The Today Show discussed "sugar babies" today, young hotties who date rich old guys for money. Rich old guy Donny Deutsch is in favor of the phenomenon. His impassioned defense transforms Star Jones into a kettle of boiling water, steaming and screaming in horror.

Donny Deutsch, the narcissistic ad man and Douche of the Decade candidate who you just can't get away from on TV, has a new show coming on Bravo that casts him as a "relationship expert." Sure, why not? [via Adfreak]

Who: The brash, often obnoxious chairman of the advertising agency founded by his dad, Deutsch is an inescapable media presence these days: He's a talking head on MSNBC, the former host of CNBC's The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, and a bestselling author.

The Way We Live Now: feelin' the blues. Readin' the news. Payin' our dues. Stealing minor items just to score a few bucks and looking with revulsion at the excesses of the rich. Specifically, Donny Deutsch.

Donny Deutsch is apparently a muscular man, and wants the world to know. He might also be interested in wooing Mika.

It's been more than a month and half since Donny Deutsch got booted from his 3 p.m. guest-hosting spot on MSNBC because of a segment that likened Keith Olbermann to "angry" conservative anchors like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. But it looks like Deutsch and the network are at peace.

Last month, Donny Deutsch called Keith Olbermann 'angry' during his week-long stint as an MSNBC anchor. This enraged Olbermann, and MSNBC suits cut Deutsch's gig short. Today, Deutsch gave a commencement speech at Syracuse. He's still a little upset.

Donny Deutsch got a weeklong anchor slot on MSNBC. He did a segment about angry TV pundithosts (click to watch). One of those featured was fellow MSNBCer Keith Olbermann. Now, Donny's been dumped from his gig. Why?

Douchebag Advertising genius Donny Deutsch says it didn't "make sense" for Mancrunch.com to try to buy a Super Bowl ad, because, come on, how many gays would be watching football? Eh? Castigat ridendo mores, Donny Deutsch. [Agency Spy]

This has been the Decade of the Douchebag. There's no denying it. Though we've retired the term, we're bringing it back to identify the douche who was the douchiest. You get the chance to pick our winner.

Give Joe Biden a high five. The Vice President of the United States turns 67 today. (Let's all hope he gets through the day without any more accidents.) The oldest member of Congress, Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia, turns 92 today. Former U.S. ambassador to the U.N. John Bolton is 61. Mike D of the Beastie Boys turns 44. Joel McHale of The Soup and Community is turning 38. Pat Kiernan of NY1 is turning 41. Actress Sean Young is 50. Bo Derek turns 53. Author Don DeLillo is turning 73. TV anchor Judy Woodruff turns 63. Avant-garde performer Meredith Monk is 67. Tween star Cody Linley turns 20. Former Eagles member Joe Walsh is turning 62. And Mark Gastineau, the retired football star and father of Brittny, is 53. Below: A few folks celebrating birthdays this weekend, including Scarlett Johansson and Tina Brown.

Bronzed god Donny Deutsch would like to take Sarah Palin on a date. After the date he would like to bone her, marry her, and rule the nation together from atop a gleaming pile of salmon.

Ad mogul and fill-in MSNBC anchor Donny Deutsch thinks it's a totally super idea to ship New York's homeless population to far-flung places! At least that's what he said under his breath today as the cable network went to commercial break. His reaction probably won't come as much of a surprise, of course. But prepare yourself for the news that Deutsch's worked out a marketing deal to make JetBlue the official airline of New York City's unwanted masses. It's bound to happen sooner or later. The clip is below.

Donny Deutsch was filling in for David Shuster on MSNBC today when his coworkers decided to humiliate the ad man and failed CNBC host on-air with that 1983 picture of him in a speedo. Excellent!

In your woozy Tuesday media column: MSNBC pulls in the crazies for airtime, Gallant former journo beats Goofus current journo, NYT family members catch the swine flu, and the LA Times is all fucked up.

The 10th annual Love Heals charity event, which benefits the Alison Gertz Foundation for AIDS Education, took place on Saturday night. Originally scheduled for Luna Farm in Sagaponack, the event had to be moved to Polish Hall in Southampton due to the never-ending rain. But the downpour didn't stop fearless reporter Douglas Marshall from catching up with Donny Deutsch about both the gloomy weather and gloomy economy:

Tom Hanks was honored with the Chaplin Award at the at the 36th annual Film Society of Lincoln Center Gala Tribute last night, where he was joined by an A-list crowd including Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Charlize Theron, Sally Field, Glenn Close, Adrien Brody, Mike Nichols, Graydon Carter, Sam Mendes, Christopher Walken, Christy Turlington and Ed Burns, Christie Brinkley, Lorne Michaels, Jeff Zucker, Nora Ephron and Nick Pileggi, David Gregory, Joy and Regis Philbin, John Patrick Shanley, Bruce Springsteen, Ninah and Michael Lynne, Leslie and Robert Zemeckis, Roger Waters, Jonathan Demme, Jeremy Irons, Abby McGrew and Eli Manning, Ken Burns, Nigel Barker, Rob Wiesenthal, and Gillian and Sylvester Miniter, along with Tom's wife Rita Wilson and son Colin Hanks. [PMc, Wireimage, FWD, USA Today, People]

Since you were wondering, here's an update on douchebag ad man and former CNBC host Donny Deutsch's love life: that other guy's wife is now Donny's girlfriend, okay.

• Poor Gwynnie will have to brave V-Day alone, since Chris Martin's on tour and she's not sure what continent he's on. [NYDN]
• Chris Brown left Las Vegas yesterday, where he'd been holed up at the Hard Rock. He also updated his Facebook page, changing his status to single and writing, "You'll begin to see her true colors. Believe it!" [NYP, E!]
• Jesus Luz, Madonna's 22-year-old "special friend," is now into Kabbalah. [P6]
• Joaquin Phoenix is still running around town acting crazy; it's still unclear if he's drugged out of his mind or if it's just a big hoax. [NYDN]

What's stupider than debating Wall Street bankers' bonuses? Using obscenities on live television while debating them! That's what Charlie Gasparino, CNBC's lovably loudmouthed on-air commentator did. Click for the clip and transcript.