When Uniontown, Pa., police arrived at the scene of a pizza shop robbery, their primary suspect denied he was at fault. Eric Frey said someone else forced him at gunpoint to write a stickup note on a piece of toilet paper—"I have a gun. Give me $300."—and hand it to the cashier at Michael Maria's Pizza.

An Alabama man suspects that the burglars who broke into his house also tried to smoke his dead wife's ashes in a failed attempt to get high.

Nefarious Londoner Amir Ali used a petrol bomb to destroy a pub, then turned around and ran face-first into a lamppost. Here's security camera footage of the violent criminal looking like a total dum-dum.

Twenty year-old Jennifer Mercado was a juror on a credit card thief's case. So she stole a fellow juror's credit card. And used it on her lunch hour. And came back to court with the stuff she bought. Winner. [NYDN]