When your girlfriend makes you get Botox, you do it to get laid. If you keep going back, then you're vain. Also checking the mirror, dueling pop divas, a closeted reality star, and a coked-up actress. Time for your shot!

Are you a There Will Be Blood kinda guy, or an Eternal Sunshine kinda gal? The choice of our favorite movie of the decade is one of the most important we as individuals can make.

Next week the world's critics will have their (completely meaningless) say about whether James Cameron's 3D extravaganza was worth waiting a decade for. But today, a couple British papers are jumping the gun to say it didn't suck.

World stand-up comedy today was greeted with news that should make the hard-working comedians of the world very nervous. Pauly Shore is now one lawsuit away getting his fingers on the trigger of Hollywood's most celebrated venue, the Comedy Store.

Now that we've met our new friend, how will we survive without it? It will be a long, cold winter until April 13 when Glee returns, but there was plenty to keep us warm in the great show choir showdown.

It's one thing to kiss and tell, but don't go around blabbing about an ex's endowment. Also shameless, a celeb who can't keep his affairs out of the tabloids and a binge-eating actress. It's enough to make you go limp.

Yes, she is apparently also into ladies that look like the day crew at Scores. An A-list star is looking to hire a famous girlfriend and this movie duo can't get along. Who is it? Cat got your tongue?

There is cheap stunt cheaper than putting a lead character in automotive peril. It's so cheap it makes Serena's wardrobe look wholesome. Why, oh, why can't she die in a car wreck? Teasing us makes us powerless.

Not only did she leave, but she's on a YouTube crusade against them. Better than wasting her time telling the same drug-fueled joke over and over or having a messy affair. Those two celebs joined the cult of no personality.

Some things are best when they remain hidden, like one actor's substance-abuse problems and romantic inclinations. He and a barely-covered actress, a closeted actor, and a fame-craving lady could learn a lesson in discretion from this broken-up-but-pretending-to-be-together couple. Guess away!

Hard to see anyone knocking the teenage vampires off their perch this weekend — especially as Up In the Air is only in limited release — but a few old stalwarts are reporting for duty and ready to try.

Jersey Shore is like opening a tiny present to find it is full of diamonds, but diamonds made of booze, puke, fights, diseases, and discarded thongs. You thought this gift couldn't get better, but it does. It really, really does.

If you thought you might be rid of Vinnie Chase and the boys anytime soon, think again (insert Ari Goldesque homophobic epithet here). The gang is taking it to the big screen!

There were two shots left at shaking up this year's horrifically locked in Oscar race: the musical Nine and Avatar. Well, after today's very mixed reviews of Nine, it looks like Oscar's only got one bullet left.

It's one thing to patronize one of the world's oldest professionals, but they are not the guys you marry—especially if you're closeted. Other rules: don't cheat on your wife, don't tattoo anyone's name on your body. Class dismissed.

The Sundance Film Festival announced the complete line-up for its 2010 festival built around the trend beloved of the intelligentsia — teenagers running amok.

Hollywood has a new kingpin, and its not Comcast's Brian Roberts. Cynthia Stafford, a Hawthorne homemaker, has decided to cash in her $30 million dollar lottery prize on the dream of becoming the next Louis B. Mayer.

The official announcement today that Comcast will take over NBC/Universal marks the greatest counter-revolutionary change in show business history with flyover country now postioned to put its stamp on Hollywood, rather than vice-versa.

Wow, who ever thought that a show about a band of lovable losers could be so dark? We were crying tears of sadness instead of our usual tears of joy. It still felt pretty good, but damn!

In the most shockingly easy item ever, this star has been diddling club hostesses and waitresses. Who could it be? Also, the return of Coke Mom and another old gem about keeping it in the family. Blind items are fun!