Knowing what we do about Matt Drudge, none of us should be surprised that this Anderson Cooper item is receiving top placement on the Drudge Report. In Matty's world, elections and Euroriots don't hold a candle to a handsome gay icon talking about his special sauce.
• Chelsea's tony London Terrace towers bans "making out" in the residence's pool or health club facilities. Apparently, this also means no sex with homeless men in the locker room. Absurd: It's as if management doesn't even know what neighborhood they're in! [NYDN]6;
• If the devil isn't wearing Prada, she opts for Bill Blass. [WWD]
• Dangerous street gangs shoplift diabetes test strips! [NYT]
• Is the NYC Marathon just one big excuse to piss in public? [Daily Slope]
• Voice gossipette Michael Musto lays down the law: "I swear on my obsolete Uggs that dumb blonds are, like, officially over. It's just not cute anymore to watch people who, thanks to raging insecurity issues, insist on being both stick-thin (because they want to look "good") and camera-hoggingly self-humiliating." But that's not really fair, we think. To be humiliated requires a degree of self-awareness — which is simply not the case with these girls. [VV]
• Mapping Billy Bob Thorton's NYC hookup route. [HotelChatter]
• It's the Webby Awards list of the Top 10 most influential internerd moments; having nailed the number two spot, rest assured Drudge will spend most of his night engaging in celebratory masturbation. [AFP/Yahoo]
Oh, fuck you, Matt Drudge — piquing our bloodlust so early in the morning, just to cruelly turn on us and make it about newspapers. Leave it to the internet's top druid to take a story about dropping print circulation and liken it to media genocide.
A killer tornado hits the American heartland! Deadliest to hit Indiana in three decades! Destruction! Horrible loss, with horrible pictures! What could possibly top that as the lead Drudge story of the day?
You have to love that the Drudge Report, that bellwether of breaking, right-leaning news and weather phenomena, has an exclusive report about last night's MTV Europe Music Awards. How, you might ask, does a report on a ho-hum Madonna performance for her masters at MTV fit into Matt Drudge's beat? Very easily:
And on the seventh day, Drudge discovered Microsoft Word Art.
The bad news is our gag reflex isn't what it used to be, but the good news is bile is kosher so we totally just swallowed it back down (give it up for blessed vomit — challah!).
And, in related news: Puppet cheese accordion sculpture dove blue octahedral droppings, though peaceful consented rigidity bartering smell.
Oh, sweet Jesus. Not that, anything but that! HARRIET MIERS ISN'T COMPLETELY EVIL AND OMG SHE RESPECTS HUMAN BEINGS AND IT'S ALL OVER IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD WHATEVER WILL WE DO NOW AND OH IT BURNS, IT BURNS...
Well, it's not like Drudge would know a stunning cunt when he saw one.
And in that respect, Men's Vogue is about the challenge. Don't be embarrassed; reading it is meant to be hard.
• During these days of the real estate bubble, the streets are paved with Barbara Corcoran's mid-year report. Heady times, man. [Curbed]
• The Delancey Street F-stop, where phonetic spelling lives long and proud. [m3ntal contraband]
• As if the prevalence of Hummers in suburbia weren't nauseating enough, it's time for the H2 cologne. [Jalopnik]
• Local TV newsman Arthur Chi'en has a new job, now at WPIX. So fuck you, CBS. [B&C]
• If you email your thesis to Matt Drudge, just make sure it's good. [Moe Golden]
• Summer means many things to many people, but to Gawker alum Choire Sicha, it means jerking off in a baseball cap and getting spanked. [TMN]
With utter disregard for real news or succinct headlines.
Apropos absolutely nothing, Gawker is happy to present the Quotable Matt Drudge, sure to find its way into Bartlett's before long. Enjoy.
• If you've tried watching Al Gore's Current television network, you already know that there's about 6 billion things wrong with it. This, however, is a more concise summary. [ChiTrib]
• Being Matt Drudge is hard, okay? The man has a lot to do, you know, so give him a break for thinking this rather old magazine cover is brand new. When he sees his name in print, he blacks out with glee and you just can't expect accuracy during such a time. So lay off. [Drudge Report]
• If you're not following Curbed's saga of the hell that is renting an apartment in New York, you should be. [Curbed]
• A lovely argument in favor of plagiarism in higher education. Let's see how long it take some wiseguy to pass it off as a final essay for Intro to Ethics 101. [TMN]
• NYU now has the fastest supercomputer in the city. And no, it's not a Mac, dorks. [Marketwire]
• Next up, the Economist's Cancun Getaway and Wet T-Shirt championship. Funny 'cause it's probably true. [Wonkette]
• Teen People goes for a fashion shoot with American Idol winner Carrie Underwood, fails miserably. [Go Fug Yourself]
You know he dug up that baby all by himself.
A GMA exec was displeased to discover some dog doo in a conference room last week, and she subsequently sent an email reminding staff that their pets belong at home, reports ol' Drudgie. He adds:
jessicagawker: Hi! Sorry to bother; I'm sure you're still drunk after last night's revelry.
jessicagawker: John G. Roberts, Jr. is soooooo cute, right?!
jessicagawker: Seriously, you must be thrilled. He's like a conservative John Edwards — you couldn't ask for more.
jessicagawker: Oh, lighten up. I'm not suggesting that you touch yourself when you post pictures of him. I'm just making girl talk.
jessicagawker: Oooh! You've put up pictures of soldiers again — and they're Chinese? You're definitely worked up about something.
