Update: After a very well-written critique, the headline has been updated to reflect the stadium is in Pontiac, not Detroit.

The economy created 78,000 more jobs than expected last month, and the unemployment level is down to 6.3 percent! Naturally, job-creators reacted by panicking over their future profits and fueling a stock selloff this morning.

How did the American banking industry escape the crash of 2008 with so few scrapes and bruises, let alone so little jail time? It's easy to blame a general lack of regulation—but smarter to point the finger at the regulatory Securities and Exchange Commission itself. Last week one retiring SEC attorney, 66-year-old James Kidney, went out on a limb and agreed:

In the midst of a crippling economic crisis that has left more than five million citizens unemployed—leaving a staggering 52% percent of people under 25 out of work—Spain's government is looking to change both culture and time in order to reverse the financial decline.

Good news for fetuses: the rate of U.S. abortions have hit a new low under President Obama. Not since the legalization of abortion during the Nixon Administration in 1973 has the abortion rate been so low, at just 16.9 abortions per 1,000 pregnancies.

Tell your grandma that Christmas card is never coming—the USPS announced today that one first-class stamp is now going to cost you just shy of two quarters, at the new rate of 49 cents. Up from the previous price of 46 cents, the three-penny increase is due to swiftly declining profits that the United States Postal Service has been dramatically struggling with the past few years. This is the first spike of that magnitude since 2002, and follows up 2013's inflation from 45 cents to 46.

The Washington Post has done a poll that shows lower-income workers are terrified they will lose their awful jobs. Then it interviewed one of those workers, who commutes three hours a day for $5.25 an hour:

Total cost of the government shutdown? About $24 billion.

People are strangers out here on the oil patch, and public conversation is terse and muted. You never know when an oil company manager or safety inspector or corporate spy is sniffing around. I learned after the first day in Williston, N.D., that my usual work uniform of an old sports coat and tie made me suspect. Leaving the tie at the motel helped, but not much.

Oil wells and sheet-metal buildings are hideous things, but America the Beautiful resumes as soon as you get past the last grim RV park and last signs of our shoddy civilization. The easiest way to refresh the soul is to look on the map for a big chunk of green: a national park or preserve or forest, or in the case of the Bakken, the Little Missouri National Grassland.

Boomtowns don't have to be ugly. San Francisco was built during the Gold Rush, as was Sacramento and dozens of still pretty towns in the Sierra Nevada. Virginia City, home to the Comstock Lode, quickly built up neighborhoods of ornate mansions and a main street that offered everything from Oscar Wilde lectures in the opera house to exotic prostitutes from Australia and China. But since the 1960s, when America lost its ability to see or create beauty, our endless boom and bust cycle produces nothing but garbage: garbage housing, garbage retail, garbage jobs and garbage products.

Ken Layne, Gawker's America correspondent, is inaugurating his occasional series of reports from the field with a trip to the boom-rich oil fields of North Dakota's Bakken formation, from where he will be filing dispatches all week.

While many are gathered around the television right now watching the finale of Breaking Bad, according to the New York Times the financial future is uncertain for many Albuquerque businesses who have come to rely on the show for sales.

Excessive drinking costs the American economy more than $220 billion a year, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, which is enough to really make you need a drink.

The U.S. economy added 195,000 jobs in June.

The U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Wisconsin announced a major conviction today in the ongoing criminal prosecution of the people who brought the economy to its knees four years ago via a toxic campaign of mortgage fraud. Meet James Wazlawik of Prescott, Wisc.

A sad new study proves that moms are the top earners in four of ten American households. It may seem like a positive thing that these working women are top earners, but it either means the woman is a single mother or that the "dad" is unemployed.

The Euro Zone economy shrank more than expected during the first three months of 2013, revealing a group of nations still deeply mired in recession.

YouTube commenters have many lessons to teach us. Lessons like: Trayvon Martin was a thug! White people are oppressed! The creator of this particular piece of content is a faggot! Infowars dot com! Invest in gold to avoid being suckered by the reptoid-controlled Fed and its fiat currency!

Speaker of the House John Boehner has changed his mind. After months spent engaged in talks with President Obama in an attempt to avoid budget-slashing government sequestration—which hits today!—he now believes that no negotiation is probably the best policy.