Yeesh! Sorry about the long gap this afternoon. Someone must have ripped those server-powering gerbils from their little rusty wheels. (I'm looking at you, porno sibling Fleshbot.) Fortunately, we're movin' on up in the next 24 hours — we're getting some of those fancy Upper East Side servers! Mmm! Here's the good news: because of this whole "time zone" thing, Defamer keeps posting after I start my end of the day vodka IV and give up on trying to type in complete sentences. So, you know: do it LA style for the rest of the evening. Thanks!

Sightings are provided by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Gawker is pleased as punch to announce our new site, Defamer, devoted to Hollywood and all its industry nastiness. Finally, I have something concrete to make fun of out in Hell-A — and now you have an appropriate venue to publish those sightings of Michael Eisner riding costume-clad Disney "cast members" around Spago.
Defamer [Defamer]

I know New York mag tried to warn us with a special last week on the new taxi fare rates, but I don't really read those magazines. I saw some graphs and pictures of cabs and I thought, "So shiny! So pretty!" Then I threw the mag right back next to the toilet.

The problem with getting all your news online is that you never know how big it actually is. It's like blind dates — you don't know if they're well hung until, too often, it's way too late. Then you just have to make sympathetic noises.

Put your money where my mouth is: advertise on Gawker.

Whew, sorry for the tardiness this morning. I think Marilyn Manson put it best when he said, "I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me." So true, Marilyn. So true.

1. Create your own Thomas Friedman Op-Ed Column.
2. Who's to blame for reporters who make stuff up? You are! Why weren't you paying attention, lazy reader?
3. Did you know that Manhattanites live in daily terror of street electrocution? Related: New Yorkers still cower in presence of C.H.U.D.s.
4. Jay-Z: No rappers were harmed in the making of his new video.
5. The daily Avenue B Starbucks rumor-laundering.
6. Math actually does have uses: Mathematical Patterns in African-American Hairstyles. [via Boing Boing]

· Is Lynn Hirschberg the new Hollywood embed? The NYT mag editor-at-large gets paid to be chummy, says the Times: "a significant part of her job is to mingle with people in the Hollywood and fashion worlds, to bring us ideas and stories." [NYP]
· Sharon Stone — single again? [NYP]
· Newsflash: A new film claims that theater composer Cole Porter was GAY. Wha...? The film's writer, Jay Cocks (snicker), says Porter "may actually have been more promiscuous" than depicted in the film. A million theater 'mos are shrieking. [NYDN]
· The allegedly-broke Michael Jackson is spending his time dropping cash in Florida, Britney quit drinking, and someone in Hollywood is bisexual, but once again, I have no clue what Ted Casablanca's talking about. [E!]
· Scarlet Johansson to model for Vuitton. (How much money does one teenaged girl need? Is she retiring at 24? Take it easy, product-whore.) [NYP]

· Is there just something wrong with the Hilton family? I mean, besides the obvious? Like, are they mutants? Now Rick and Kathy Hilton are planning a reality show for NBC, in which they'll plunk down some trailer trash in their NYC apartment and make them classy... you know, classy, just like the Hilton family. [NYP]
· Ellen Barkin and Revlon megazillionaire Ronald Perelman prepare to exercise their prenup. Also in the NYDN: Nathan Lane, still super-queeny, Monica Lewinsky pawning off her old stuff at the 25th St. fleamarket (also NYP), and Jon Bon Jovi thinks Katie Couric is a fox. [NYDN]
· "Baywatch" ex-babe Gina Lee Nolin battens down her hatches, as it were, to prepare for the web-release of her steamy home video. [NYP. Fleshbot is all over it.]
· Daily News gossip-boy Lloyd Grove is "on vacation" this week. (Dead in a gutter? In rehab? Living la vida loca? Looking for a new job?)

1. Paris Hilton shot the new Guess jeans campaign last week. Well, it'll be nice to see pictures of her without Rick Salomon's genitalia near her face.
2. Would-be college students are paying 5 cents a word for application essays. Cripes, for that kind of money you could be writing for the New York Times.
3. We need to salute the NY Post for what we believe is their first use of 'doody' in a headline. It's an important milestone in the culture/obscenity wars. Yeah, that's it...
4. Tonight's the Met's annual Costume Institute Ball: get an eyeful of Blaine Trump's "romantic-heaving bosom."
5. Cate Blanchett gave birth on Friday and the press release didn't go out until today?
6. David Foster Wallace's forthcoming story collection gets a starred Kirkus review. Also, it's only 384 pages, so maybe someone will actually read it. [via Travelers Diagram]

· Come on, Michael, we let Miss Congeniality slide. Just a poor judgement call, we told ourselves. But now, Miss Congeniality 2? Mmm...In any case, you're a good man, Michael Caine, and if we could afford to, we would most certainly shell out the $25 -150 and honor you tonight at the Lincoln Center Film Society Benefit.
· Get your riot grrrl on tonight (or, you know, get on a riot grrrl) with Sleater-Kinney at Irving Plaza. Show up on time, cause Portland Sub Pop-ers the Thermals will rock your little socks off.
· Ditch the L.L. Bean backpack for a fine Italian leather handbag at the Perlina sample sale .
· Long-time Gawker intern Alexis, who diligently does these to-do lists (among other duties) every day while getting good grades at a schmancy school, is graduating next month and is looking for a job. She can write, she's smart, she's got her "finger" on the "pulse," and she's always on time. Also, mixes good mocktails! Send job offers to tips@gawker.com.

You too can keep us toiling in hot pursuit of this summer's "it" drink: info on Gawker advertising here.

1. A Friends writer's assistant harassment claim against Warner Brothers, et al, depicts the sitcom's writing environment: "[Writer] Adam Chase participated in conversations with Reich and Malins regarding Courteney Cox probably having dried twigs in her uterus."
2. Important Britney Spears update: buys Casio keyboard, puts keyboard in car.
3. Bloomingdale's opens in Soho tomorrow.

· Paris Hilton video to hit video rental stores on June 15th. Undoubtedly it won't be appearing at the prudish Blockbuster chain. [NYDN]
· Jack Nicholson has a birthday carouse: he's only 67? Who ran over his face? [NYP]
· Model and daughter-of-the-un-American-revolution Amanda Hearst won't be snagging or snogging Prince William. [NYDN]
· Orin Lehman: the society walker loves more than one lady with a facelift. [NYP]
· Speaking of, WABC's Roz Abrams is suddenly putting her best face forward. [NYDN]

Sightings are provided by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

· Page Six almost finishes an item about the new gay chat show starring Michael Musto and Frank DeCaro without using the word "swishy." But then they do.
· Lennie Kravitz talks in code to Hello! about his failed love affair with Nicole Kidman. [NYDN]
· Omarosa pitches a fit at American Airlines. [NYP]
· Liquor-loving party-monster Tara Reid appears outdoors in daylight hours for the first time in recent memory. [NYDN]
· Michael Musto unleashes the blind items: "Which gossip columnist on a rampage recently tried (unsuccessfully) to get a weekly magazine to print a negative item about that other daily's more popular column?" Heh. [VV]

· Elite modelling agency put itself on the auction block: expect it to be the first of many as class-action fee-fixing lawsuits send modelling agencies into bankruptcy. Whatever will the models do??? [NYP]
· You have to own a hotel these days to score a starlet: most recently, Heather Graham snuggles up to Toronto hotelier Jeff Stober. [NYP]
· It's outta-Manhattan joke day at the Daily News. Miramax head Harvey Weinstein says of being knighted that "The closest I came to queens was Flushing." Har. And Bette Midler, getting awarded the trash-picker-upper medal of honor on Long Island said "I'm flabbergasted - I had no idea I was loved on Long Island, where the Jews go to breed. Then they go to Florida to stop breeding." [NYDN]
· Four Seasons co-owner and playboy Julian Niccolini on the competition: "We have no competition . . . Oh, you mean Michael's and that other place on Park Avenue, are they still open?" [NYP]
· Page Six Correction: WB entertainment reporter not married by dwarf. I'm really glad we got that settled and can now go on with our lives. [NYP]

Sorry about the afternoon's gaps in posting: evidently the rodents whose little tiny enslaved paws turn the wheels of our servers were given the afternoon off. Or died. Whatever. I dunno, this place is a fucking shambles. My ashtrays are all full! Where the fuck did the interns go?

· Cellphone-theft victim Kevin Spacey admits to not being assaulted in London's Geraldine Mary Harmsworth Park while walking the dog at 4 a.m. None of his ex-tricks could be reached for comment. [CNN]
· Andre Balazs, owner of the Standard and the Raleigh, to open bargain basement hotel — with $50-a-night bunk beds. Great, more poor tourists in New York. [NYM]
· The coming crisis: the Republican conventions attempt to capitalize on September 11th will cause conflict with fashion week. We agree with Rush and Molloy: let's consolidate the two events. There's always a few lingerie-clad wayward women at the conventions anyway. [NYDN]
· For no apparent reason, WB "News at Ten" reporter gets married with a dwarf officiating. [NYP]
· Russell Simmons' wife Kimora "from the block" Lee loses charity auction to have Manolo Blahnik name a shoe after her. That's good — Kimora would be a pretty hooker-ish name for a shoe. [NYP]