Tim Hortons, the Canadian coffee-and-doughnut restaurant that recently agreed to be bought by America's third-or-fourth-greatest burger chain, Burger King, has revealed their first attempt in assimilating into our brilliant American culture by imagineering the Buffalo Crunch doughnut. Give me a fuckin break!!!

A man who participated in an anti-crime, police-sponsored doughnut-eating contest in North Carolina on Wednesday was arrested only a day later, officers say, when they realized he had been wanted in two suspected break-ins.

"Birds should not have to suffer for donuts." So argues vegan blogger Annie Hartnett, who has penned a petition protesting a menu offering at Brooklyn's Do or Dine restaurant: the foie gras doughnut, a high-end dessert running $11 per fatted-goose-liver-filled fritter. (To be clear, Do or Dine don't claim to have invented the foie gras doughnut, which has been popping up on restaurant menus around the country for several years.)

After Casey Anthony was found not guilty of murdering her daughter, #notguilty trended on Twitter. Convenience store pastry provider Entenmann's added its two cents: "Who's #notguilty of eating all the treats they want?!"