· Hollywood Out of Ideas: Michael Bay Instigating Another Completely Unnecessary Horror-Classic Remake Edition. After the announced despoiling of A Nightmare on Elm Street by his Platinum Dunes "horror shingle," the director is in talks to produce a remake of Rosemary's Baby for Paramount. Look for Megan Fox to star as the totally babealicious swimsuit model knocked up by Shia LaSatan. [THR]
· An historic SAG/AFTRA Accord has been reached in order to present a united front in the upcoming negotiations for a feature-primetime contract. (Does that include primetime-features? We don't know, but we imagine it does!) It all went down in Peter Chenin's office, but fellow Mt. Mogulmore models Robert Iger and Les Moonves couldn't make it, for out-of-town and lunch-eating reasons, respectively. [Variety]

Few came away from Ang Lee's vision of Hulk—about two freakishly massive, green cowboys who smash boulders and each others' hearts on the open Wyoming plain—feeling the director had really done the Marvel source material justice. So it was with a measure of relief that Ed Norton announced he would be sweeping in to reclaim the franchise, with a bold re-envisioning of the beloved tale of Dr. Banner and his rageoholic, gamma-bomb-enhanced Mr. Hyde. Now, reports Deadline Hollywood Daily, the legendarily exacting Norton has been locking horns with the Marvel Studios brass over final cut:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Edward Norton looking so motherfucking gangsta at a RZA concert.

· Paramount acquires the rights to the life of spy Kathi Lynn Austin, whose arms-trafficking and terrorism-related adventures could become "an action vehicle" for Angelina Jolie that will ultimately bear little to no resemblance to the intelligence operative's real life. [Variety]
· To help CBS survive the strike/break the wills of writers, Les Moonves plans to repurpose edited versions of Showtime series like Dexter for use on his content-starved broadcast network, though it's unclear whether this idea will include a fucking-lite version of Californication. [THR]
· Publicists love Judd Apatow! He'll be named 2007's "outstanding film showman" at the 45th annual Flackies. [Variety]

It's been a while since we've checked in with Scriptland (discarded original title: Final Draft Aficionado), the LAT's weekly column on "screenwriters," the mythical creatures sometimes credited with creating the story/dialogue combinations that become movies once producers, directors, and actors collaborate to make sense of the jumble of oddly formatted words called "screenplays." Today's piece looks at a mild Comic-Con controversy that arose over the authorship of the upcoming The Incredible Hulk, Marvel's attempt to reboot a franchise it had brought to the screen as recently as the summer of 2003. Fans needed to know: Was the scribe comic-book-flick go-to guy Zak Penn, writer of X2, X-Men: The Last Stand, and Elektra, or Ed Norton, an actor—gasp!— with a reputation as a selfless improver of script pages in need of a quick punch-up and who may or may not have generated the uncredited idea that ex-girlfriend Salma Hayek's titular Frida character should have a mustache that would distract from her frequent toplessness? The Times explains:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted the star of your favorite CW series dumping her boyfriend at a local eatery.

In what is easily the most unexpected superhero casting news since it was announced in September that Robert Downey, Jr. would be donning Iron Man's exoskeleton, Variety reports that fellow card-carrying Serious Actor Edward Norton has signed on for an Incredible Hulk sequel planned for release next summer:

· Edward Norton and Brad Pitt will produce a 10-part miniseries for HBO and National Geographic based on a Stephen Ambrose book on Lewis and Clark. Norton will direct at least one of the episodes, with Brad Pitt set to pretend he'd heard of Lewis and Clark before he was presented with the project. [Variety]
· 20th Century Fox TV signs Antoine Fuqua to an exclusive television directing deal, hoping that the director can translate some of the magic of King Arthur and the last half-hour of Training Day to the small screen. [THR]
· CBS wins a "fierce bidding war" for the sitcom Class, about a "group of eight twentysomethings who were all in the same third-grade class 20 years ago. Most of the group doesn't keep in touch or even remember one another. They're brought together again by happenstance when one of them throws a surprise anniversary party for his girlfriend — whom he met in the third grade." High concept enough for you? No? Bam: There's "no one living room where they gather." Welcome to the age of the multiple-couch sitcom. [Variety]
· Not to put too fine a point on it, but ABC continues to make all Sunday night competition its bitch. [THR]
· Gwyneth Paltrow will star in The Good Night, a film directed by her brother and shooting mostly in London, mercifully keeping the Bride of Coldplay away from America for a little while longer. [Variety]