Ah yes, we fondly recall the halycon days of the summer of 1999, when a fresh-faced batch of no-names captured the zeitgeist by bringing the carnal pleasures of beating off to webcam porn and fucking pastry items to the big screen. Yes, that's right, American Pie was a surprise hit that summer, grossing over $100 million back in the days when that threshold still meant something. It went on to launch the careers of a whole handful of marginally talented actors and even managed to spin off not one, not two but FIVE sequels. The intervening years, however, have not been kind to the cast. Some ended up in rehab (Tara Reid, Natasha Lyonne), some were exposed as having no talent (Jason Biggs, Chris Klein), and some found themselves twirling around dancefloors in silly costumes on utterly banal reality television programs (Shannon Elizabeth). Of the lot, only Alyson Hannigan and Seann William Scott are still in a position where people actually return their phone calls. At least that's what we thought until we saw Stifler out himself on last night's Late Night With Conan O'Brien by confessing that his Q Rating with the millenial set is somewhere south of Carrot Top's. Good luck, Alyson — now you're the last counselor left at Band Camp with any cred. [Late Night With Conan O'Brien]

[Photo Credit: X17]

When word broke yesterday that Oscar winner Tatum "My Career Peaked Before I Had Pubes" O'Neal was pinched by the NYPD for buying crack off a vagrant, we found her initial explanation that she was simply doing research for a role just a bit far-fetched. After all, color us jaded, but we found it out of the realm of believability that late night trips through alleyways in search of crack rock would help her prep for her role as a mother in the sure-to-be-classic made-for-TV movie Fab Five: The Texas Cheerleading Scandal. So we were less than surprised to find no mention of this blatant falsehood when we saw the cover story in this morning's NY Post. We were, however, surprised to find a scad of other statements in the piece that sounded even less believable than her original "it was research" claim. After the jump, please play along as we help to decide which of her lies is the most egregious.

[Photo Credit: INF Daily]

What started out as a blaze that claimed a misshapen animatronic ape and a city pseudo-block on the Universal backlot is growing almost by the hour into something a lot costlier than the studio originally let on. First there were the Universal Music Group masters lost to fiery eternity (but they were already "transferred digitally," so, you know, whatever), and as alluded to by an astute Defamer commenter earlier today, a whole archive of film prints were rumored to be lost as well.

Even though she spent nearly a year silently standing by George Clooney's side at movie premieres and on jaunts to the United Nations, it seems that Sarah Larson forgot the first rule about Being George Clooney's Girlfriend. Namely, you do not talk about Being George Clooney's Girlfriend. Just days after her extensive interview with Harper's Bazaar hit the stands — one in which she confessed that "I don't think [George] has any trouble getting anything he wants" — she suddenly and quickly found herself on the receiving end of that maxim. Unfortunately for her, she learned that what Clooney wanted was for her to give back his garage door opener and hitchhike her way back to Vegas. Now, details have begun to emerge from the Larson camp about their breakup, ones that predictably cast a sympathetic light on the comely sandworm emulator. Serving as part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against noted lefty Clooney, Fox News reports:

While exiting a weekend showing of Sex and The City at the Arclight, A Prairie Home Companion star Lindsay Lohan began to question the state of her (alleged) relationship with emotional friend/DJ Samantha Ronson. Naturally, Lohan compared herself to Carrie and wondered if this relationship is something that's going to last or she should spread her wings and explore other options. Lohan then looked over her shoulder to see that Ronson kept her distance, to make it appear as if they're just friends to the media and Lohan's family; then Lohan quickly pulled out her BlackBerry and furiously typed out a message. Two seconds later, Ronson pulled out her BlackBerry and smiled as she read a message, then proceed to wink at Lohan.

Ohh poor beleaguered celebrities. When caught drug-handed or with pants down, they often have to make very public excuses for their un-role modely behavior. The latest came from former child star Tatum O'Neal, who was arrested for trying to buy crack in New York on Sunday night. She says she was sober, but had been chasing the dragon around the streets of New Amsterdam because she was distraught over the death of her dog. She claims she didn't know she was buying crack, and yet was in possession of a crack pipe. Oh, Tatum. A little darling no more. Also, lie better. There are other wonderfully silly celebrity excuses (including another one involving a dog!) waiting for you after the jump. Tell us which one you think is the worst.

Ah, the mighty power list: However would we make sense of this chaotic, ever-shifting Hollywood deal-making world without your easy-to-digest, number-based ranking systems? Having already charted the quantifiable influence of showbiz's most powerful men, women, vagina-having men, and even babies, THR now turns to the previously untapped power-list category of interactive entertainment, ranking, with no lack of grandiosity, what they dub The Digital Power 50. Flinging down lightning bolts from atop Mt. Hollywood 2.0 sits master of the Hanna Montana-screensaver domain, Disney Interactive head Steve Wadsworth. Rounding out the top three are President of Fox Interactive Media Peter Levinsohn, and Chief Digital Officer (the most sci-fi corporate title ever) of NBC Universal, George Kliavkoff. Grand total of women in the Digital Power 50: 5. Number of Harvey Levins: 1. Babies: 0. We're certain you have passionate opinions on the list's omissions: Feel free to voice them in our highly interactive comments section.

One day and about 1 million interpretations after Vanity Fair dared to suggest Bill Clinton sometimes thinks with his dick, Gina Gershon has launched a crusade to scrub her name off the list of the ex-president's rumored paramours. Or, more specifically, Gershon's pit-bull counsel at Hollywood firm Lavely & Singer has launched a crusade on her behalf, and they all seem a bit peeved:

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

On last night's installment of The Bachelorette—ABC's envelope-pushing social experiment in which a houseful of horny male actors split their evenings between discovering each other's bodies and convincing a deeply deluded young woman that they are actually there to woo her—the remaining suitors were treated to a surprise field trip to The Ellen DeGeneres Show studio. There, they were grilled by the talk show host on what, exactly, they found so alluring about designated trophy-object DeAnna Pappas. (This proves especially challenging, as Pappas quite noticeably suffers from a congenital personality-deficiency that prevents her from doing or saying anything of interest beyond recalling the death of her mother.)

With the exception of Iron Man, the quality of the '08 summer movie vintage has been more than a little underwhelming. While we await salvation (we hope) in the form of July entries The Dark Knight and Tropic Thunder, a glance at the latest downbeat buzz on a few other key offerings has us thinking it might be a long June.

Reports circulated yesterday claiming that OK! magazine was prepared to pay Lindsay Lohan the tidy sum of $1 million in exchange for the lesbian-starlet-romp world exclusive, "How A Tomboy DJ Named Samantha Ronson Opened Me Up to the Pleasures of Girl-On-Girl Eroticism and the Catchy Rhythms of LeTigre"— an offer the noted actress and furnapper was reported to have turned down. Now, an anonymous "source close to the [Lohan] family" suggests to The Scoop that Lohan may be second-guessing her decision:

It took a few days, but Mel Brooks finally emerged from his Broadway bailiwick to stamp out that Page Six report that Brooksfilms is shutting its doors. "I'm not quitting," the filmmaker told The Hollywood Reporter's Leslie Simmons. "Brooksfilms is still here and will be going on for a while. I'm not at all slowing down, and nobody has told me to stop." OK, well, stop — please: Brooks also vaguely told Simmons about his forthcoming project Pizzaman, a "serious horror film" Brooksfilms is developing with longtime collaborators Rudy De Luca and Steve Haberman. Surely he must have alternatives; after all, isn't Silent Movie: The Musical an idea whose time has come? And must we really have mashed The Elephant Man up with Dracula: Dead and Loving It in vain? [THR]

[Photo Credit: X17]

CBS has seen the future (or at least the ratings) and its name is Kimbo Slice. Or maybe it's Regis Philbin. Or conceivably both, after a look at the weekend ratings that established both EliteXC Saturday Night Fights and Million Dollar Password as the network's summer programming to be reckoned with — nauseously, perhaps, and only after sizable narcotic consumption, but no doubt inevitably. Philbin strung together an audience from the 60 Minutes window preceding him Sunday evening, winning the night with nearly 11 million viewers. But bare-knuckle Mixed Martial Arts superstar Slice fared surprisingly well in an even more sepulchral Saturday-night slot, pulling an average of 4.3 million viewers nationally between 9 and 11 p.m.

Welcome to Day 5 of Jolie WombWatch: We join you live as the world's downtrodden and miracle-needy—still frustrated over the lack of any measurable improvement since the last Chosen One graced our midst—sit glued to their ham radios, anxiously awaiting any verifiable updates on the official birth-status of Jolie-Pitt Chosen Children Numbers Two through Three. (The latest theory is that ET was right all along, and that the couple is covering up the delivery in order to score an exclusive payday with another publication. Conspiracy! Building 7! Runner 6074! Hill: Ego Only!) Meanwhile, Baby Truth is wheezing its tiny lungs out behind a full-on media-assault smokescreen. Most notably, Jolie graces the cover of the current Vanity Fair, where she describes all the dilletanteish qualities in Pitt that inspired her to break up his marriage:

So it looks like we have a couple of "workers" to thank for the sooty, soaring plumes rising from last weekend's Universal Studios fire, which apparently began when said Universal employees got a little careless while "using a blowtorch to heat asphalt roofing shingles" in the wee hours of Sunday morning:

· The totally chill dog who threw this party is really regretting having invited Andy Dick. [TMZ]
· We take a moment to remember Bo Diddley. [NY Times]
· Also, the man who invented the Pringles can passed on. His family honored his wishes of having his delicious, salty remains placed inside one of his convenient snack-tubes for eternity. [Telegraph]
· In our wildest Stupid Celebrity Tattoo fantasies, nothing—and we really do mean nothing—ever prepared us for this. [ONTD]
· An utterly non-obligatory shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal photo. [WOW Report]
· Here's an insider's guide to spotting Photoshop trickery, using an American Idol promotional shot. Clue #1: Paula Abdul is successfully seated upright without the use of visible ropes or pullies. [sciam via BoingBoing]