Scientologists have mobilized to seize on the promotional and recruitment opportunities presented by the horror going on in Haiti, and John Travolta has personally arranged to fly "volunteer ministers" to Haiti to inflict his junk science on victims there.

Earlier this evening, a video was posted to YouTube of Wyclef Jean addressing questions that have arisen regarding his charity, Yele Haiti, their financial history, and their ability to impact disaster relief efforts right now.

Rush Limbaugh said various dumb and bigoted things about Haiti. People criticized him for this. Now—and who could've seen this coming?—he is digging in, and saying even more controversial things. Like somehow this is related to death panels?

To help Haiti, send money. Not supplies or medicine or anything else.

Click to viewRush Limbaugh: "We've already donated to Haiti. It's called the U.S. income tax." What?? (And that is one of like ten other ways he attempted to tie the death of tens of thousands to Barack Obama, somehow.) [Related?]

The Red Cross is "out of medical supplies." The Daily Beast has identified the NGOs most deserving of your donations. (Watch out for frauds soliciting donations in the coming days.) And the White House emails:

The Way We Live Now: Putting things in perspective. It works like this: we think our lives are fucked because of the recession. Then we contemplate Haiti's circumstances. A few minutes later we're like, whatever, it still sucks here, too.

Yesterday there was little news available from Haiti, so optimism remained. But as more info about yesterday's earthquake comes out, it looks grim. The prime minister says hundreds of thousands may be dead. The government has almost ceased to function.

A 7.0 quake has struck Haiti just outside Port-au-Prince causing widespread damage. The Haitian ambassador to the United States, Raymond Alcide Joseph, told CNN, "I think it's really a catastrophe of major proportions." The AFP spoke to a reporter with a Haitian TV station who described devastation in the capital:

Do you need context, for this? A Fox correspondent says Philippines is covered in ash, because of a volcano, so "in a way they're having a white christmas." So nice of Jesus to blanket them in His loving sulfur!

Facebook's new "privacy" settings are even more nefarious than they first appeared: The social network has formally nationalized your friends list, like some Cuban sugar plantation, and published it to people who hate you. You have no choice.

Today in 'Things That Can Shut Down the NYC Subway System:' Delicate fallen leaves.

Do you know what are terrifying? Forklifts. Check out our collection of the Most Disastrous Forklift Fails and understand the irony of dumb forklift operators who wear hardhats — there's nothing there to protect!

Explosions, tidal waves, and marshmellow men abound in this incredible montage set to Rhapsody in Blue.

Last month, Popular Mechanics named TechCrunch's CrunchPad 'Product of the Year." The unreleased tablet computer was, of course, promptly beset by delays, infighting and a legal dispute. Now it's been aborted by its parent.

Real-time headline-reactions: "Plane misses runway in east Congo..." Well, it happens."...landing in lava." CHRIST.

Roland Emmerich's "Apocalypse BUKKAKE" masterpiece, 2012, opened at the box office on Friday! For a movie where everyone already knows the ending—the world, it ends—it did really, really well. So did the sad movie about the sad girl.

Why does the average Park Slope parent enjoy pushing around their vulnerable young children, Daffodil and Ainsley, in a stroller that could, at any moment, chop off their tiny defenseless fingers?

A tech consultant at Cornell University somehow CCed the entire campus emails to his mistress, a Cornell staffer and fellow married person. The naughty man is in no position to be "SPANKING that FINE ASS of yours" now!

Yesterday Real Housewife of Atlanta Kim Zolciak sang her hit song "Tardy for the Party" live for the first time. It is the scariest thing to happen on television since Britney Spears crashed an burned at the VMAs. Worse even!