip hop mogul with divorce papers. [NYDN]
• David Letterman and his longtime girlfriend Regina Lasko got married last week. [NYP, Us]
• Courtenay Semel, daughter of media mogul Terry Semel and occasional girlfriend of Casey Johnson, has checked into rehab. [P6]
• The real reason behind Jen Aniston and John Mayer's split? Jen was supposedly sick of his "obsession" with Twitter. Naturally. [Sun, Telegraph]

In a blow to eternally adolescent men everywhere, David Letterman broke down and got hitched.

MSNBC host Rachel Maddow has been on a tour of late-night shows, where the Rhodes Scholar explains the massive flaws in our political and economic systems. Another common duty: Answering questions about Keith Olbermann.

Jon Stewart has at least four horsemen in his apocalypse: CNBC, the two other financial networks and Octo-Mom. And the Daily Show host isn't done talking about any of them.

Felicity Huffman was on Letterman last night when the subject of her husband, William H. Macy, replacing the sushi-poisoned Jeremy Piven in the play Speed-the-Plow play came up. Felicity wasn't exactly kind to the Piv.

David Letterman thought it was pret-ty funny to laugh at Alicia Ebaugh's story in the Cedar Rapids Gazette about a man caught sexing a blow-up doll. Why does David Letterman laugh at the unemployed?

• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer made their first awards show appearance together at last night's Oscars, sitting just 12 seats away from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, although they managed to avoid a run-in by skipping the red carpet and showing up at different pre-show parties over the weekend. [People, NYDN]
• Uma Thurman, Darren Aronofsky, Rachel Weisz, Natalie Portman, and Daniel Craig all skipped out of the show early to head over to the Vanity Fair bash, where Graydon Carter invited Chesley Sullenberger and his wife Lori as surprise guests. [LAT, P6]
• Penelope Cruz and Tom Cruise had an awkward encounter at CAA head Bryan Lourd's house party on Friday night, while Oprah and Gayle King held court at Barry Diller and Diane von Furstenberg's pre-Oscars bash, and everyone "partied like it was 1999" at Harvey Weinstein's gathering. [P6, P6, Fox 411]
• At the Spirit Awards on Saturday, Mickey Rourke "playfully mauled" Rachel Weisz and "made a grab" at Jessica Alba's chest. [People, NYDN]
• A full list of Oscar winners, in case you missed the action last night. [People]

Robert De Niro will be Jimmy Fallon's first guest—an unusually intimidating choice to ease first-night jitters, no matter how well their "Are you a pothead Fallon? Could you milk me?"-patter goes in rehearsal.

Donald Trump can be amazing at spin, when he's not being a pig or sexist dinosaur. The latest example: when the real estate loudmouth masterfully tricked a Late Show audience into applauding his latest business bankruptcy.

Everyone's been debating whether Joaquin Phoenix's crack-up, as evidenced on Letterman the other night, is real or a hoax. It sure looked real to the director of his last movie.

For all the hoaxy drama behind Joaquin Phoenix's hip-hop ambitions, you can't say the guy isn't serious about effectively throwing his film career away after watching his spectacular self-immolation last night on The Late Show.