Dave Chappelle walking with his wife and kids in SoHo ... John Mayer leaving his apartment building with a duffel bag ... Michael Stipe leaving lunch at Souen on East 13th Street ... Mary-Kate Olsen walking with her finger wrapped in a bandage ... Sarah Silverman and Tina Fey outside the Letterman show ... Jessica Alba standing on the sidewalk with her bodyguard holding her waist... Lindsay Lohan going into Kirna Zabete in SoHo, and later leaving the Bowery Hotel ... and Dina and Ali Lohan leaving the launch of Lindsay's new clothing line at Henri Bendel.

After months of open canoodling with celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan has stopped playing coy about whether the two of them are in a relationship, finally confirming the news on (of all places) last night's episode of the radio show Loveline. And she wasn't even prompted by the harsh interrogation techniques of Dr. Drew, either! No, Lohan — who had the phone passed to her after Ronson called in to discuss her hospitalized friend DJ AM — was caught flat-footed after an innocent question by Dr. Drew's cohost, Stryker.Asked, "You and Samantha have been going out for how long now?" Lohan giggled and demurred, but Stryker pressed on. "Like two years?" he asked. "One year? Five months? Two months?" Finally, Lohan allowed, "A very long time." The MySpace pundit then accepted compliments on her relationship, eventually signing off in a bit of Italian that stumps the hosts (is that how lesbians talk?). Our congratulations go out to the newly confirmed couple. Stryker, you'd better prepare for tonight's inevitable Michael Lohan call-in. [Loveline]

[Actress Lindsay Lohan calling the police about a paparazzo with whom she'd had "an altercation," in New York last night; image via INF] finwar's new line beats the original, "No Sam, I'm Totally Serious. I Just Saw Her. My Mom, Flying By, On a Broom."

Though Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff have been rivals for so long that no one can even remember how it began (wait, Aaron Carter? Really?), there's at least one thing the two starlets can agree on this week: their dads each need a serious time-out. In fact, while Lohan took to the pages of MySpace to chastise her father, Duff's received an actual sentencing: ten days in the slammer for poor parenting. Before we explore why, though, let's begin with the latest in the Lohan family psychodrama, which reached its boiling point this week when a fame-hungry Michael Lohan took to the press to denounce the woman who his daughter has "gone gay" for: Samantha Ronson. That didn't sit so well with Lindsay, who made a scathing rebuttal today on her Myspace celebrity blog:

1) On Saturday night, Gwyneth Paltrow co-hosted "The Mane Event" to benefit Amaryllis Farm Equine Rescue with photographer Steven Klein at his West Kill Farm in Bridgehampton. Arden Wohl, Kiera Chaplin, Kelly Klein, Patrick McMullan, Sale Johnson, and Rory Tahari all made appearances, but hotly anticipated guest Madonna was a no show. [NYO/PMc]

Did you catch Anderson Cooper on Live! With Regis And Kelly this morning? If you did, you got something of look inside the CNN heartthrob's conflicted soul. First Cooper said his favorite Project Runway contestant is the one who's really into leather — heh. Then came a long stretch where Cooper really couldn't stop himself from revealing more and more of his involuntary obsession with the with the "atrocious... trainwreck" of a reality show Living Lohan. Cooper said actress Lindsay Lohan's mother Dina and sister Ali are "horrific people," with Ali set to become a "striptease person" (well, of course). But he can't look away — Cooper even makes time for the show while reporting in a warzone. And don't we all sorta feel that way about reality television? This is why Anderson Cooper is America's Secret Boyfriend. Fall in love with him all over again after the jump.

• Alex Rodriguez is expected to file divorce papers of his own in a Miami court today: He's wants his prenup enforced and any charges that he cheated on wife Cynthia removed from the record. [NYDN]

• New revelations from the legal battle between The Weinstein Co. and NBC over Project Runway: It turns out that Tim Gunn didn't get paid a dime for his participation during the show's first season (he got paid just $2,500 per episode for the second), Harvey Weinstein hates Bravo chief Lauren Zalaznick, and Bravo didn't send Heidi Klum a respectable thank-you gift, even after the show became a major hit. [R&M]

It’s always a hoot when you show up to an audition thinking you’re just trying out for another straight-to-DVD horror remake, only to find out afterwards that you just emoted all your talents in front of a titan of the porn industry. In yet another display of complete parental ignorance, Dina Lohan’s decision to send Lindsay-wannabe Ali on a journey to score a part in Troll in this weekend’s season finale of Living Lohan was kind of equivalent to sending your 14-year old daughter on a read-through of Bun Busters 13 or Breast Wishes 15. Yes, Ali’s eager efforts to make it big in showbiz has officially included a smiley “nerve-wracking” experience reciting classic lines like “Ratburgers!” in front of the multi-colored hair piece-topped Peter Davy, responsible for discovering gangbang queen Houston, among many other hardcore accomplishments. The clip, including Ali's stomach-tightening attempt to impress the porn industry professionals, after the jump.We, just like most of you, watched the Sunday finale of Dina’s pet project somewhat naïvely, unsuspecting of any cameos by canonized porn producers or guest spots made by directors intending on using Ali’s potential role into a “private instruction” on how to turn an otherwise innocuous ‘80s film remake into a “delicious” and sexy flick made magical by “people in China.” While the Troll director’s instructions guide Ali through much of the embarrassing audition, we have a sneaking suspicion that Davy’s presence is to blame for the wee Lohan’s need to imitate the “acrobatic” lead’s performance as Eunice, the “guardian against dark magic,” by imagining the casting room’s crew of greasy-haired Skinematic and Blowtime veterans are “really big movie people.” Typically, we await tomorrow, when Dina releases a statement denying Ali was ever in such a room whatsoever, and that any footage documenting the fact that she was were created by vicious haters is pure “bull doodie.”

We don’t know whether to cry tears of sadness or sweet relief, but last night brought us the heartbreaking season finale of Dina Lohan’s dream come true: the Lindsay-free joy ride through the one of the most frightening TV family’s household that was Living Lohan. And despite all Dina’s efforts to convince us we should be happy for little 14-year old Ali and her double whammy of career success stories featured in this episode, the last few months have taught us that a role in the Troll remake and a single that makes our ears bleed do not necessarily a superstar make. But, as we’ve learned throughout the season, no matter how small these sad triumphs, if it weren’t for Dina and her never-ending flow of parental lessons, Ali would still just be some normal teenager allowed to go to the mall with friends and shop, instead of Dina's way of remaining the Mother Of The Century:1) Guarantee Daughter Flops An Audition By Giving Her The Script The Day Before! As we noted a while back, Ali is reportedly slated to appear in the “Worst Movie Ever Made,” a remake of cheap horror dramedy Troll. And though it’s quite obvious to everyone else that the producers are intent on casting a Lohan to get their movie some publicity, Dina manages to make the situation as difficult as possible by handing her the script one day before her audition. But we can’t really argue with this nugget of wisdom: “If you’re a really good director, you will know and you will see if someone has talent whether they know the lines or don’t know the lines.” 2) Show Support During Said Audition By Telling Daughter, "You Don’t Need Mommy"! After noting how scary it can be for someone like Ali, who doesn’t exactly have the most mature parents in the world, to meet real-live “adults,” Dina responds to her tween’s meager request for assistance during the meeting with the flick’s director by telling her, “You don’t need mommy.” Way to bolster her chances for an inevitable estrangement “just like Lindsay!” And that's a wrap! While we have yet to learn whether or not they'll be a Season Two of Living Lohan, one thing is certain — whether or not Ali succeeds in her career, Dina will surely find a way to continue to keep her name in the news. After all, isn't that what living Lohan is all about?

Just when things seemed to be coming up roses for Lindsay Lohan, none other than (surprise!) Mother of the Century Dina has jumped on the chance to turn two otherwise non-items into full-out scandals reminiscent of Lohan’s cokepants days. First, reports surfaced that her cigarette- and hickey-delivery girl Sam Ronson refused to play vocally challenged Ali Lohan’s new single at a DJ’ing gig last week because she felt the song was “really bad.” Not exactly breaking news, right? Thanks to Dina and Living Lohan, we already know anything Ali squeaks out won’t turn her into the next Whitney Houston (or even the next Lindsay). Then, over the weekend, TMZ reported that Lohan and Ronson were victims of a hit-and-run bicyclist while taking an innocent walk home after a night out in New York, ending with Lohan in the hospital. And so what? It’s not like Lohan was the hitter-and-runner, and any hospital stay without the phrases “asthma attack” or “fainting spell” attached to it is fine by us. But courtesy of both Michael Lohan and Dina's consistently yapping mouths, we will know have the pleasure of associating both stories with the phrase, “bull doodie”:As TMZ claimed on Saturday, Lohan was driven to a local NYC hospital after the lovey dovey lesbian duo were out late Friday night and a wayward biker struck the seemingly soberific star. After her both her rep confirmed the hospital stay to TMZ, and a hospital source stated the same details to the NY Post, the wonderful beacon of maternal guidance that is Dina tells the Post today that the entire story is "bull doodie." And! Even Michael Lohan, surely the runner-up for Long Island's Father Of The Year trophy, chipped in to assure the same paper that Lohan texted him over the weekend to say she was "fine, Daddy." Hey, who needs hospital sources and reps when you've got parents like that to bring the truth forward with oh-so-believable rebuttals? As for poor Ali, the Post reported over the weekend that notoriously smug (when it comes to musical taste) girlfriend Ronson had the nerve to turn down Dina's request to play the tween hack's new single at a NYC party — but today, Ronson reportedly took to her MySpace page to shoot down the rumors, calling the deafening ditty a "fucking great pop song." Which is sweet, until you realize that Ronson doesn't actually like pop songs — though we'd instinctively suspect Dina of instructing child-for-hire Cody to bust into Ronson's blog and write the entry himself, we prefer giving our favorite scissor-kicking couple the benefit of the doubt here. Maybe Lindsay does call Michael "Daddy." Maybe Ronson does love Ali's music. And maybe, just maybe, "bull doodie" is the new "crack is whack."

[Dina Lohan, mother of a lesbian person (Lindsay), leaving the Bowery Hotel with her less famous daughter and her famous daughter's less famous girlfriend's even less famous sister, after visiting the famous lesbian last night; image via INF]

Jay-Z chatting on his phone while getting into a car outside his Tribeca building ... Ethan Hawke and Ryan Shawnhughes pushing their newborn, Clementine, through the Village ... Sheryl Crow playing with son Wyatt on a downtown sidewalk ... Mario Lopez hailing a cab in Chelsea ... Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky on the set of a Vogue photo shoot in the East Village ... Jessica Simpson shopping at Bergdorf Goodman ... Blake Lively and Leighton Meester shooting scenes for Gossip Girl in Brooklyn ... Keri Russell taking a stroll through SoHo ... Kirsten Dunst and Agyness Deyn at a concert at McCarren Park Pool ... Sam and Charlotte Ronson leaving the Bowery Hotel with Lindsay, Dina and Ali Lohan.

[Just a regular college student before his gorgon mother MeDina (get it??) dragged him in front of a camera for her stupid reality show, Michael Lohan (brother of lesbo Lindsay) is photographed leaving the Beatrice Inn last night; image via INF]

At long last, Dina Lohan has figured out a way to put all those rumors about her fictional former career as a Rockette to rest. In a clever and trademark bout of not-so-subtle child manipulation, Dina arranges for the always-bored Cody to publicize her very own Vegas show starring Dina, her jazz hands, and a pair of leggings that look suspiciously like a knock-off of Lindsay's blow job-ready version. With Ali’s career at its inevitable standstill, Dina decided to show her little ones how a real stage star gets the job done: con your child into playing PR boy for your otherwise blip on glitter-dusted Vegas' star-studded radar, and feign shock and scorn for the cameras after Cody's adorable promotional fliers are hung all over town. And still, amidst all the excitement of Dina’s return to solo stardom, we viewers learned yet another essential trifecta of lessons on how to belittle your son, blow off pony-tailed Carlos Leon-wannabes who just want a piece of your delicious ass and, of course, dance like it’s 1989:

At the 10th anniversary party for Sephora, Michael Lohan sheepishly served as his mother Dina's temporary boyfriend. Michael explained that his mother would get him the video game "Dead Rising" for his Nintendo Wii if he walked down the red carpet with her arm-in-arm. Dina also wanted her son to mix and mingle with some of the other female celebrities at the event. Dina said, "Another high profile relationship in the family probably won't hurt our chances of getting picked up for a second season."

(1) Attendees at Sephora's party at the Angel Orensanz foundation last night included Lydia Hearst, Kelly Osbourne, Kat Von D, Nicky Hilton, Dani Stahl, Ali Wise, Jason Preston, Mike Satsky, Olivia Palermo, and Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss. The crowd, though, was more impressed by the presence of out-and-proud couple Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson (above, with half-sister Annabelle) than by performances by Ashanti and Natasha Bedingfield. [Elle/PMc]

In the grainy land of reality show famewhoring, sometimes a pair of boobs will come together and a cable miracle is born. And that’s exactly what happened last night when we saw our maternal icon, Dina Lohan, meet our paternal icon, Hugh Hefner. On the latest edition of television’s most reliable guide to parenting, Dina taught us some highly unique strategies in order to effectively downsize your son’s balls, fake your way to the fountain of youth via Me-Time, and prove to your tweenage daughter just how insanely awesome and superior you are by making her choose between “Mr. Hot” and a career in music best left for those with actual talent. The newest lessons learned from Living Lohan, below:

Another day, another provocative pictorial series starring a scantily clad Miley Cyrus. The latest batch of photos featuring the 15-year old Billion Dollar Girl staging her own personal Playboy Jr. shoot for boyfriend Nick Jonas has surfaced online, thanks to a hacker who claims he got a hold of everything on Miley's iPhone. We've already seen Miley's makeout sessions with various girls and boys, eating her clothes off and, of course, daringly flashing her bare back in Vanity Fair. But now we have the (uncomfortable) pleasure of seeing the then-14 year old showering in a wet t-shirt, photographing her widely seen midriff and, in a highly anticipated step closer to actual kiddie porn, totally topless. And judging by Miley's posing style, stances, and familiar Blow A Kiss act, this is not a matter of kids growin' up so fast these days. If you're looking to point fingers, look no further than original self-produced porn star Lindsay Lohan:

A brief refresher course in what's currently going on in the wild world of the Lohans: Lindsay's dad, Michael, apparently banged some woman when he was separated from Lindsay's mom. The lady he banged had a child. Yesterday, Michael took a paternity test to see if the child is his. We're still waiting on that verdict, but stop the presses ... OK! Magazine has the first photos of Lindsay's potential half-sister Ashley!