· Fox entertainment president Gail Berman knows that her network is really taking it on the chin with its year-round programming schedule, but pledges that they're still committed to having their ass kicked in the name of being revolutionary. Luckily, American Idol is right around the corner to cover up some of the Nielsen bruises. [THR]
· Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh pony up some of their precious Lord of the Rings coin to buy the rights to Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones, which will keep the studio development monkeys from flinging their feces on the project at least until the script is finished.[Variety]
· Universal outbids several studios for a chance to produce The Break Up (plot top secret!), shelling out $2.25 million for the script written by Jeremy Garelick and Jay Lavender with a story by Vince Vaughn. Since no one's buying Vaughn's brain, he's attached to star in the film. [THR]
· Disney plans to go ahead with an idea for the Pixar-less Toy Story 3 idea pitched by a writer in their animation story development program. The studio has yet to decide whether to let the precocious kid write the script or crush his dreams by bringing in some high-priced talent. [THR]
· Though the Housewives themselves were at the Golden Globes, America much preferred seeing them in character on another channel, as ABC's powerhouse Sunday night demolished the awards show's ratings. [Variety]

The LAT reports that Disney president Robert Iger has the inside track to succeed CEO Michael Eisner as Rat King of the Magic Kingdom. (Assuming, of course, that Eisner doesn't decide to fill his pockets with C-4 and take his management team for "one last ride" on Space Mountain.) Iger seems to have the support of Wall Street, but some are worried that he's spent too much time servicing Eisner:

The LAT reports that the Weinstein brothers are close to finalizing their divorce with Disney, but exactly how close they are predictably depends on which side you listen to. The Miramaxies say it's all over except for the lawyer papers, but Michael Eisner's minions sound like they're not quite ready for the break-up sex:

· News Corp., in good financial shape, looks to start buying everything in sight just for shits and giggles. [THR]
· If 74-year-olds keep scoring seven-figure deals like the one Alvin Sargent just signed to write Spider-man 3, older, out-of-work writers are going to have a hell of a time suing studios for age discrimination. [Variety*]
· Afraid of the possibility that the God of the Old Testament might smite them for their sin, ABC will produce their Ten Commandments miniseries without a singing Val Kilmer. [THR]
· Hollywood Out Of Ideas, We Were Just Ahead Of Our Time Edition: Disney signs up writers Brian Klugman and Lee Sternthal for a Tron remake. [Variety*]
· Sean William Scott joins Billy Bob Thornton in the cast of the New Line comedy Mr. Woodcock. Enjoy the movie's title before it gets changed to something more palatable to red state theatregoers. [THR]

While the expected divorce of Harvey and Bob Weinstein from Disney lacks the tabloid-friendly heat of The Big Brad and Jen Break-Up, we're all still waiting for an announcement about the split. The NYT says that the separation "could come soon" (thanks for the update, guys), but things are always more complicated when kids are involved:

With the Hollywood Trial of the Century resuming for its final week, we're reminded how inhospitable the quaint Delaware town that's hosting the proceedings is to fancy Hollywood outsiders:

· The comic book fanboy rumors are true: Kate Bosworth and Kevin Spacey will play Lois Lane and Lex
Luthor in Bryan Singer's new Superman flick. That's Bosworth-Lane and Spacey-Luthor, unless Singer's really trying to shake thing up. [THR]
· Chastened by Michael Eisner's reign of terror at Disney, the company decides to keep the jobs of chairman and CEO separate. What this means to laymen: The CEO gets first choice of which character costume he gets to wear at board meetings. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· British thesp David Morrissey hops aboard Basic Instinct 2 as the psychiatrist who tries to figure out Sharon Stone's homicidal, beaver-flashing novelist. Wow, one sentence in and we've already stopped caring. [THR]
· Modest ratings gains have NBC desperately clinging to the idea that 2005 won't be as big a disaster as last year. Keep hope alive, Jeff Zucker! [THR]
· ExploitationWatch: CBS snatches up the rights to Amber Frey's Witness to develop as telepic. [Variety]

Despite a year in which Michael Eisner barely staved off a revolt by bloodthirsty shareholders desperate to mount his head on a pike outside of the Magic Kingdom and in which he had to testify in court about his doomed relationship with former "life partner" Michael Ovitz, the embattled Disney CEO did pretty well for himself. The company awarded Eisner a $7.25 million "bonus," which seems a lot like a payoff for finally getting him to announce his (eventual) resignation. Or, perhaps, it's a bribe by his number two for an implicit endorsement:

· Morris Chestnut will star in the NBC pilot Dante, which "revolves around the life and family of a football superstar who has an extra-large sense of entitlement and often is out of touch with reality," and seemingly based on a character from a Budweiser commercial. If they wanted to steal from beer commercials, why can't we have 22 minutes of those two chicks catfighting in bikinis? Or those "Wassssup?" guys. We kinda miss them. [THR]
· Chicago film critics lay down in front of the Sideways steamroller. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Disney settles with the SEC for failing to disclose the "lucrative relationships" that the company had with relatives of board members. Oopsies! Were they supposed to let shareholders know they were hiring family members? [THR]
· Showtime euthanizes Dead Like Me after two seasons, but signs up a TV version of Barbershop. We think it's so adorable that Showtime keeps trying to make its own shows, but they should probably stick with their winning formula of hot gays and lesbians. [Variety]
· CBS quite logically selects the Irish Jonathan Rhys-Meyers to play Irish folk music icon Elvis Presley in a miniseries. [Variety]

We knew that Disney's diabolical marketing plan to drape the homeless in The Incredibles gear was going to catch on. In fact, it seems to be an ongoing effort. A reader spotted another human billboard earlier in the week:

A reader notices what could be a brilliant breakthrough in movie marketing by the folks at Disney, who are apparently thinking out of the box...the cardboard box:

During the course of The Hollywood Trial of the Century, erstwhile superagent and Disney president-for-a-day Michael Ovitz has been called a "psychopath," a "total failure" who couldn't even lie properly, and a "cancer." With the trial winding down as we approach the holidays, the LAW's Nikki Finke piles on by pointing crotchward at Ovitz and snickering:

· The latest on Miramax vs. Disney: In an SEC filing, Disney ominously states that production of Miramax projects may be "abandoned or otherwise impaired" after their deal with the Weinsteins expires. This is the closest Michael Eisner can get to threatening to kill Harvey Weinstein's children. [Variety, sub. req'd.]
· Hilary Swank gets the "femme fatale" role in the Brian DePalma adaptation of the James Ellroy novel The Black Dahlia. DePalma will now have to try and find a way to butch her up a little and put her right back in Oscar contention. [Variety]
· No matter how hard we close our eyes and wish for Brett Ratner to disappear, he stubbornly continues to show up in the trades. Robin Tunney signs up for Ratner's Fox drama Prison Break.[THR]
· NY Film Critics Circle jumps on the Sideways bandwagon. When will these critics stop blindly rewarding excellence, just like the Academy voters did years ago? [THR]
· NBC Universal Television pretends to humor Will & Grace star Eric McCormack's producing aspirations, sets up a shingle for him with offices across from the CBS Radford lot. How long will it take McCormack to figure out NBC provided him with cardboard prop computers from Ikea and Fisher Price telephones? [Variety]

With the "psychopath" epithet tossed into the fray early in testimony at The Hollywood Trial of the Century, we knew that it wouldn't be long before someone laid the "cancer" metaphor at Michael Ovitz's feet. Today's testimony, however, contained a much more interesting image courtesy of a former Disney director:

The Hollywood Reporter has released its annual "Women in Entertainment Power 100" list, an event that momentarily sates the industry's appetite for numerical rankings of influence while subtly reinforcing Hollywood's cherished glass ceiling. In THR's estimation, 2005's most powerful lady is Anne Sweeney, an executive who's come a long way, baby, from a Good Morning America page to co-chairman (ahem, chairwoman, THR?) of Disney Media Networks. Congratulations, Anne, etc etc. We're getting a little misty for the old days, when our girl would bring us a pipin' hot cup o' joe as we read Variety's "Top Ten Dames from the MGM Typing Pool We'd Like To Bang in 1943."

Some little animated birdies told us that Disney and Pixar are about to announce that they're pushing back Cars, the last movie in their current deal, from the 2005 holiday season to the summer of 2006. Said birdies also note the movie's production will still be wrapped in time for the original release. Are the Pixar folks simply tired of taking all of the holiday animation dollars, and are looking for a season where they can vacuum up even more box office cash before marching their DVD armies through at Christmastime? Is Disney stalling to prolong their association with the Pixar money machine? Has Michael Eisner worked a secret side deal with Steve Jobs to digitize him into a Disney mainframe so that he can control the Mickey Mouse Empire FOREVER, unless he's erased by a ragtag team of hackers, moments before he engineers a massive crash at Space Mountain? We really hope the press release addresses that last question. We've already lost interest in the Cars story.