Oliver Stone's semi-comic masterpiece W may yet make its mid-October release deadline, as reports speculate Richard Dreyfuss is close to signing on as vice president Dick Cheney. The role was the only one Stone had not cast for the film, which started shooting last week in Louisiana. The 60-year-old Brooklynite who once fought off Jaws, mashed-potatoed his way into an alien abduction in Close Encounters of the Third Kind and scored a Best Actor Oscar for The Goodbye Girl, will be entrusted with Cheney's despotic war hawk in the weeks ahead.

Oh, what's to be done with Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen. They may bicker incessantly and claim they can't stand the sight of one another, but deep down, you just know they're hoping the other contracts feline AIDS. With her E! reality series set to premiere on Memorial Day, Richards has been hitting the talk show circuit harder than Richie Sambora in a bathroom stall at the LAX wrap party. This included some face-time with fossilized CNN grand inquisitor Larry King, where she explained that the show comes directly out of need; not, surprisingly, the need to be on TV, but rather the need to feed and shelter her two children, abandoned by their father to follow his tween-outfitting, trampoline dreams. Now, a "Sheen insider" tells Page Six that Richards' claims are absurd, as the actress is regularly greeted by the beeping sound of a Hollywood Alimony Services dump truck backing into her driveway to release that month's child support payment:

One tiny, loaded word pretty much summed up Wednesday at Cannes: Che. Steven Soderbergh's two-part, four-hour-plus biopic premiered last night to a sprawling range of reactions, most of which seem to embrace the challenging film (and particularly Benicio Del Toro's performance as the title revolutionary) even while doubting the film would ever again screen again in its current version. Soderbergh and star Benicio Del Toro were only slightly defensive when it came time to face the press:

Just a week after Britney Spears’ rumored sex tape forced us to envision bald celebrity sex, Cameron Diaz is flouncing around the set of her new movie wearing a fitted baldie cap for the role. And screaming at us from the newsstands about how much she loves sex. And making out with her co-stars. All of it burning images into our heads we’d really rather erase for life. Because Diaz isn’t only making us picture her hairless visage rolling around the sheets with Jason Patric — we’re now forced to imagine what it looked like when the Coneheads stripped down and got it on. More pictures after the jump.

And we're off! At the stroke of midnight, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull began screening on 4260 U.S. screens, and 12,000 more around the planet.

Well, in the end it goes to Cook in a landslide. I am surprised! I thought the squealing masses of girls and soft dulcet tones of Archie's "Imagine" repeat on Tuesday night would win over middle ground voters who might have found Cook to be too edgy. But no, in a 12 million vote landslide, our combovered pal from Kansas City tearily took the crown and Simon and company rejoiced. I guess 19 and the judges were behind Cook all along. Perhaps the over the top Archie plaudits were just a calculated bait and switch. Or maybe there's nothing so cynical about American Idol after all. Good for Cook. Instant fame! Who else has won grand television prizes this year, on shows like America's Next Top Model and Project Runway? After the jump, take a tour through this year in winning things, starting, of course, with Mr. Cook.

In response to EW.com's list of the 25 Funniest People in America (congrats EW columnist Diablo Cody for coming in at #20, just three shy of David Letterman!), we now present Defamer's 25 Least Funny People in America: 25. Dave Morris. 24. Frank Smith. 23. Sheila Condon. 22. Graciela Steckler Crisalle. 21. Don Cooke. 20. Stan Nikal Jr.. 19. Karrie Burge. 18. Dane Cook. 17. Carlos Jimenez. 16. Linda Jaco. 15. Charlie Dupree. 14. Brian Robertson. 13. Margaret Cheney. 12. George Michael. 11. Carl A. Herrin. 10. Vita Houlihan. 9. Diane Menage. 8. Jay Leno. 8. Amy Maeir. 7. Steve Cooper. 6. Brenda Shee. 5. Loretta. 4. Camille Welnitz. 3. John P. Hayes. 2. Rob Schneider. 1. Doug.

Don't ever accuse Molly McAleer of failing to ask the hard questions. In tonight's installment of Defamer To Do's, we not only find out what Molly thinks about this highly charged and undeniably controversial Hot Topic, but we also learn what a pair of unworn American Apparel tights smell like (hint: a Los Angeles area club). And with that, please enjoy...

Hearing that Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder may be dating is like winning the Fantasy Celebrity Hookups jackpot. Both of these lovable n’er-do-wells have been down on their luck recently, with a series of DOA movies, rumored engagements that didn’t pan out, and for Winona, the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan stealing her stealing act. So whether or not the rumors are actually true, we’re throwing these two stars’ caution to the wind for them and giving them three good reasons why they most definitely should be, after the jump.

No one combats Indy 4 fatigue like our batty, beloved gossip aunt Cindy Adams, who today grilled one of the blockbuster's key consultants in an attempt to discover the sexy mystique of — wait for it — the bullwhip. Not just any bullwhip, of course, but Harrison Ford's $1,000 bullwhip — all 13 feet and two-and-a-half pounds of it, said whipmaster Anthony De Longis:

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

We were sorry to read this week about the certain fiery purgatory awaiting slumping star Mike Myers, pregnant newlywed Jessica Alba and the rest of those associated with the production of The Love Guru, Myers' new "comedy" that drew such scorn last month from spiritual leaders around the country. We now learn that after a bit more finger-wagging and number-crunching, a dreadful trailer is the least the principals — and its viewers — have to worry about:

Let there be no mistaking it—the National Enquirer owns the story of the disintegration of Jodie Foster's 14-year lesbian relationship to her beautiful Cydney. Now, their unprecedented access to the high-ranking Donettes of the Rubyfruit Mafia gives us another shocking exclusive: Foster has parked her U-Haul outside the home of Cindy Mort, the creator of HBO's stunt-cock popularizing, prosthesis-core drama Tell Me You Love Me. From their report:

Even as Indy 4 is poised to do mammoth B.O. this weekend, it seems that one member of the LaBeouf Snow Cone Family Circus is a bit down on his luck. Shia LaBeouf’s father, whom Shia has already outed as a former drug dealer who used to smoke him out at 10 years old, has allegedly been crashing in Indiana Jones Jr.’s garage all winter long and has yet to return to his warm weather teepee in Montana (yes, really). As Shia puts it, "We've got this little air mattress set up for him. It's very comfortable. But now it's not winter anymore and he's still there. But I can't go there and go, `Hey dad. Listen it's time to go back.' I can't make him leave." So isn’t it time we finally figure out who this longshot Father Of The Year candidate is already? You know, before he inhales too many fumes while sleeping next to his superstar son’s pricey cars?

Steven Tyler: 60, and in rehab. And not just any rehab, but Pasadena's Las Encinas Hospital of Celebrity Rehab fame where Dr. Drew practices. While his reps have yet to release a statement, using nothing but Aerosmith song titles, we'll now attempt to reconstruct exactly what happened: "Permanent Vacation" "Livin' On the Edge" "Monkey On My Back" "Push Comes To Shove" "My Fist Your Face" "You See Me Crying" "S.O.S. (Too Bad)" "Shame, Shame, Shame" "No More No More" "Sick As a Dog" "Jig Is Up" "Darkness" "I Wanna Know Why" "Crash""I'm Down" "Get a Grip" "Hole In My Soul" "Something's Gotta Give" "Attitude Adjustment" "Jesus Is on the Main Line"
[TMZ]

The uninspired recycling of played-out mediocrity received a sleek bit of Hollywood upscaling over the last 24 hours, with no less than Jake Gyllenhaal, Christian Bale and the money gang at Sony Pictures climbing on the remake/franchise gravy train with some of the most appalling anti-ideas we've heard around these parts since that Donnie Darko sequel went fungal just before Cannes. After the jump, find out which of these warmed-over properties — Prince Of Persia? Flash Gordon? Highlander? Terminators 4, 5 & 6? — drove us to break our "No Drinking Before 5pm On Weekdays" rule.

Just hours after professing her dedication to zipping her lips when it comes to airing any dirty laundry from her marriage to Charlie Sheen on The Today Show, Denise Richards showed up on The View to dish with the gals. And though she wasn’t continuing her passive aggressive attack on Sheen’s sperm and promising us all that she just adores it (“I mean, we have two beautiful daughters!”), she went ahead and brought up her former bestie Heather Locklear in the conversation. As we all fondly recall, Denise appeared to have stolen Richie Sambora away from Heather and committed double adultery during the top secret couple's many lobstery beach ventures. But it just isn’t true, says Denise, and Denise doesn’t do drugs, says Denise, and Denise is just not a whore so stop calling her that, says Denise.

Gripped by a paralzying case of Rain Manesque echolalia on her Late Show appearance last night ("OK, so you're going to follow Harrison Ford. He has a movie coming out? Indiana Jones? Then Dave will ask you all about your little E! reality show. Don't forget to have fun!") aspiring Lohan Ali seemed incapable of responding with much more than a nervous, "Yeah," to most of host David Letterman's questions. (We've added dings to help you count them: 21 in two minutes.)

[Photo Credit: Flynet]