Obama not here for french-fry free-rides. [Boston Phoenix via Wonkette]

Tuesday's inaugural festivities were as close to a must-see civic event as our nation as seen in almost 30 years. At least until American Idol came along later Tuesday night.

While it's easy to get swept away in a Sundance snowdrift and forget the outside world, we're told some sort of changing-of the-guard is occurring at the capital—a reclamation, of sorts, of our nation's sexiness.

Did McCain forbid Cindy from joining Dancing w/the Stars? [Pg6]

Choke on the history, America: After 62 days of counts and recounts, a Saturday Night Live alumnus has officially been elected to represent an actual state in the US Senate.

Join us in looking back at the trends, names, faces, places and unhinged absurdity that made our Defamer Decides 2008 coverage an unparalleled historical record of American presidential politics at its finest.

· Still have an appetite for memorable Defamer video moments after getting through the Hall of Shame? Intern Leigh Lumford compiled A Top 10 Defamer Video Moments for your 2008 nostalgic enjoyment.

Congratulations to U.S. Senate candidate Al Franken, who has overcome his narrow Election Day deficit to claim victory in Minnesota over Republican incumbent Norm Coleman. According to Al Franken.

A momentous power summit accompanied last weekend's Kennedy Center Honors, where Barbra Streisand had her first-ever audience with President George Bush. Video from the event features Streisand — a vicious Bush critic who spent much of the recent election cycle as the Obama campaign's Deputy Director of Fundraising Medleys — welcoming the outgoing president to not only within bitchslap's-length, but actually close enough to share a skin-searing bipartisan kiss.

After all our trouble wrangling up moving boxes and change-of-address forms, Stephen Baldwin has officially reversed his decision to relocate to Canada. Reports this morning say that the bitter Republican convert was just joking about that pre-election pledge to head north in the instance of a Barack Obama victory, adding that the whole mess amounted to less a broken promise than yet another grave misunderstanding by humorless liberals. Whoops! Now we're told he even likes Obama:"The liberal Democrats who didn't get that I was joking need to lighten up," the born-again Christian told Page Six. "Obama is obviously talented and intelligent, and I have great respect for the man. He's got my full support, and I'm gonna be praying for him and his administration." Oh. Our bad, we guess, but let there be no mistaking his regard for the gays, whom he still loathes enough to submit to a Billy Ray Cyrus ass-tattoo if/when same-sex marriage is legalized nationwide. Not much of a concession considering his recent history, but we'll launch a Facebook club on its behalf just in case. Anything to help the cause!

And I'm Barack Obama: The post-election afterglow scored a direct hit last night on 60 Minutes, where the President-elect and wife Michelle's rangy hour-long interview with Steve Kroft drew 24 million viewers. The 6.4 rating is the newsmagazine's highest in nine years, and what did we learn? There will be Republicans in his Cabinet, no new dog would survive the grueling transition process to the White House, and college football needs a playoff system. Also, if you stuck around to the end, Andy Rooney bemoaning frivolous TV news. And here we thought Obama had dispatched all those mavericks. [The Live Feed]

At last! We meet one of Decision 2008's most memorable and accidental heroes: Oprah Winfrey's anonymous "Mr. Man," her randomly selected human-leaning-pole and blubber-sponge throughout Obama's historic Grant Park victory speech. Who was this stoic, liverlipped everyman? An intensive search for the mystery face in the crowd—the likes of which hasn't been undertaken since the days of American Idol's Sanjaya-lusting Crying Girl—unearthed unassuming family man Sam Perry, who appeared on her show today to a rapturously appreciative audience. [Oprah]

Amazingly, Norm Coleman's wafer-thin lead over Al Franken in Minnesota's Senate race continues to erode, with the latest numbers suggesting the former SNL star now trails his Republican foe by exactly one-half vote. (The single ballot bears a crescent moon inside a GOP circle, accompanied by the perplexing message, "It's Norm Tonight!"). In other celebrity-career-change news, Val Kilmer—yes, the Val Kilmer, soon to be seen as a Dorff-hunting mercenary out to avenge the assassination of a President Palin-alike in an NBC movie of the week—has informed Pomeranian-herding gossipsaur Cindy Adams that he plans on running for the governorship of New Mexico:

Why So Audacious? Perhaps we spoke too soon about the tenuous connection between The Dark Knight and The President-Elect, as we've just stumbled upon this Obama-evoking Joker design from artist James Lillis. It's no DJ AM, but it'll do. Click through for full-size. [/film]

An estimated 10,000 marchers descended on Westwood last hour to protest the passage of Proposition 8, leading to a bust of outrage large enough to encircle the Mormon Temple on Santa Monica Blvd. before overtaking the thoroughfare itself. Streaming live footage from KNBC features a mostly peaceful protest to date, with only minor incursions resulting in a driveway shout-down and a bit of get-the-homos-off-my-lawn resistance from cops nudging marchers off a sliver of LDS property. The crowd spilled onto Santa Monica around 3:15, shutting down westbound traffic en route to Westwood Blvd.A citizen operative sends word: "Shit is packed. ... There were a handful of Mormons out front early on, but they went inside. Peaceful so far. But PACKED." We'd love to hear from any others on or near the scene; you know where to find us.

It's never too early in Oscar season to feast on half-baked pundit delicacies like those of Dave Karger, the Entertainment Weekly awards maven who earns a living composing items like today's "How Obama Helps Batman." But even despite its modest size and airy texture, this morsel is next to impossible to get down [spoilers follow]:

This may replace holograms as Election Night's most stunning TV accomplishment: While the rest of us were recognizing the historic evening with a drink or 20, the South Park foremen cranked their assembly line into perversely high gear with animated snippets from both Barack Obama and John McCain's campaign-ending speeches. And as we should have figured, their statesmanship was simply a means to a lucrative, criminal end at a drunken nation's expense. Leave it to Trey Parker and Matt Stone to squelch our hard-earned hope that a new era is upon us — or at least that the geography-deficient divazilla Sarah Palin may yet take that long, much-deserved hiatus from our television screens. At least she's wearing leather this time around; that is change we can believe in. It's after the jump.Click to view

We know, we know: as you've read through our raft of election-related stories, your anxiety mounted as the pressing question, "But what does Larry Flynt think about all this?" remained unanswered. Now, though, you can relax, as an email has landed in our inbox entitled, "HUSTLER Publisher Larry Flynt’s Statement On Obama Election." The pornographer's missive was surprisingly well-written and earnest, but only Defamer has the original, revision-heavy first draft:

Last night's election coverage had it all: Holograms! Crying Oprah! A Michelle Obama dress we weren't too crazy about, but we think we like it better today? Anyway, the point is that there was something for almost everybody, and to judge from the new, complete ratings (with all cable networks added in), almost everybody tuned in:

This just in! An e-mail, subject heading, "Seal Extends His Congratuations to President Barack Obama + New Official Widget!" has exciting news for everyone: