· You think you had a traumatic 2008? Don't even get Diablo started.

The United States of Tara, legend goes, was an idea that popped into the mind of Steven Spielberg, who then handed it over to screenwriting phenomenon Diablo Cody to flesh out into a half-hour pilot.

Click to viewBoomp3.com At the 12th annual Hollywood Film Festival awards, popular culture impresario Diablo Cody decided to celebrate Halloween a few days earlier, doing her best zombie walk down the red carpet. Cody described herself as a fresh zombie, just a couple of hours old, but also felt she could go another way with her outfit. Cody said, “It’s a tad Stepfordy too. Like if Pris from Blade Runner was somebody’s wife.” [Photo Credit: Getty Images] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

When Sarah Palin's teenage daughter Bristol revealed her pregnancy earlier this year, all of America played the exciting game "This Thing Is Like That Thing," remarking, "Hail fellow! This young maiden with childe recalls the heroine of the moving picture Juno. For seriousballs!" And it was good. Sadly, Sarah Palin is not Allison Janney, and according to Juno scripter Diablo Cody, Bristol is no Sunny D-swigging Juno, either:

Diablo Cody—Patron Saint of Former Strippers Who Did It Just for the Experience but Ultimately Aspired to Something More—is the writer of The United States of Tara, a new Showtime series previewed in the promotional package above. Starring Toni Colette and based on an idea by Steven Spielberg, much is riding on Tara and its tale of an American mom who just happens to suffer from dissociative identity disorder. Diablo defends her lighthearted treatment of the illness as such:

Diablo Cody—the hippest, be-boppingest, most linguistically dexterous screenwriter in Hollywood—has finally gotten mad. The woman responsible for the twee little indie sensation Juno has always presented a cool cucumber, just-like-you, Hollywood "outsider" vibe, to the delight of some and the annoyance of others. She's from Minnesota! She's a former stripper! She didn't go to no fancy film school. It all seems a bit synthetic, honestly, which is why it's funny/sad to see her snap. She's chosen to publicly rail against the myraid internet haters who apparently spend their days knitting her doom, and she's doing it on MySpace, of course. She even manages to throw an "I have an Oscar and you don't" brag in for good measure. Though heck I'd brag too if I pulled off such a spectacular heist, and been praised for a silly and indulgent acceptance speech to boot. Read the full rant, via SlashFilm, after the jump.

After taking two months off from her Myspace blog (but not her Twitter), Oscar-winning leopard print fan Diablo Cody returned to the medium yesterday — but this was not to be some simple homecoming. Cody had a bone to pick with fans who she sensed had begun to reject the cool, refreshing taste of Sunny D in favor of a nice, tall glass of Haterade, and the Juno screenwriter wasn't about to suffer their attacks in silence. Instead, in a post entitled "Hello Again! (Starring Shelly Long)," Cody decided to get something off her chest (and it wasn't whipped cream):

• Jennifer Aniston was photographed holding hands on a Mexican beach with a MYSTERY MAN. He's OLDER. Also, she's just friends (third item) with actor Gerard Butler even though he was totally TOUCHING HER THIGH.

Though the upcoming Diablo Cody thriller Jennifer's Body may cover up more of actress Megan Fox than people were expecting, at least Fox makes up for it by exposing herself in the latest edition of GQ. Few subjects are left untouched in the wide-ranging interview, whether it's her boyfriend's penis ("Who’s given a hand job since seventh grade? Not me"), Disney ("Fuck Disney"), or her Transformers director (when asked if the Transformers sequel will give the actress more to do, Fox flatly responds, "Transformers 2 is directed by Michael Bay"). Still, most tongues will wag when Fox recalls the female stripper she fell in love with at LA's full-frontal emporium The Body Shop when she was just 18:

You knew it was bound to happen: Oliver Stone's gauntlet-throw to chronicle a sitting president by Election Day would be one-upped by an ambitious upstart determined to develop, produce and release a film about a campaigning candidate by the same time. And just like that, from a Defamer operative, comes Juneau, the untold story of Bristol Palin, her babydaddy and one Alaskan governor/vice-presidential hopeful to rule them all. Who knew the sleeper hit of the season would come out of the GOP Convention and not Toronto? Even Roger Ebert is into it! Let the bidding war begin.

Pregnant Juno star Jennifer Garner asked if the snappers surrounding her could take about ten big steps back before she entered a medical building. As a woman with child, Garner needs all the space that she can get. Garner added, "I'm showing, not like Minnie Driver showing, but us pregnant women can explode at any moment. And in the best interest of me, you, and your sneakers, let's take a couple of steps back and let move on by."

It seemed like the upcoming horror-comedy Jennifer's Body had a foolproof formula for success: take Oscar-winning writer Diablo Cody, cast sexy Mother Teresa-assayer Megan Fox, throw in a nude scene, and laugh all the way to the blood bank. Sadly, it looks like producers may have trimmed one of the film's main selling points, if a new review posted at JoBlo is any indication. Though the amateur critic had not been keen to see the film, a friend lured him in with what proved to be false advertising:

The Brits are always fond of reminding us of just how many stars they’ve discovered, sent our way, and watched dominate the last decade’s Best Actress Oscar pool. And Keira Knightley is certainly one of their most notable success stories. But as much as they love gushing over their own born-and-bred A-listers, whenever a newer, younger little Brit with potential comes along, they love yanking that shiny crown off the last pout-y superstar and placing it atop the unknown’s pretty-ish head. Which leads us to 16-year-old Georgia "The Next Kiera Knightley" Groome, the upcoming star of the irresistibly-titled Angus, Thongs, And Full-Frontal Snogging, hailed by The Daily Mail as Bridget Jones for teenagers. But after reading more about the film and its quirky dialogue (imagine a script co-written by Diablo Cody and Anthony Burgess), not to mention its leading lady’s disturbing ignorance on all things Johnny Depp-related, we came up with three reasons why Georgia will have a hard time filling Keira’s impossibly narrow shoes:1. The Script Makes Bend It Like Beckham Sound Like Shakespeare: Diablo may have been able to get away with now-sticky phrases like "Honest to blog" and "Phuket, Thailand!" thanks to the plucky work of Ellen Page. But take a gander of these cringe-worthy attempts to make the next "fetch" happen from Angus: "'Oh my giddygodspyjamas" (what she exclaims when she sees a boy she likes), "nunga-nunga holder" (bra) and "Vulgaria!" (the biggest put down). Call us nuts, but we find it hard to get on board with a star whose "As if>!"-esque breakthrough quote-worthy line includes any of the above. 2. Georgia Has No Cokepants Escapades Or Nudity Scandals In Her Future: As she tells the Mail, "I don't think I could handle all that fame and attention...Basically, I like living with my mum and dad, I like living at home, I like school and I'd miss all my friends.'" Oh dear. We're not sure an actress can even get her passport stamped on this side of the pond spouting that kind of saccharine wholesomeness. At least Keira busts out an F-bomb or twelve in nearly every interview she's given. 3. Anyone Who Dares To Neglect Johnny Depp's Pre-Pirates Career Is On Our Shit List: And we don't care how young they are. On the topic of Depp, Georgia gets all gooey-eyed and 'fesses to a crush (permissible), but goes on to say she didn't know who he was before she saw his Keith Richards impersonation in the swashbuckling blockbusters. In our world, that kind of talk is pure sacrilege, even for a 16-year-old.

Alan Ball's new HBO vampire series True Blood looks a bit campy in an annoying way (also, Anna Paquin?), and Jennifer's Body, a movie about a possessed killer teen, was written by irksome Juno wordsmith Diablo Cody, so I think it's funny that they've both bumbled and created exactly the same poster (seen above). My biggie b, tween twitterers. Honest to blog, it would be the mac in my cheese if you didn't mention it again! [via Videogum] Click thru for larger.

We knew we were experiencing déjà vampire when first we glimpsed HBO's central marketing image for Alan Ball's new series True Blood—something we mistakenly attributed to the iconic Rocky Horror lips (soon to be played by Audrina Patridge's vagina in an MTV remake—but more on that later!). But it was only upon seeing the virtually identical key art for sunlight-resistant Diablo Cody's Jennifer's Body that the true inspiration for both campaigns hit us: A portrait of Angelina Jolie from Entertainment Weekly in which the actress plays up her succubus image, savoring what we like to imagine were the last drops of Billy Bob Thornton's hemogravy after a particularly rough session of Hide the Stake. Click to experience the full cannibalistic scope of this bloody marketing horror!

Oh Ellen Page. Why must you make it so easy to spark lesbionic rumors after every public appearance, from outfits showcasing your boyish frame, hiring a Power Lesbian publicist to defend your Non-Power Lesbian status, and showing Jay Leno and the country just how masculine your workout moves are? Not to mention that business of stroking your phantom goatee during the macho exercises in question? Adding more flame to the female-loving fire, Page is currently filming Whip It! in Michigan alongside Drew Barrymore in the newly single actress’ directorial debut. And after hearing the trajectory of Page’s star character Bliss, including every budding Chic Lesbian’s preference of roller derby races over that superficial tradition of beauty pageants (note: we are just imagining what Ellen’s Us-recruited body language expert would "think"), we can't exactly believe with certainty that Page isn't a member of Closeted Hollywood. Not to mention these photos of the Diablo-spawned prodigy on set looking her makeup-free, greasy-haired, baggy sweatpants-wearing finest:

It turns out we may have attributed the day's Screenwriter Dream Come True to Justin Theroux too soon — we hadn't yet browsed the news that Steven Spielberg anointed Diablo Cody to adapt another one of his stories as a comedy for DreamWorks, and we hadn't heard Seth Rogen's indirect riposte to the idea that he and his colleagues should deign to working with... well, he just tells the story better:

Stop us if you think you've heard this one before, but we've repeatedly stumbled upon cocktail chatter lately in which the topic of Juno—the Oscar-winning 2007 teen pregnancy movie that ushered in a whole generation of pact babies—has come up. More specifically: that there exists a 2005 movie from Korea, called Jeni, Juno, about high school sweethearts who conceive and see their baby to term. According to the movie's Wikipedia entry, Juno screenwriter Diablo Clody was unaware of the other movie's existence when she wrote her screenplay. We've posted the trailer above, with some helpful translation courtesy of Molly McAleer. Beyond the title and basic premise, we think you'll agree the two films couldn't be more different.

Looking for something to do tonight? Juno screenwriter/ unhealthy-Defamer -preoccupation topic Diablo Cody is curating the New Beverly schedule for the next two weeks, in a programme she calls MONDO DIABLO: Season of the Bitch!. "Call it a festival, a season, or just TWO SOLID WEEKS OF FUCKING RAD SHIT," she writes on her MySpace blog. The fun kicks off tonight with a Reitman family reunion, as both Ivan and Jason will be on hand to answer all your Stripes and Thank You for Smoking-related questions. To sweeten the pot—as if that fucking rad shit-filled pot needed sweetening—Cody has offered to sign your Juno DVDs and Blu-Rays, or your scrotum:

Hollywood's power list got a little more diffuse Monday when Diablo Cody, Marion Cotillard, Judd Apatow and Sacha Baron Cohen were among 105 new invitees to join the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. The number is the lowest since 2004, when the Academy instituted its "Riff-Raff Rule" limiting the annual invitee total to 137; that said, we're not sure what kind of internal politics and/or pledge drives would necessitate inviting Michael Haneke and Jet Li to assume even 1/6000th of the Oscar vote. Follow the jump for more of this year's celebrated AMPAS Cub Club!