Dog the Bounty Hunter told FOX411 that he would not be going after El Chapo, the escaped Sinaloa cartel kingpin for whose capture the Mexican government has offered a $3.8 million reward. “He probably would be out of my league,” Dog, whose legal name is Duane Chapman, said.

Mixed martial arts fighter Jon "War Machine" Koppenhaver is wanted by Las Vegas police after his ex-girlfriend, porn star Christy Mack, accused him of beating her and posted photos of her severe injuries. Dog the Bounty Hunter, a television personality seemingly unrelated to the case, has threatened to hunt Koppenhaver down.

In a gross play for publicity, Duane Chapman, better known as Dog the Bounty Hunter, announced he would hunt down a mixed martial arts fighter accused of beating his girlfriend this weekend. In other news, a Dog the Bounty Hunter show is apparently still on TV.

A&E has decided not to renew its signature docu-reality series Dog the Bounty Hunter, canceling the show after eight seasons on the air.

Jenny McCarthy has a new boyfriend! David Beckham gets sued. Britney Spears gets neck tattoos. Dog the Bounty hunter goes to the ER. And a mysterious woman tries to make out with Josh Duhamel. Sunday Gossip Roundup: Experience it it.

Grizzled old man Duane "Dog" Chapman and his wife, Beth, stopped by The Joy Behar Show tonight to talk about his new book. After espousing their religious values, they cited their hair as a reason they are popular. Ugh.

Hoping to salvage a reputation damaged by the emergence of an audio recording in which he repeatedly detailed his racial preference for potential daughters-in-law, Dog the Bounty Hunter threw himself into the bony embrace of CNN softballer Larry King last night, trusting that the hurt he's feeling would dissipate to near nothingness by the end of the first commercial break.

Yesterday, we noted that a controversial recording had surfaced, featuring Dog the Bounty Hunter railing against his son for dating an African-American woman in a despicable, racist rant that fell just short of tearfully demanding, "Why, just once, can't you bring home a nice, Jewish bounty hunter girl I can take to dinner at my producer's house?" In case you haven't yet heard it, TMZ TV helpfully transcribes the contents of the offensive phone call; simply follow the bouncing, sunglass-wearing KKK hood and swear along to your favorite bigoted reality TV star!

It seems not a season can pass without at least one foul-mouthed, racist celebrity tirade rearing its ugly head, and we suppose Dog the Bounty Hunter would seem as good a candidate as any for the latest iteration. For one thing, his name is Dog. Furthermore, the guy's a bounty hunter. In an n-word splattered audio recording obtained by The National Enquirer, Dog forbids his son from dating an African-American woman for the rather curious and self-fulfilling logic that it will force him to utter the n-word more often—that's just the way he refers to African-Americans, you see—and that might eventually find its way into "the Enquirer magazine," ultimately putting the cuddly bounty hunting persona he's worked so hard to cultivate in jeopardy.