Hollywood's big gay Olympics are approaching, and the annoying "film buff" in your office is probably pestering you to enter his Oscar pool, which he's convinced he's going to win. We want you to beat the ittle nerd. Here's how!

The eight residents of a house at 2000 S St., NW, in Washington, D.C. were selected to be the subject of a study about alcohol abuse and violence. These are the sad, horrible, appalling, bloody findings.

Last night it was time for the women to sing for their beautiful, diamond-encrusted supper. How'd they do? Ohh, you know, this is the Season of Horrors, so not terribly well. But not terribly, either.

If you're wondering just how far the nearly insolvent ex-mogul Harvey Weinstein has fallen, here's a handy metric: He can't even stop a Canadian filmmaker from making an unauthorized documentary about what a gargantuan dick he is. A Canadian!

This TV set is going to get complicated, since both his girlfriend and boytoy are co-stars of his. The set of this photo shoot was even worse, when the high-wattage celeb kept smoking meth. Just another day at the office.

NPH stars in The Smurfs movie. Rachel McAdams is in the new Woody Allen movie. A woman adapts her own divorce story. De Niro: De Starring opposite Bradley Cooper. The days are growing longer. The Roundup's length is variable.

Well they really tried, didn't they? After last week's unmitigated disaster, all the singing kids had to do their best to buoy this season back up. Did they succeed? Did they fail? Yes on both counts!

Last night's episode was a dark one, as we journeyed further into Sayid's forever-tortured soul and got a closer look at the thing that is Locke but isn't Locke.

It's bad enough he was cheating, but now he's extorting too. An actor is hitting on underage girlsa, and another star had an indecent public accident with another celeb. Also a clue about yesterdays' coked-up tweener. Oh callooh, callay!

Gilligan's Island: The Movie. Justin Timberlake: Romantic comedy star. Hurt Locker producer: Banned from the Oscars. Lorne Michaels: Bullish on Conan O'Brien. Marion Cotillard: Hired by Woody Allen. So much Trade to Round-up, guys. Get in here and let's party!

Despite being biggest thing since Jesus turned the Red Sea into loaves of fish, no one in New York knows much about the Oscars. And they won't fuck Brad Pitt. That's what a shrieking comedian found on the streets, anyway.

The Academy Awards have become more about the clothes and less about the awards themselves. Too bad all the ensembles are bland creations some stylist picked out. It's time to free ourselves from the tyranny of the Worst Dressed List!

Reality has corrected itself, sadly. Jay Leno is back on The Tonight Show and is once again beating Dave Letterman. Last night, Jay the returning conqueror handily clobbered his old nemesis, who could really use a good Palin scandal. [EW]

She walked into the party, like she was walking on to a yacht. OK, it was more like walking into a brothel. This MTV star doesn't want her sex tape to be the clouds in her coffee. They're so vain.

Dustin Hoffman's starring in the Deadwood guy's new series. The Dancing with the Stars cast is out. Everyone's partying at the Oscars. The UN pitches movies. Welcome to the roundup, care for a cookie? Too bad. We don't have any.

The Oscars are on Sunday! Aren't you soooo excited? What's that? It's shaping up to be one of the least-surprising Oscars in recent memory? Well, OK, sure. But we think there are actually a few things to be excited about.

Ahh, spring. When reality stars' fancies turn to lesbian publicity stunts. Kim Zolciak, from the planet Zolciak, is apparently dating female DJ Tracy Young. Just like Lindsay Lohan did with that Ronson girl, a known DJ! Awfully passe, Kim, really.

Every member of New Directions (including Brittany!) is going on a four-stop live tour this spring. They'll play Radio City May 28th and 29th. Alas, no Sue MF Sylvester, but we're still camping out for tickets starting now!

Since it was the most important sociological event of our time (and a ratings success) there will inevitably be dozens of new reality shows trying to rip it off. Just stop now. These are always horrible ideas.

Living in New York City is hard! There are too many people, too much noise, and far, far too many existential crises lurking in front of every Pinkberry. What do you need to make it through the day? A doobie!