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Jersey Shore: Guidos in the Wilderness

Brian Moylan · 03/09/12 02:30PM

During the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we've seen our eight subjects in their natural habitat in New Jersey, in their adopted homes of Miami and Florence, but never have we seen them actually interact with, you know, nature. There is a reason for that.

Jersey Shore: The End of Smush

Brian Moylan · 03/02/12 02:30PM

Something serious and sad is threatening the greatest sociological experiment of our time: couples. Yes, it seems like everyone is paired up and Snooki is even expecting Jersey Shore's first virgin birth. Haha. Just kidding. Snooki's no virgin. And Situation got Vinny pregnant when he touched the smush bed anyway. That was the first.

Jersey Shore: Lost at Sea

Brian Moylan · 02/24/12 02:18PM

Finally, the members of the greatest sociological experiment of our time forage for their own food, and they promptly caught crabs. No, the actual crustaceans. They did not contract a horrible case of pubic lice, though they did make lots of jokes about it. The guidos never change.

Jersey Shore: Peace and Cake

Brian Moylan · 02/17/12 02:07PM

Yes the major event of the most important sociological experiment of our time had to do with cake. Who ate the cake? Remember when our subjects used to crawl in the hot tub and vomit on themselves?

Jersey Shore: Meatballs on the Run

Brian Moylan · 02/10/12 12:52PM

The favorite food of many people who enjoy the greatest sociological experiment of our time is, of course, a meatball sandwich. We love when Snooki and Deena get together, even if what they're doing is stupid, immature, and somewhat immoral.

Jersey Shore: The Tangled Web We Weave

Brian Moylan · 01/20/12 01:38PM

Oh the harm that can befall a guidette during the greatest sociological experiment of our time. Sure she can't be sullied by reputation, but there are still horrible fates than can befall her, like the intractable tangle of her weave. And that was just the start of last night's disasters.

Jersey Shore: Melancholy and the Vin-finite Sadness

Brian Moylan · 01/13/12 02:20PM

Last night during the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we had to deal with the most threatening psychological illness of our time: anxiety. Yes, Vinny, of the carefree manner and enormous schlong, was dealing with a crippling case of ennui.

Kim Kardashian Scraps Christmas Cards Featuring Her Wedding Photo

Brian Moylan · 11/22/11 12:11PM

Just like everything else about her nuptials, it seems like Kim Kardashian jumped the gun ordering her holiday cards with her wedding photo on them. Kristen Wiig is hanging out in her undies. Katy Perry is not pregnant. Paz de la Huerta ruined the ending of Boardwalk Empire. Tuesday's gossip has been known to make mistakes.

Jersey Shore: Ciao for Now

Brian Moylan · 10/21/11 12:59PM

The last episode of any chapter of Jersey Shore, the greatest sociological experiment of our time, is always a little bit sad. It's so hard to see these guys go, but this time, it was all a bit strange as we looked toward the future and tried to make reparations for the past.

Jersey Shore: Guido Overload

Brian Moylan · 09/09/11 01:20PM

Taking the eight guidos from Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, to Italy was supposed to get them in touch with their roots—to give them a sense of their place in the universe. Instead, it only created so many monsters.

Jersey Shore in Italy Is Awesomely Grotesque

Brian Moylan · 07/19/11 11:46AM

Finally, we get a glimpse of all the death and destruction the guidos of Jersey Shore bring to Florence for their fourth season. It's like the Fellini movie that we always wanted. It's time to get excited, everyone!

DJ Paulie D Sued for $4 Million for Trademark Infringement

Brian Moylan · 07/01/11 02:10PM

DJ Paulie Lis filed a suit in a Hartford court looking for $4 million dollars in damages because he says his DJ business and copyrighted name "DJ Paulie" have been rendered valueless ever since Jersey Shore's DJ Paulie Destruction came onto the scene. Turf war!

Jersey Shore: The End of the Affair

Brian Moylan · 03/25/11 01:05PM

Everything must eventually end and—like sucking the lemon, disposing the condom, or unclogging the toilet—the final transmission of Jersey Shore was the final gesture of the greatest sociological experiment of our time.

Jersey Shore: The Return of 'Done'

Brian Moylan · 03/18/11 12:33PM

As our subjects in the most important sociological experiment of our time get close to the end of their summer, they start to fall into old patterns and must face their oldest and deadliest villains. Oh, and Sammi said "done" again. The apocalypse is nigh.

Jersey Shore: The Dog Days of Summer

Brian Moylan · 03/11/11 01:48PM

As the season wears on in Seaside Heights, the eight subjects in what is and forever shall be the most important sociological experiment of our time grow listless. Their behavior becomes simultaneously erratic and monotonous. Then the same torturous storyline comes along again to fill up the tedium.

Jersey Shore: Toilet Bowl of Terror

Brian Moylan · 03/04/11 02:00PM

Sometimes Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, is all about shit. Not the normal shit about Sammi and Ronnie breaking up, Snooki getting wasted, and The Situation hooking up with some girl that smells like cheese. It is about actual, literal shit.

Jersey Shore: Snookus Interruptus

Brian Moylan · 02/18/11 02:04PM

Now that Ronnie and Sammi are broken up, we can return to the fun and frivolity of Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time. Between the clogged toilets, the soiled panties, and the return of old foes, there was a lot going on.

Jersey Shore: The Greatest American Tragedy

Brian Moylan · 02/11/11 01:48PM

Like the finale of one of Tennessee Williams's lesser plays, the scenes of Jersey Shore, played out like a delirious tragedy rather than the greatest sociological experiment of our time. Naturally it all had to do with Sammi and Ronnie and their continued violent love battle.