An eagle-eyed political observer noticed a few uncanny similarities between First Lady hopeful Cindy McCain and those victimized blondes populating so much of Alfred Hitchcock's work. We can't say we disagree, though if the natural next step requires Mrs. McCain to race through the Arizona desert tonight with a few thousand stolen dollars from her husband's campaign, we'd urge her to skip the shower when she stops for a rest.

A reader sent Towleroad this snapshot of the sky above Warner Bros. in Burbank, probably the largest and most nausea-inducing "Yes on 8" sign yet erected in the ongoing, Mormon-underwritten campaign to strip gay Californians of their Constitutional right to marry. Luckily, God got one look at the message and blew it away:

We look forward to that time less than 48 hours from now, when we can finally frame the entirety of the 2008 election season in our smudged rearview mirror and watch it shrink as we head toward the country's other essential round of cutthroat campaigning. But for all the misbegotten PSA's, infomercial filibusters and other punishing effluvia, we admit we'll miss the bits of election-related freakery that arrive with oxygen just in time to save us. And of course, the more unexpected, the better — like Ben Affleck bellowing about his cat after the jump.Or rather, Ben Affleck as Keith Olbermann bellowing about his cat, one of a scorching fistful of issues chafing at the imperious MSNBC pundit last week on Saturday Night Live. His outrage over Miss Precious Perfect's rejection from their Upper West Side co-op represents only the most insistent of his convictions, however, and in turn, only one delicious course of the scenery menu Affleck spent nearly nine-minutes devouring. If we didn't know any better, we'd think all this big-shot director really wants to do is act. And really, we couldn't blame him. [SNL] Click to view

This election year has proved a boon for the chattering class of political pundits, but there are few on cable news who can break things down as well (or as loudly) as comedian Chris Rock. After making a memorable appearance on Letterman in September to rebut Bill Clinton ("Hillary lost!"), Rock showed up at a Barack Obama rally in Tampa over the weekend, and it wasn't to promote Madagascar 2. While joking that he took his children trick-or-treating Friday at John McCain's many houses, Rock critiqued the Republican candidate's own wife-swapping, $100 million bailout of yore. "You want somebody who can relate to what you have to say," Rock continued. "Like if I have problems getting laid, I wouldn't call Brad Pitt 'cause he wouldn't know what I was talking about!" Clip above.

Though both Barack Obama and John McCain were rumored to be planning appearances on last night's episode of Saturday Night Live, only McCain showed up in the end, and the two sketches he appeared in repped a decidedly mixed bag.McCain was game throughout the cold open, a QVC ad that spoofed his inability to match Obama's major network infomercial. Unfortunately for the candidate, his willingness to self-deprecate (with wife Cindy along for the ride as a ginsu knife spokesmodel) was deflated by a clearly over-it Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, whose every through-the-motions gesture read, "Is an 8.5 not enough for you people?" Later, McCain appeared solo for a Weekend Update skit where he was greeted with a chorus of boos before launching into an amiable self-ribbing. Was the bit funny enough to overcome that rocky first impression? We've got the Hulus — cast your vote. Click to view

· John McCain will appear on SNL tomorrow, playing what we hear is his uncannily dead-on impression of David Archuleta in a planned sketch with musical guest David Cook. Good on McCain for managing to stay up that late, assuming he does! [Variety] · Spider-Man 4 will be written by Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire, giving this franchise a key into the snooty, UES-society-lady demographic that has been eluding it until now. [THR] · Samantha Who? gets a back seven order from ABC. [Variety] After the jump: Finally—an answer to your "Tatum O'Neal and Brigitte Nielsen starring in the same B-movie" prayers! Find out who else joins them.· Tatum O'Neal, Tom Berenger and James Brolin join Brigitte Nielsen and Moon Unit Zappa in Last Will, an indie suspense drama we're predicting might have been better off casting unknowns. [THR] · Bradley Whitford will star with Weeds's Romany Malco in NBC pilot Off Duty, a buddy cop comedy. [THR]

· The Ron Clark Academy's T.I. parody "You Can Vote However You Like" (sample lyric: "Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama") is so frickin' adorable we could just bite their little equal-time-honoring heads off. · Breaking! King of the Hill's butane tank has finally run dry. · Jon Hamm will play Liz Lemon's boyfriend on a 30 Rock arc this season. Don't screw this one up, Lemon. · Obama sprinkled his magical ratings glitter on cable too, giving The Daily Show and The Colbert Report their largest audiences ever. · Apparently, there exist popular stereotypes that define residents of West Hollywood, Santa Monica, Sherman Oaks, Westwood and Holmby Hills, and Dylan McDermott, Zoe Saldana, Lake Bell, Nick Stahl, and Shannen Doherty are going to play them. We'll let you match neighborhood to actor. · And finally, we'd like to introduce you to Troublemaker, the kind of Sulawesi black-crested macaque you just wanna kick back and have a beer with.

Variety today dares to look beyond panic in the economy for a detailed sketch of one of the most critical policy decisions facing the next presidential administration: Where's the party? The word is synonymous with way more than just one's affiliation in 2008, says one Washington social guru, who can't wait for her calendar to blossom once more with boldface Hollywood names beating a path to an Obama White House:

Alec Baldwin appeared on Late Show last night to reprise his own, sub-Tina Fey impression of Sarah Palin while recounting to Dave the (completely justifiable!) circumstances of Palin's visit to SNL. Unlike her offer to Fey that night, Palin did not serve up Bristol as a potential babysitter to Baldwin's daughter, but that's not to say these two unlikely scenemates didn't find something in common to talk about.Still, even though the two bonded while discussing Baldwin's "right-winger" brother Stephen, Alec's vote is all sewn up. And, as he says, the candidate he's pulling for is not the "guy running with Bible Spice." Still, if Bible Spice would be down for a February sweeps cameo on 30 Rock, then bygones!

Amber waves of grain, arthritis ointment application, an emotionally distant Sarah Silverman the morning after—The Barack Obama Show really offered something for everyone. And by "everyone" we'd include network heads, as preliminary Nielsen numbers show the 30-minute hope-infusion juiced ratings across the board. Even ABC's struggling Pushing Daisies benefited from a small counter-programming bump, though still only managed to squeak out a meager 2.2. From THR:

Click to view · Can't wait 'til 8 to find out what happens in The Barack Obama Show? Well then you might be interested to learn the surprise twist that he [SPOILER ALERT!] is actually God and is fucking Sarah Silverman! · Self-professed stalker and balls-addict The Blazing Shark details her ongoing e-mail exchanges with a cute TV "child actor in a film almost all of us have seen" she desperately wanted to de-pant (and did, in a car). [via LAist] · Over a year later, Mel Brooks comes crawling back to Cloris on his hands and knees. Delicious vindication! · The Beatles have licensed their music to Rock Band, thereby rendering the video game our neighbors have driven us insane with over the past eight months bigger than Jesus by association. · Hey—Obamicorns!

Within minutes of this post's publication on the East Coast, the Barack Obama infomercial American Stories American Solutions — formerly known as Hole in the Wall: Election Edition — will premiere on NBC, CBS, and FOX. The procrastinators at the Obama campaign waited until this afternoon to unveil the official spot promoting the 30-minute ad, supplying what we think is the first-ever commercial for a commercial in electoral history. As with most mediocre trailers, we imagine that once you've seen this, you don't need to see the rest (hint: talking candidate, stirring music), but you be the judge after the jump: Is it Obama or Pushing Daisies in your 8 o' clock hour?Click to view

The internecine drama between Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar receives the lion's share of our attention at Defamer, but as we watched today's show we thought to ourselves, what of the silent war that Hasselbeck's stylists are clearly waging on her? We're generous enough to admit that the conservative co-host usually looks on-point (in a chilly, blond, Fox News kind of a way), but on today's show, her hair was fashioned into a prim "Texas polygamist bride" coiffure that was only outdone by the latest in what has become a Hasselbeck trademark: the pirate shirt.

With less than a week to go before the presidential election, all of America is waiting, pondering the same pressing question: will the fate of Sarah Palin be wrapped up in a final, valedictory Tina Fey performance or will Kristen Wiig have to start practicing her "You betchas!" for the next four years? Until that day comes (and until 30 Rock has its TV premiere), Fey is milking her impression for all its worth, and last night, she talked to Conan O'Brien about what happened behind the scenes of her run-in with the actual Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live.It turns out that Palin, who had correctly researched that the child of her tormentor was named "Alice," asked after Fey's daughter, who had been sent home earlier that night. This disappointed the vice-presidential candidate, who claimed that she had readied pregnant Bristol ready to "baby-sit" Alice. The tale sounded fishy to Fey, and it raises our suspicions as well. Sounds like you dodged a bullet, Tina — the fruit of your loins almost got fired, Palin-style.

Excuse us, did you just hear a loud thunk? Did it sound something like a gauntlet being thrown down? Because it just got all tense up in here, and we think that's thanks to the only thing that could derail Al Franken's unlikely-yet-succeeding candidacy for the U.S. Senate: a stern, bobble-headed rebuke ad from his old Saturday Night Live coworker, Victoria Jackson! You may remember Jackson — less so for her SNL tenure than for her recent proclamations that Barack Obama is an "Anti-Christ whitey-hater." Now, she and other well-respected Hollywood Republicans like Stephen Baldwin and John Ratzenberger (what, was D.B. Sweeney's quote too high?) have taken to the airwaves in an attempt to boost Franken's competitor, Sen. Norm Coleman. For what it's worth, we think Jackson's screech of "Go VIKEEEEEENGS!" is indubitably her best work since Handi-Off. Enjoy the clip, after the jump:

ABC will remain the lone holdout in the Obama campaign's plans to hijack all of network TV this Wednesday, perhaps solidifying our "Watch TiVo Kill" authors' easiest day yet. To wit — 8 p.m on ABC: Pushing Daisies. 8 p.m. everywhere else: It's the Great Pumpkin, Barack Obama, or whatever the presidential front-runner has up his tailored sleeve less than a week until Election Day. Guess along with us after the jump.Obama picked up a half-hour of prime-time air from CBS, NBC and Fox on Oct. 9 for $1 million apiece. The Live Feed reports that ABC offered its own 8 o'clock block around the same time, only to be rebuffed by the campaign for unknown reasons. Meanwhile, the participating networks have yet to learn what the candidate has in mind for his special — whether he might stick with Ross Perot's tried-and-true "Pie-Chart Filibuster" model from the 1992 campaign, or something a little more contemporary, like a modified version of Jeopardy! where every uplifting clue yields the queries "Who is Barack Obama?" and, we guess, for those three Daily Doubles on the board, "Who is Joe Biden?" We'd hate to see anyone left out.

This year's Celebelection™ cycle reached its otherworldly apex over the weekend when hard-hitting Extra pundit Mario Lopez grilled Barack Obama for his takes on the senator's ailing grandmother (hint: sad) and the tragedy afflicting Jennifer Hudson's family (hint: still sad). Clearly there's something missing from the clip passed along to us — perhaps Obama's official reaction to John McCain's post-debate grabassery, or more important yet, his take on the diplomatic crisis befalling The View — but with any luck, Lopez's searing third-degree will be restored in time for the show's broadcast tonight. An entertained America is an educated America. [Extra]

Hollywood has done its fair share of preaching to the political electorate this season, so Moviefone polled 1.1 million of its users to return the favor by electing their favorite screen presidents. They rose to the occasion by selecting Harrison Ford, Morgan Freeman, and several tremendous idiots. The list, after the jump:

There's a blissful, View-free weekend coming up (well, except for Floridians), but until then, we leave you with this clip of an undaunted Elisabeth Hasselbeck locking horns with Whoopi Goldberg on today's show. The conservative co-host challenged Goldberg about the folly of negotiating with terrorists (a position we're sure she came to after the unilateral talks between her and Joy Behar collapsed spectacularly backstage). Instead, Hasselbeck embraced a brand of conflict resolution no doubt passed on by benevolent dictator Barbara Walters: no negotiations (or hugs), just a simple cold shoulder, a passive-aggressive remark, and a threatening, late-night phone call from someone who sounds a whole lot like Henry Kissinger.

· TV networks are going bananas with their election night coverage, including competing Times Square broadcasts: ABC on the JumboTron, Fox News on the AstroVision monitor, and MSNBC on the OlbermannGiantForeheadSonic. [Variety] · Rejoice virginal fantasy nerds! Columbia is producing a movie of Deryni Rising, the first book in the Deryni Kingdom cycle— a series set "in a medieval kingdom...of people with psychic and magical abilities." [THR] · Exquisite weirdo Crispin Glover has joined the cast of Tim Burton's motion-capture Alice in Wonderland. He'll play the Knave of Hearts, on trial for tart-stealing treason. [THR] After the jump: Which of the two men to play Mike Brady is joining the cast of Entourage?· If Gary Cole could go ahead and join the cast of Entourage for three episodes, playing Ari's "oldest Hollywood friend," that'd be great. All right! [THR] · Now Paramount is negotiating with Chris Columbus to star in Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, which is still set to star Jim Carrey...Believe It or Not! [Variety]