Simon Johnson was the top economist at the International Monetary Fund for a while, so he definitely knows what it looks like when plutocrats destroy an economy. He's written a lengthy Atlantic story on how we are all fucked.

Every day, another paper prints a column from doom-saying party-animal economist Nouriel Roubini. Today he's in the Daily News and—siren.gif!—he has cautious praise for Tim Geithner!

It's not just real estate and jewelry that's getting sold off amid the downturn. New Yorkers are selling off their genetic assets these days, too. Reps at the Sperm Bank of New York say there's been as much as a 25 percent increase in applications since December, while a local fertility center claims the number of women looking to sell their eggs—for a $10,000 payday—has doubled. Do note, though, that the centers say applicants are put through a "battery of screenings" to rule out anyone suffering from "economically induced stress." So if you've been reduced to ejaculating into a cup for cash, try and put on a brave face and not look too depressed about it. [AMNY]

Did you hear about the financial crisis? Popular Canadian songsmith Neil Young did! Let us take a quick look at his reaction to this unprecedented economic situation: a song called "Cough Up the Bucks."

How in the world can you make an online news site full of foreign coverage profitable these days? With gimmicks! How would you like to speak to a real live reporter, on the telephone?

Whatttttttt...a private equity firm has voluntarily purchased a newspaper—presumably in exchange for money! The San Diego Union-Tribune is now owned by a firm that vows to make it "thrive" once more. Sounds fun!

Millionaire Japanese pop artist Yoshitomo Nara was arrested by the NYPD this week for drawing on a subway wall. Other "victims" of his precious vandalism took the opposite approach:

Everybody (especially us!) loves chastising the rich for all their, you know, spending of money. Well the joke's on us, because rich people buying shit is the only hope for our economy. Spend, fuckers!

Doom-saying party-animal economist Nouriel Roubini has an op-ed in this Sunday's Washington Post and he's contributing to Forbes—when will he start live-Tweeting the apocalyptic economic collapse he's still predicting?

Conservative columnist and former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan noticed some things. The Upper East Side was empty, like in a Will Smith movie, but because of the recession, and not because of vampire zombies.

Is the bad economy a turn-on, or a turn-off? With a fake recession trend story, either can be true! Just study this easy guide to manufacturing trends in these tough times. Everybody's doing it:

You know the old joke about how a recession doesn't turn into a depression until an economist loses his job? Economists are losing their jobs. Run for the hills!

For a president elected on a platform of hope, Barack Obama sure knows how to throw around the doom and gloom when he wants to rise above the trifles of the Beltway political game.

The Wall Street Journal will never be such a toy to Rupert Murdoch as the mogul's cash-bleeding, score-settling New York Post. But at the moment it does seem an indulgence.

Mickey Kaus seems to think that the fact that HuffPo's unpaid contributors and underpaid staffers aren't unionized is proof that unions are Bad and Don't Work and are Bad for America.

When did the stimulus debate become about Rush Limbaugh? Seriously? This is a failure on everyone's part.

Congressional Quarterly is profitable. The company that owns it also owns the St. Petersburg Times, which is less (or un-)profitable. So the company is selling CQ to shore up the declining paper. Is that bad?

The World Economic Forum kicks off tomorrow in Davos, Switzerland, but it won't be nearly as exciting as in years past: The financial crisis has led many CEOs and politicians to abandon plans to attend the conference of heavy-hitters. Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein won't be there, although he's reportedly sending "his deputy." Former Lehman CEO Dick Fuld won't be there, of course. Nor will John Thain, who, rather ironically, was scheduled to participate on a panel entitled "The Bank of the Future." And while Citigroup is still sending five executives, the bank's chief, Vikram Pandit, isn't one of them. (Citi isn't sending a "support staff" this year either, which means the execs who do make the trip may be forced to carry their own briefcases and fill up their own glasses of water.) Worst of all? There won't be too many celebs on hand to divert attention away from the depressing, gloomy discussions of economic doom.

Good luck, Michelle Obama. It's not enough to be reminiscent of Jackie Kennedy; now you have to sell clothes like her, except in a huge recession.

Good morning sunshine! It's January, which means the horrible media advertising apocalypse has now begun. But not to worry, media lovers; it's only affecting every famous book, magazine, and newspaper publisher: