We've talked about this before, people, but evidently some of the class needs a refresher course. A cranky luncher writes:

1. Brad Pitt's crotch on the L'Uomo Vogue cover: wait, is Troy the stealthiest gay movie yet?
2. We didn't even want to get into the NYT article on Dodgeball today. But yes — the whole point of "Friendster for your cell phone" is to get laid.
3. London premieres a high-resistance shopping cart for supermarket workouts.
4. It's true: Miramax boss Harvey Weinstein has sold his memoirs. We figure it'll be a thinly-veiled and super-bitchy roman a clef about how all his assistants bitched him out and screwed him over.

Sightings are provided by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

We're horrified, but according to a source inside Fox (wow, THAT'S a phrase we always hoped we'd never have to type), the denied rumors are accurate. Nicole Kidman and Shepard Smith are dating? Shut up. No, seriously. Shut. Up. First Nicole's affair with Lenny Kravitz and his stainless steel business, and now this??? How very heterosexual.

· Star editor Joe Dolce embroiled in new scandal: one of his dogs set paw on the no-dogs lawn at the shitty landing strip that is the Hudson River Park. Fine: $50.00. DEVELOPING!!! [NYDN]
· Marilyn Manson to play Jesus in new George Romero movie. Cue tiresome Christian backlash. [NYP]
· Quentin Tarantino was macking on French actress hottie Emmanuelle Beart at Cannes? After this picture of hot Coppola-canoodling??? [NYP]
· Nicole Kidman is definitely not dating Fox anchor Shepard Smith. Oh my, how utterly improbable. [NYDN (last item)]

Some string, a magnet, and some time on your hands: well, it's gotta be less demeaning than freelancing.
Having Fun with Subway Grates [New Yorkish]

· The parents of Ashton Kutcher's 2001 Grammy date — she couldn't attend because she was dead — are still angry, says In Touch, because Ashton didn't call the police when he arrived at her empty house and saw dark stains on the floor. Eh, Ashton's dates pull that "I've been brutally murdered" routine all the time, he's used to it. [NYP]
· Actor Adrien Brody was the first across the finish line in the Gumball Rally sports car race. Semi-socialite Fabian Basabe allegedly competed as well — does he have clones? How does he simultaneously pose with actress-beards while driving 3000 miles across Europe? [NYDN]
· Why hasn't former Felicity posterboy Scott Speedman worked in film for a year and a half? Because all the good writers are working in TV. There just aren't any roles for good-looking young men in Hollywood, you know. [NYO]
· The Star is painting the Olsen twins as two hard-partying, gin-and-juice chugging man-wreckers. [NYP]
· Michael Musto gets mistaken for Tony Kushner. You know those people all look alike. [VV]

Want to ask for a raise this afternoon? Or want to beat up your boss, but scared she might kick your ass? Today's your lucky day! If you work in an office of do-gooders, they'll all be skipping lunch and donating their lunch money to charity City Harvest. Already-starved Vogue editors will be doubly weakened, and normally feisty bosses will suffer from blood sugar deficit. Today's a great day to steal from the fashion closet, turn in your work late, or hell, just disappear for the afternoon while the virtuous moan and groan.
Skip Lunch, Fight Hunger [City Harvest]

Wasn't it just last week that we found Brad Pitt lounging on the steps of a Chicago museum? Today we see Brad — with Jennifer Aniston — making the rounds of the Whitney Biennial. What does this mean? Is Brad boning up on conceptual art? Prepping for a second career? Or does he actually... like art? A stalkette writes:

· The cowboy from the Village People got married the other day. Yes, to a man. [NYP]
· Packer Collegiate Institute kids instructed to not mention their "country homes" to not make the poor students feel... poor. [NYDN]
· Ferragamo nixes breast-feeding video from art show in 5th Avenue store. Expect a cavalcade of nursing mothers to protest. [NYDN]
· Media moguls Lord and Lady Black: the magnitude of their scammery is coming out in court, like the Lady tipping Bergdorf doormen and expensing it. (Is that bad? Am I not supposed to do that?) [Chi Trib]

· Woody Allen's $27 mil apartment's mystery buyer is named as Barry Volpert, formerly of Goldman Sachs. Fortunately for Volpert, he haggled Woody down to $25 mil. What a bargain. [NYM]
· Star magazine reportedly cutting checks for informants acting as 'stringers.' Just like real freelance writers, the snitches bitch because they don't get their checks fast enough. [NYP]
· Actress Ellen Barkin and Revlong king Ron Perelman are back together again. They need to make up their damn minds because we're all losing interest here. [NYDN]
· What's the hot forthcoming book from the hype-hungry poptarts at Miramax Books? Macaulay Culkin's memoir. Seriously now. [NYDN]
· Just call her J.Ho — Lopez swaps Affleck's engagement ring for Marc Anthony's. [NYP]
· Scarlett Johansson tells Elle: Sure, I totally did Benicio Del Toro in the elevator at the Chateau Marmont after the Oscars, describing the experience as "unsanitary." [NYP]

· Billionaire investor George and his wife Susan Soros have finally officially separated. We're thinking there's one Eastern European model sporting Donald Trump's engagement ring who's kicking herself today. Too bad, too — George has much better hair. And, like, a conscience. [NYP]
· Everyone seems to think that Beyonce and her galpal Jay-Z have gotten married. That's odd. [NYP]
· The Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston breakup rumors are now nearing the second stage: publicist denial. Aniston will accompany Pitt to the NYC premiere of Troy. Mmm... developing! [NYDN]
· Donald Trump hot for Rob Lowe's hotness. [NYDN, 4th item]

1. Naomi Campbell wins her Daily Mirror invasion of privacy case.
2. Near riot ensues at Tribeca Film Fest screening of Jim Jarmusch film; pugilistic White Stripes frontman Jack White blamed because he's Jack White.
3. Former NYT film critic Elvis Mitchell says "I don't have any plans," threatens to stop reviewing films entirely.
4. American Media CEO and tabloid king David Pecker snags billboard at Broadway and 51st, directly across the street from competitor hachette Filipacchi.
5. Not safe for work: Actress Lindsay Lohan turns 18 on July 2, 2004: Why doesn't she get a cute countdown clock like the Olsen Twins?

· Vogue editor Anna Wintour's lover, Shelby Bryan, is, says a landlord, an illegal Chelsea subletter. When confronted in the lobby, Anna Wintour "was getting her mail from what was previously Frieda's mailbox, which she promptly body-slammed shut and then tried to disappear into the wall." [NYP]
· Heidi Klum's website, speaking from her new baby's first-person perspective (how postmodern!), announces "After having tasted the best nourishment in the world, I am very tired now and I just want to sleep." Has there been some kind of supermodel breast milk taste test, and we weren't informed? [NYDN]
· Blind items ahoy. [NYP]
· News from low society: Apprentice Nick Warnock to go to work for Gotham magazine. [NYP]
·If restaurant boy Rocco DiSpirito were an entree, he'd be sent back to the kitchen: the book's not selling, and he's headed to court. [NYP

Sightings are provided by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Rumor: What's-his-face with the fucked up name wasn't posting on Gawker today because he was out looking for a job. As one tipster put it: "Slow postings on Gawker Media sites are the real office equivalent (or so I remember) of wearing the out-of-place suit to work. Please tell me that you are just drunk during the day."

Finally, concluding this four-part analysis of Quest mag's society list of 400: Sure, we all hate people, and are hated in turn. But by what measure can we judge the most hated, most obnoxious members of so-called high society (and perhaps of Manhattan in general)? Cross-referencing the Quest 400 with the New York Press's 2004 Most Loathsome New Yorker list, we find a slim, but certainly meaningful, collection of most-hated New York names:

Say you're one of the richest people in the world — but still, you're getting snubbed on Park Avenue. Here's the 16 New Yorkers on the Forbes 500 list of richest folk who were snubbed from Quest magazine's high society list. Don't feel too bad — they can afford to start their own club. Hell, they could buy Quest magazine and burn every back issue with their lunch money. (Mmm, please?)

Team Gawker Data, in its analysis of the Quest 400, wants to know who's really REALLY rich. Not satisfied with the "Quest 400" as a prop to stand on its own two Manolos, we have also cross-referenced the list with the Forbes 400 Wealthiest People in the U.S. Only 24 individuals, couples, or families make both cuts.

Team Gawker Data (Andrew Krucoff, Chris Gage, Alexis Swerdloff) took on its biggest project to date by sifting through the "in/out pornolalia of society names" listed on this year's Quest 400. Quest, for the uninitiated, is a society magazine obsessed with the epistemology of uptown clout: how can we tell what "high society" is?