When Facebook was only 6 percent as popular as it is today, CEO Mark Zuckerberg wanted to upgrade his personal operating system with leadership features. So Earth's richest cylon decided to shadow his human friend and mentor, Washington Post CEO Donald Graham.

Newsweek—though financially ruined—had quite a few suitors for her attention. But her father, Donald Graham, won't let her just run off with any old fast fella with cash and flash. He's finding her a nice, old, upstanding buyer.

The Washington Post ran a de facto Facebook press release in its op-ed section today. It was a bizarre decision; the newspaper's already embroiled in one ethics scandal, so why cuddle up to a close, public friend of the paper?

When the Washington Post company posted a horrendous 16% profit loss in the first quarter, the given rationale was that the D.C. real estate market was crappy and thusly real estate ad revenue had plummeted. But the bleak outlook of the Post didn't deter owner Donald Graham from dropping $4.65 million on a Central Park West apartment. As the Observer reports, one-time D.C. cop Graham and his wifey, Mary purchased the "six-and-a-half-room, 2,000-square-foot co-op" "pied-a-terre" but haven't told their Washington cronies.

• Washington Post: "The best-run newspaper company in America because [Donald Graham] is head and shoulders the best newspaper executive in America." [NYT]