The hideous waking nightmare of Hoboken, New Jersey's day-long St. Patrick's Day Bar Crawl was briefly interrupted on Saturday night when a homeless man set himself on fire in the middle of a street, NJ.com reports.

Arlene's Grocery is a longstanding Manhattan music venue that hosts a variety of rock and punk acts from around the country. It's also the employer of a "Hawaiian Asian monster," according to this tipster-supplied voicemail from an extremely shitfaced patron with a very important husband.

A 45-year-old British man pleaded guilty to indecent exposure and abusive behavior after he was caught drunkenly making sexual advances toward "a postbox in the middle of a shopping arcade."

Atlanta's Rock 101.5 morning show visited Monster Jam 2015 to do some serious reporting and get to the heart of what monster truck racing is all about. Fortunately, they found a fantastically drunk source from Rabun County, Ga. (where Deliverance was filmed, y'all) to explain it to them.

A Vermont woman and candidate for mother of the year was discovered by cops in Brattleboro parked in the middle of the road with her child in the driver's seat of the car. Cops arrested her for being drunk and also endangering her child.

The guy who filmed NYU student Gerry Shalam claiming to be the heir to "half of fucking Manhattan" continues to nurse a raging hate-boner for Pranna, the popular brunch spot where Shalam and his friends allegedly got drunk. He's posted two new supercuts of wasted Pranna brunchers that indicate The Heir was less an isolated incident and more a symptom of an ongoing shitshow.

So there was this girl that I went to high school with, and basically she was/is a homophobic, mouth breathing waste of space that made my life at the time rather miserable. Anywho, recently I was on Grindr (like half my day at work) and I happened upon her still rather handsome/DILF-esque father. I messaged him and we struck up a conversation, although it's pretty obvious he has no idea who I am (though to tell the truth I have been a bit vague about some of the facts). I'm considering banging him, and then disclosing said banging to a few select individuals, knowing it would make its way back to her. Is that okay?

Though most of us look to March for confirmation that spring is arriving, a select few use it as a reminder to get drunker than ever before. At the University of Amherst, the yearly "Blarney Blowout" was interrupted when law enforcement intervened, arresting 73 drunks, with 4 officers injured in the process.

In need of a hangover cure? Try greasy breakfast food, wheatgrass, Pedialyte, exercise, Alka-Seltzer, Netflix, sleeping all day, crying in the shower, or Sprite. And next year, try a little self control.

Friends who drink together stay together, especially if one of those friends is a New Jersey woman picked up for DUI. On Thursday night, Readington Township police announced the arrest of 34-year-old Carmen Reategui, as well as two loyal and stupid friends.

For whatever reason, this video of an apparently sloshed Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry performing Boyz II Men karaoke staple "I'll Make Love to You" at a friend's birthday in December 2008 surfaced on the Internet today, nearly five years later. The performance is pretty atrocious (also entertaining in the way closed circuit video of drunk celebrities crawling into one another's laps can't help but be), but, then, neither of them is known for being a particularly good singer.

According to a new survey, 20 percent of adults living in New York City are binge drinkers.

Nerd Broville, a mesh-shorted seaside town with Call of Duty casinos and a high-speed party monorail, has a new Mayor. His name is Christian Reed, he's a member of MIT's Phi Beta Epsilon fraternity, and he has solved a problem that's plagued nerd bros for eons: the sticky balls (heh) and constant spillage (heh heh) that come along with those long, arduous nights of Olympic beer-pong feats.

Monday was not the best day of David Marshall's life. By six p.m., the 38-year-old from Jonesboro, Arkansas was so obliterated that he'd passed out in an apartment-complex parking lot and the neighbors had to call the cops. This was not a good reason to smile. So what was?

According to a new report released Thursday, The Traffic Injury Research Foundation (TIRF) reports that female DUI arrests have risen 28.8% between 1998 and 2007. In 2011, FBI statistics show that nearly 25% of drunk drivers arrested in the United States were women, whereas in 1980 that number was just 9.8%.

Happy four-day-weekend y'all. Six of eight drivers involved in an eight-car pileup in Atlanta this morning are being charged with DUIs after the crash. The first car struck a pedestrian (who is being charged with walking in a roadway), but thankfully there were no fatalities.

Drunk people are good at lots of things. They are good at ordering drinks. They are good at cajoling other drunk people into dares. They are good at chasing adventure. They are good at combining all three of these talents to work in frenetic, exciting concert. They are less good at piloting helicopters.

In 1956, a drunken patron at a Manhattan bar departed to New Jersey, stole an airplane, flew it to New York City, and landed it in front of the bar on St. Nicholas Ave. He was fined $100. Two years later, he did it again.

From the 21-year-old drinking age to the .08% blood alcohol level now recognized nationwide as evidence of being drunk, the threat of losing federal highway funds has kept America's states from straying on booze laws. So get ready for the .05% drunken driving conviction.

The childlike joy of America's Free Comic Book Day became a violent drama of assault and police firing taser guns when two costumed characters were attacked by a 300-pound drunken monster outside a comics shop in Portland, Maine, on Saturday.