According to Phys.org, researchers have discovered two new species of antechinus, a marsupial whose breeding period is characterized by weeks of frenzied, 14-hour fuckfests until the males get so stressed out they literally die.

A group of men attending a bachelor party in New Mexico this week stumbled upon a mastodon skull that paleontologists say is over ten million years old.

Some people already know this; this is for the people who do not. I had been eating leftover pizza for decades before it occurred to me.

The world's thinnest glass is just two atoms thick. You can't use it for shit.

Smithsonian researchers announced the discovery of a new species today—and it's not the usual slimy earth bug! This new species is a distractingly delightful mammal with stylish fur and an energetic attitude. It's called an olinguito and according to the Smithsonian researcher who discovered the creature, "it looks kind of like a fuzzball."

Physicists at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research confirmed today that they have discovered a subatomic particle that is a crucial building block of the universe. Called a Higgs boson, this particle will help to explain what gives matter in the universe size and shape. The existence of the particle was predicted in 1964 as a component of the most widespread model of the physical universe. The particle takes its proper name from Peter Higgs, the physicist who proposed its existence, but the boson particle has been popularly nicknamed the "God particle."

We're all jealous of Kate Middleton now. The shiny hair. The castle home. But in 500 years she'll be just another monarch buried underneath a Pizza Hut parking lot, so who cares, really?

A Danish historian claims to have found a lost work by fairy tale auteur Hans Christian Andersen. The Associated Press reports Esben Brage was rifling through the belongings of wealthy Danish families at the National Archives last October when he found the six-page story, because he's retired and everyone needs a hobby.

Because sometimes life is every bit as exciting and riddled with mysteries as you had hoped it would be as a cunning, hopeful child, a man in southern England has discovered the remains of a homing pigeon carrying an encrypted message for a British intelligence agency while renovating his 17th-century fireplace. The man, David Martin, found the remains of the pigeon back in 1982 but the existence of the message remained a secret until earlier this month.

Because space is just amazing, astronomers in Hawaii announced today that they've found a planet 170 light-years away from Earth that is more than thirteen times larger than the largest planet in our solar system (that's Jupiter, for those of you just tuning in). They've also managed to take a photo of its surface, which is a fairly rare occurrence, and the rest of us get to benefit from living in the really tremendous kind of era where anyone can just look at photographs taken in outer space over lunch at our desks.

A couple in Devon, England found something way more (or, arguably, slightly less) valuable than a Kennedy half-dollar while poking around under their living room sofa recently: a 33-ft deep medieval well, filled with old peasant weapons and, most likely, magic and a passageway to times unknown.

Perhaps because they still feel bad about taking away Pluto's official planet privileges in 2006, scientists using the Hubble Telescope discovered a fifth moon orbiting the former 9th planet. The moon, creatively titled S/2012 (134340) 1, or P5, is irregular in shape and roughly 6-15 miles across.

In America, if we come across a site of historical significance, we memorialize it by transforming it into an outdoor living history space where the past comes alive or erecting a statue of Sylvester Stallone on the premises.

A team of Chinese and Canadian scientists announced on Wednesday that farmers had discovered a new species of dinosaur as big as a T-rex, covered in feathers, in a small quarry in northeast China. The dinosaurs, found in a pack of three, are the largest feathered animal ever discovered – alive or extinct.

"Researchers hoping to better understand fish distributions by recording the sounds they make have picked up something unusual: barely-audible, cricket-like noises they think could be nighttime fish farts." In Tampa Bay, as you probably guessed.

It turns out you can stumble upon Great Walls of China any old place.

A team of scientists have discovered the horrible monster bug from all New Yorkers' nightmares. The "leaproach" is a cockroach capable of sailing short distances through the air and landing, possibly, on your face:

Great strides in the field of anthropomorphically amusing animals: Among 208 new species discovered in the Mekong River region of Southeast Asia is an "Elvis monkey" that "looks like it wears a pompadour." The Elvis monkey has no nose (Michael Jackson monkey?) and lives in the Himalayan forests of Myanmar, a World Wildlife Fund report explains:

Astronomers using Hubble Space Telescope have discovered a new, 21 mile-wide moon orbiting Pluto. They're going to call it "P4" until they can come up with a better name for it.

The last time anyone saw a Sambas stream toad, also called the Bornean rainbow toad, was back in 1924 on the island of Borneo. Then last month, researchers from Sarawak Malaysia University found and photographed three of them living in trees in a remote forest on Borneo. How fascinating! And what an important discovery! But the most important question is, will licking one make you hallucinate?