“It’s hard to keep all that political mumbo-jumbo terminology straight sometimes!” thought Ben Carson as he wrapped up another stellar interview this week.

The House has invoked martial law for the second time this month, allowing them to vote on a stopgap spending bill this morning and keeping our barely functioning government from grinding to a halt for at least another few months. Progress!

Senator Ted Cruz may not like Obamacare in a box, with a fox, in a house, or with a mouse, but it looks like he’ll have to try it anyway. Because the Tea Party, still clinging to their Confederate flags and Muslim president horseshit, lost their battle with President Stompy Feet and the Democrats Wednesday night.

President Obama just gave a speech and made clear that once the debt limit bill clears the House, he will sign it and "we will begin reopening our government immediately." He also emphasized the need to "get out of the habit of governing by crisis.”

House Republicans suggested interest in a short-term debt limit increase today in a move that would temporarily prevent the United States from defaulting. Hooray! Of course this means nothing for the government shutdown, and now you can look forward to more pathetic debt-limit brinkmanship taking place right around the holidays. God kill us, everyone.

House Republicans are considering a brief increase on America's debt limit—"a few weeks or two months," according to the Associated Press—in order to avoid a national default. In other words, even if this idea moves forward, we'll be dealing with this shit all over again in a few weeks or two months.

Sen. Mitch McConnell, the evil procedural genius who somehow always manages to be the most powerful person in Washington from his lowly perch as Senate minority leader, doesn't take offense when people call him and his party "hostage-takers." He rather fancies the title! But he does want to clear up the details of how and why he loves taking legislative hostages.

The Senate has passed the debt ceiling deal, 74-26, sending it to President Obama's desk. Crisis averted! Now, thanks to the deal's structure, we can look forward to a prolonged 18-month budget battle and massive lobbying campaign.

Joe Biden supposedly told House Democrats today that Republicans acted like "terrorists" during the debt ceiling debate. To be fair, he was only agreeing with another congressman. But if he did say it, he deserves a standing ovation.

Some TV camera people caught Speaker John Boehner fleeing to his escape elevator in Capitol Hill last night, after everyone finally reached a debt ceiling deal that no one understands but should pass Congress today anyway. Think he wasn't tired? This guy, Boehner, not tired? Get out of here. Just listen to this noise he makes. A pure sigh of relief, or the desperate wail of an aging farter? You decide, America. For now it is merely John Boehner's "sound."

Who and what should liberal Democrats be happy about with this debt ceiling deal that may or may not pass, say, today?

When Rep. John Boehner assumed the speakership, he said he didn't want to be an arm-twister for votes, and that he wanted the people's voice to be heard clearly. A nice sentiment! But now he that needs votes for his debt ceiling plan today, that's all over. How will he screw over dissidents? Let's look at the case of fellow Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan.

Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) is cautiously optimistic that enough GOP members had fallen in line over the last 48 hours to pass his debt bill. The plan would cut nearly $917 billion in spending over the next ten years, raise the debt-ceiling by $900 billion and avoid sending the nation into default.

Remember, to put it politely, the "extra-legal" wiretapping and torture and secret prisons that Dick Cheney and his buddies put into place over the course of eight years? Well the guy who came up with all that stuff for Cheney, legal adviser and chief of staff David Addington, has apparently not left Washington! In fact, he's behind much of the Tea Party resistance to any and all debt ceiling compromises these days.

Yeah, it's gotten this bad: President Obama will address the nation at 9:00 ET tonight about the debt ceiling negotiations, bringing this fresh hell to your teevee screen! What can you do? The guy loves giving speeches.

The Senate has rejected House Republicans' favorite deficit-reduction plan, "Cut, Cap and Balance," on a 51-46 vote. Now, at least, the worst of the many bad pieces of legislation currently under consideration is gone.

Word has been trickling in from a variety of sources all day about the basic outline of a deficit-reduction deal that President Obama and Speaker John Boehner are nearing. While both sides are denying it in their preferred arenas — the White House through its spokesperson at a press conference, John Boehner with a telephone call to Rush Limbaugh — it still seems like we've got our hands on the latest trial balloon! Summary: It sucks for Democrats.

A couple of months ago, the Senate's bipartisan "Gang of Six" that was formed to broker a passable deficit-reduction deal broke apart, after some members realized that six senators cannot simply craft their own deal in private and expect everyone in Congress to pass it. But as of today, the Gang has reformed, with President Obama's blessing! And they have a plan, which still may or may not pass the House of Representatives.

What will be the final budget-cuttin' number Congress agrees on before raising the debt ceiling, assuming they don't go with "the apocalypse option" instead? Two trillion? Four trillion? Nine trillion bajillion dollars? Let's go with "zero trillion but something that lets Republicans pretend to look tough anyway" as the probable end to this farce of a government negotiating process.

The world is tuning in with disbelief at House Republicans, who are still preparing to blow up everyone's precious global economy. House Republicans, meanwhile, are passing around a dumb blog post from RedState's Erick Erickson outlining supposedly good reasons for causing a Depression! Good heavens.