The online ecophages known as Minions have already conquered the internet, much of Iraq and death itself. Now, it seems, they are finally coming for the rest of the world, starting with Ireland.

A two-foot-wide, six-foot-deep sinkhole appeared on the surface of Dublin's Dame Street this week, stopping traffic on the busy thoroughfare. The reason, according to one historian, may have to do with 200-year-old politicians who plunged incredible depths in a quest to get their antique rocks off.

In Belfast the other day, a tween boy burst into tears after achieving the dream of his young life: Going onstage with Nicki Minaj. Nicki, who is a benevolent goddess to her Barbz and is consistently awkward and hilarious around children, clutched the crying boy to her ample bosom and lo, he was healed.

Club Organizers for the C U Next Tuesday Club in Dublin, Ireland had a great, though unoriginal idea. They asked club-goers to pose for a photo, but instead of capturing a single shot, the photographer took video of the young people strategically posing. The embarrassing footage was then pieced together into a montage set to Carly Simon's "You're So Vain." And yeah, some of these very attractive fuckers are real vain.

Someone was clearly attempting some sort of political statement by posting signs around Dublin, Ireland, "reminding" residents to celebrate "National Smack a Bum Day" on November 15th.

Daniel Radcliffe, The Boy Who Lived and Starred in the Harry Potter Movies, partied with some Irish Gaelic Football (soccer) players. And thanks to the miracle of Brit slang, we can say he "had a magical night on the piss."

A Dublin bar has begun hosting Friday-night "Underwear Amnesty" parties at which patrons can trade in their underpants for "free" alcoholic beverages. Great idea, right? Not according to the many people who say it's "insensitive," given that a rape allegedly occurred at the bar only a few months ago.

Here's video of Barack Obama's bullet-proof limo getting stuck on the curb outside the U.S. embassy in Dublin, Ireland where he's starting his six-day trip to Europe. Obama was probably in the back going "Gun it! Let's jump this mutha!" (Or, maybe that was just the spare limo.)

Three employees have been suspended from accounting firm Pricewaterhouse Coopers for circulating that email ranking the "Top 10" attractive women in the Dublin office. Now another firm, KPMG, might be facing a similar scandal. Who knew accountants were so naughty?

It was a crime of infinite ridiculousness: Dressed in a sumo wrestling suit, Sandra Talbot assaulted her ex-girlfriend with her own girth and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, vengeance for flirting with a man dressed as giant Snickers bar.