With news that Rep. Rahm Emanuel—fourth-ranking Democrat and brother to Endeavor head and sporadic HuffPo grump Ari Emanuel—is mulling President-elect Barack Obama's offer to be his chief of staff, we thought we'd help you cram with this list of some essential and less-essential Rahm knowledge: 1. Their father is an Israel-born pediatrician, their mother a former X-ray technician, a onetime rock club owner, and a civil rights activist. She would take her sons along on the demonstrations if they were peaceful. 2. They grew up poor, leaving one apartment because it was rat-infested, and another because neighbors complained that the three Emanuel boys were too rambunctious. 3. He lost half of his right middle finger after a meat-slicer accident while working at Arby's as a teenager. It happened on prom night, and led to a bone and blood infection that nearly took his life. His fever went as high as 106.4. Rahm is the inspiration for Bradley Whitford's character Josh Lyman on The West Wing. 5. He was encouraged to take ballet lessons as a boy, and he excelled at it so much, he eventually won a scholarship to the Joffrey Ballet. He turned it down to attend Sarah Lawrence College. 6. He worked on Paul Simon's 1984 Senate bid. 7. He volunteered in Israel during the Gulf War, and was assigned to rust-proof breaks at an army base. 8. The same year, he convinced Bill Clinton to put off campaigning in New Hampshire to raise funds instead. It was a strategy credited with winning Clinton the election. 9. He acted as a senior advisor in the Clinton regime from 1993 to 1998, but was demoted one year after Clinton took office. After the '96 election, he planned on quitting, but Clinton gave him George Stephanopoulos's post as senior advisor for policy and strategy. 10. During his 1992 run for Congress, Edward Moskal, president of the Polish American Congress, called him a "millionaire carpetbagger who knows nothing [about] our heritage." He also falsely claimed that Rahm was a dual Israeli citizen and fought in their army. 11. He was named DCCC chairman in 2005, and butted heads with DNC chair Howard Dean over Dean's "50-state" strategy—in one heated exchange, Rahm even lobbed an F-bomb and stormed out of the room. 12. Torn over who to support in a Presidential bid between longtime friend Hillary and home-state senator Barack, Rahm said, "I'm hiding under the desk. I'm very far under the desk, and I'm bringing my paper and my phone." 13. He practices Orthodox Judaism with his wife, Amy Rule, and their three children, Zacharias, Ilana, and Leah. 14. He's a triathlete. 15. His name means "high" in Hebrew. 16. He doesn't recommend that colleagues appear on The Colbert Report, though he himself has appeared numerous times on The Daily Show. 17. His date of birth is November 29th, 1959. 18. He has photos of sunsets in his office and David Gray on his iPod. 19. He's quick with a zinger. Example: On the Clinton Days: "Back then, stimulus and package had a whole different meaning." "I've spent more alone time with Bill than Hillary." On Fred Thompson: "He had an interesting take on No Child Left Behind. He married one." 20. His nickname is Rahmbo. Even his mother uses it.

On this bright post-election morning, let there be no diminishing Defamer's mission to bring you tomorrow's most influential political figures and movements today. A scan of our illustrious archives reveals nearly two-and-a-half years' worth of Barack Obama coverage, dating all the way back to that time in 2006 when we couldn't understand why the Illinois senator was hanging out at CAA. (Hint: He wasn't!) Take an early lunch and join us after the jump in remembering a few key moments from the President-elect's pop-culture trajectory.· June 1, 2006: Barack Obama makes his first Defamer appearance after an operative sent in a sighting from CAA. What was he doing there? Nothing, as one definitive tipster pointed out: "I find these theories equally hilarious, troubling, and ridiculous, seeing as how it WAS A CAA AGENT: newly minted agent Billy Hawkins- a tall, handsome, Barack-ish looking man who spent a good deal of time chatting in the atrium yesterday." Oops! Billy Hawkins gets that all the time.

· ABC came in first, NBC second, and CBS a distant third in their election coverage, which amazingly was slightly down from 2004. (Cable network coverage is blamed.) Regardless of where you watched it, however, it all ended the same way: "Barack Obama swept to victory as the nation's first black president Tuesday night in an electoral college landslide that overcame acial barriers as old as America itself." There Variety goes again—always playing the ace card. [Zap2It, Variety] · Paramount is close to signing an agreement with Technicolor to build a new sound postproduction facility on the Melrose lot. It's a move that comes several years after similar upgrades from rival studios, making them "something of a laggard in the postproduction community." They were the postproduction community laggard laughingstock! [THR] · Russian President Dmitry Medvedev called for an "end to media censorship" in his first public address, though the end of the word "censorship" was abruptly cut off when Putin snipped the cord on his microphone. [Variety]· Gore Verbinski is said to be looking to produce and possibly direct a movie based on this WSJ article about a guy obsessed with a Second Life-style virtual community. It sounds kind of interesting, unless it makes a wrong turn somewhere and starts giving off whiffs of S1m0ne. [EW] · The opening day of the American Film Market in Santa Monica brings a glut of movies in various states of completion looking for investors and distributors. Organizer Jonathan Wolf uses a lengthy pendulum metaphor to explain the economics of it all that put us in a light trance. [THR]

Earlier this year, noted GOP firebrand Stephen Baldwin vowed to flee the United States if Barack Obama was nominated as the Democrats' presidential candidate. He apparently got as far as Minnesota before settling down again for the end of the election cycle, but now that Obama has triumphed for the highest office in the land, we would like to personally reaffirm our interest in driving the moving van. How about it, Steve? Or were those crossed fingers not your own quirky variation on Hope, but just another way to get away with a garden-variety campaign lie? Tell us while you pack, why don't you?

If there's been anything more contentious and exhausting than the battle to become the nation's next president, it has been The View's high-octane coverage of the election. Emotions still ran high on today's show, as an overcome Sherri Shepherd cried on camera about the impact of Barack Obama's victory. Before that, though, Barbara Walters turned to Elisabeth Hasselbeck and rightly noted, "All eyes are gonna be on you."

Key Democratic disco-strategist and AARP leotard-model Madonna had much to celebrate as she brought her Sticky & Sweet tour to San Diego last night. The male species was offered a temporary Shit List reprieve as the singer led the crowd in rhythmic clapping, declaring it "a historical evening. This. Is. A motherfucking important evening! This is the beginning of a whole new world. ARE YOU FUCKING READY?!!!" She then shooed security away and encouraged the crowds to rush the stage and embrace each other in "one evening of togetherness." (Got that? Togetherness, America. Togetherness.) Shit. Now we want to see her at Dodger Stadium. [YouTube]

Oprah may have been vibrating out in Chicago, but Tina Fey nearly burst with relief at Sarah Palin's expulsion back to Alaska on Tuesday. "I have to retire just because I have to do my day job,” she told Entertainment Weekly this morning, suggesting Kristin Wiig as her flute-rockin', pageant-walkin' heiress apparent should Palin persist as figure worthy of late-night ridicule. We agree, if only to provide a cannier doppelganger for all those confused, frustrated European photo agencies. [EW]

Not a typo: The AP reports from Minnesota that out of 2.9 million votes cast, Al Franken fell 571 short of upsetting his GOP nemesis Norm Coleman in their U.S. Senate death match. Coleman claimed victory early this morning while the defiant politico comic pledged to fight on with a recount, taking one last tour around the state to rummage beneath couch cushions and car seats for the mislaid ballots that will send him laughing all the way to Washington. And with the caravan of lawyers behind him, that might take a while.Coleman's narrow margin of victory — 1,210,942 to 1,210,371 (a third-party candidate pulled most of the remaining votes evenly from Coleman and Franken) — would automatically prompt a recount, the results of which won't likely be known until next month. Especially with Franken and his attorneys hovering nearby and the SNL alum on the lookout for anywhere else he can close the gap — starting with conspiracies, natch:

So that happened last night! And by "that," we refer not to the historic presidential victory, nor to the nationwide propositions that we are still gritting our teeth about, but to CNN newsman Anderson Cooper interviewing Black-Eyed Peas frontman Willi.i.am via hologram. Let us unite as a nation to dissect this clip's best/worst moments, blow-by-blow, after the jump!· "We're joined now, uh, via hologram, uh, with, by, uh, Will.i.am," Cooper begins, clearly thinking, "I'm missing the Bravo Real Housewives marathon for this?" · Will.i.am is beamed in with a Star Trek transporter beam special effect. Cooper stares uncertainly into the middle distance because he cannot see the person he's interviewing, which is a tremendous new innovation. · "All this technology, I'm being beamed to you like it's Star Wars and stuff," says Will.i.am. Not to pull a Liz Lemon, but, uh, Trek. · Cooper corrects him: "It's basically exactly like Star Trek." Thank you, Anderson. Willi.i.am's cogent response: "Yeah, but...yeah." · "Will, we're doing this interview with you this way because it's a lot quieter than having you in that crowd [in Chicago]. It's very hard to hear in this crowd," Cooper lies. · As Willi.i.am rambles on about the "Yes We Can" song, Cooper mentally composes an angry email to the CNN producer who let his boo Donna Brazile go off to ABC so they could spend her hair and makeup budget making a hologram out of the man who produced "My Humps." · "Will.i.am, I appreciate you being with us tonight via hologram," concludes Cooper. Will.i.am thanks him, says, "Check it out," and then does The Worm. · Cooper takes an awkward pause, collects himself, and says, "All right."

Natalie Portman did it! Her eleventh-hour phone-banking put Barack Obama's campaign over the top, eking out a nail-biting victory of 349 electoral votes to McCain's 173, and ushering in a tidal wave of jubilation we were thrilled to let sweep us away.House parties spilled out into the noisy streets and local bars—if our own destination was any indication, all of America was marking this seismic moment by getting down to Jermaine Stewart's one hit, blissfully wasted on a heady mixture of well vodka and hope. There was of course that one gigantic bummer hanging over the proceedings, and the party would occasionally pause to hiss at a TV monitor showing a Yorba Linda Ramada ballroom of inbreds cheering wildly over their successful attempts at snuffing out the happiness of thousands people they don't know, and hope never to meet. "Prop 8 = Religious Freedom," read their signs. Well, then, free at last, free at last, thank God almighty they are free at last, and marriage's sacred definition as something that can only be shared between a Michael Jackson and a Lisa Marie Presley has been secured, for the time being at least. Hurray! But let's not let the bastards get us down, shall we? Let's focus on what we do have: A new President! One who possesses a kind heart, a probing intellectual curiosity, a masterful command of the English language, and a general air of giving a shit! In other words, everything we haven't had for the past eight years. A new era has begun. Let's see what famous people think about it: · If the night belonged to anyone whose last name isn't Obama, it was Oprah Winfrey, weeping during Obama's victory speech like a proud Mother Earth: "I'm vibrating. [I want] to be fully present. I'm just trying to take it all in. I can't even talk about it. This has been the greatest experience of my lifetime. I haven't seen a sense of unity like this since 9/11. Now, we're all brought together in the name of hope." [Us] · George Clooney: "I congratulate President-elect Obama on his historic victory and now it's time to begin unifying the country so we can take on the extraordinary challenges that this generation faces." · P Diddy: "I felt like my vote was the vote that put him into office. It was down to one vote, and that was going to be my vote. And that may not be true, but that's how much power it felt like I had." [AP] · Star Jones is filled with pride! [ET Online] · Harvey Weinstein: "It's a great day for America." [NY Daily News] · Jessica Alba: "I was surprised that McCain brought race into his speech. I guess he was trying to bring people together." NY Daily News]

· Here's a photo taken just minutes ago of Padmé Amidala, aka Natalie Portman, phone-banking on behalf of Obama. It's not too late! You can still join her on her phone-banking crusade to defeat the evil Empire in these last crucial hours! · So we've been entertaining ourselves around Defamer HQ today by sending fake CNN headlines back and forth, some of which we've collected for you here. They're a lot funnier after you haven't eaten for eight hours and just blogged about human wrecking balls. · We can't guarantee this sticker will get you free Krispy Kremes. In fact, we're pretty sure it wont. [via BoingBoing] · A reader sent in this photo of MTV's John Norris, subject heading: "that wig has to go." That's all we know. · OK—we can't stand this anymore. We need to start watching the returns. Hopefully we'll all be bright, shiny, and happy tomorrow morning. Gawker has quite the liveblog discussion group going on—head over there and contribute your two cents. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night!

Ghetto Fabulous Out The Vote! 11/4 — Eve & Lil' Kim, walking their dogs and voting together in Hollywood, possibly after a hike. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Hollywood PrivacyWatch UPDATE: Monica Lewinsky Spotted! Our tipster who earlier spied Intern Hall of Famer Monica Lewinsky waiting to vote outside the LA Tennis Club was just corroborated by another operative who preserved the moment in pictures. The tipster writes of delays pushing two hours, but let's face it: Waiting all morning to cast her ballot is the least Lewinsky could do for the American political process. Literally. Click through for a blurry cellphone glimpse of today's local milestone in democracy.

Hey, all! Just a friendly message from Defamer HQ, reminding you to get out there and vote—if not for a brighter future for your children and coddled pets, then at least so you can send in a steady stream of primo celebrity sightings from your local polling stations. Let your voice and stealthy eavesdropping skills be heard! [Defamer Decides]

An internet report from a self-proclaimed "McCain strategist" claiming Joe the Plumber got busy with Kristin Wiig following the SNL afterparty—and also discussed becoming the next Bachelor with Ben Affleck's agent, Patrick "Something"—is now looking more and more to be a hoax, hoisted upon a gullible and Wiig-hungry gossip nation. The report came from a man calling himself Martin Eisenstadt—the proprietor of his very own, very-hard-to-come-by website bearing that name—and was picked up by the likes of Slate before internet skeptics and lovers of Sue the Surprise-Loving Lady alike started poking holes in the story:

A Gawker tipster brought word this morning that liberal firebrand/trail mix smuggler Tim Robbins caused a scene at a Manhattan polling place today, accusing the poll worker of voter intimidation until a volunteer called the police. Now, Robbins has done what's expected of every responsible citizen whose democratic rights are in peril: he's blabbed all to a TMZ paparazzo!According to Robbins, the polling place he's used for the last decade didn't have his name on the register, and he certainly wasn't about to fill out a provisional ballot like a common plebe! Sadly, Robbins handled the issue not with pleasant, Bob Roberts-style folk songs but with a high-octane argument that brought the NYPD (though they couldn't prevent him from decamping for City Hall to find a judge who could prove his case). Was the actor simply listed on voter rolls under "Tom Ribbons," or is this a Susan Sarandon-aimed revenge from jilted New York senator Hillary Clinton? Developing!

Today is one freighted with fateful questions for America, perhaps none more so than, "Where's Kirsten Dunst?" But after being tipped last month to her early-voting rendezvous in Norwalk, which she fled after doing her civic duty to both cast her ballot and urge the paparazzi to do the same, we turn to KiKi's pursuers at the Associated Press for the must-read follow-up from... North Dakota?Dunst is tagging along with filmmaker/real estate scion Jacob Soboroff as part of his Why Tuesday? campaign — videotapes of which are to be fashioned into their documentary about America's lag in voter participation. In other words, what she really wants to do is direct:

· Election Day is finally here, and celebrities are pulling out all the last-minute stops: "Patricia Heaton was on the trail in Indiana for McCain, [while] Hank Williams Jr. started the National Anthem at a rally for Sarah Palin in Colorado Springs, Colo., by saying, "You know, I’m usually at ‘Monday Night Football’ tonight, but Colorado, this is a lot more important tonight. Join me now in our national — you know, that, uh, Mr. Obama’s not real crazy about, we’re singing it right now." Should he win, Obama's first order of business is replacing "The Star Spangled Banner" with the Subway $5 Footlong jingle. Too bad there's nothing you can do about it, Colorado! [Variety] · Charlize Theron will star opposite Tom Cruise in The Tourist, playing a female Interpol agent who's always standing in a 12-inch-deep ditch for some reason. [Variety] · Iron Man helps nudge Marvel comfortably into the black in its third-quarter, but the company warns that 2009 should provide less robust dividends. And that's even factoring in the money they'll save on Terrence Howard's personal moustache groomer and fresh fruit requirements! [Variety] After the jump: Who is Jack Falcone, and why is Steven Soderbergh making him?· The busy, busy Steven Soderbergh, when not making Dogma fleshcore [NSFW] or Liberace biopics, and 3-D Cleopatra extravaganzas, is also planning Making Jack Falcone, an undercover mob story for Paramount. [THR] · Ron Livingston will star in Defying Gravity, an international co-production about "eight astronauts from five countries who take on a mysterious six-year mission through the solar system." If the distance between Earth and the nearest star system is 2.7 million light years, how long would it take Astronaut Livingston to get there and back, assuming he's traveling in a vacuum during a non-Leap Year year. Use the space below for scrap. [THR]

Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Election Day Interns Hall of Fame Edition! 11/4 — Monica Lewinsky waited in line for 2 hours to vote at the Los Angeles Tennis Club. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

We were a little surprised to find out a while ago that actor Dennis Hopper is a longtime Republican — sure, he appeared in the right-wing satire An American Carol, but so, too, did he make Meet the Deedles. Today, though, during a hushed, absorbing two-and-a-half minute monologue on The View, Hopper detailed the Jefferson-led conversion that led him to become a Reagan Republican, as well as a deeply personal story that eventually led to his unlikely presidential vote for Barack Obama. If this clip somehow ends up getting taped over the "Crash series" part of Hopper's reel, we can't say we'll be surprised.