John Edwards endorsed Barack Obama tonight in a masterstroke of Clintonian gladhanding. The timing of the endorsement certainly shouldn't improve Edwards' reputation as a slick, ambulance-chasing lawyer. He waited until the Democratic presidential hopeful had a virtual lock on the nomination, but not so long that his endorsement would be totally useless. Thus, he preserved the chance to be a part of Hillary Clinton's cabinet for as long as that looked possible, but still managed to score some points with Obama. I'm not saying he planned it all along, because who knew Clinton would stay in the fight this long, but he certainly seized the opportunity she presented to offer a very-low-risk endorsement with significant potential personal upside. Also: Major gripe with the Edwards endorsement coverage in the Times and Washington Post:

Declared-dead Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton seems intent on nailing shut her campaign's coffin. Here's what she just told a USA Today reporter: "'I have a much broader base to build a winning coalition on.' ...As evidence, Clinton cited an Associated Press article 'that found how Sen. Obama's support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me.'" UPDATE: There's a recording of Clinton saying this to the reporter, after the jump

"SNL Politics... dutifully chronicl[es] the political high points of the various shows (Amy Poehler's Hillary! Darrell Hammond's McCain! Fred Armisen's honeyfaced Barack!) plus [has] fun perks, like e-cards, delegate math jokes, 'Which Candidate Are You?' and ads for 30 Rock and My Name Is Earl... [plus] brand extension, like Weekend Update Thursdays." [HuffPo, SNL Politics]

Kooky libertarian Ron Paul has already lost the Republican presidential nomination to John McCain, but he's technically still in the race and even picked up 16 percent of the no-doubt-minimal Republican voting in Pennsylvania. And Paul apparently still commands an army of internet zealots who spam online comment boards in between World of Warcraft guild quests, because his troops just pushed Paul's new book Revolution to the top of the May 18 Times bestseller list for nonfiction. Vanity Fair took a look at some of their shady tactics, happily confirmed by Paul's publisher Grand Central:

"Some of the most celebrity-centric, entertainment-obsessed news media outlets have added a heavy dose of political news to their lineups, taking space normally devoted to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ... The gossip-magazine editors appear to hold the cards most of the time. When President Bill Clinton submitted an essay for publication in Us, it did not pass muster with [Us editor Janice] Min. 'It was the magazine equivalent of watching C-Span,' she recalled, a slight shudder in her voice. 'I was a little mortified to do it, but we kicked it back to the president for a revise.'" [Times]

Here's George McGovern on CNN explaining why he repealed his October endorsement of Hillary Clinton and now favors her Democratic presidential rival Barack Obama. "I don't want to see a repeat of what happened to me in 1972," when Democrat McGovern was defeated by Republican Richard Nixon in a landslide. Just — wow. Harsh.

So it seems the Barack Obama campaign has replaced those three annoying young men in Abercrombie & Fitch shirts with a creepy collection of older white ladies in pastels, as though he were a polygamist cult leader or something. Dashing CNN anchor Anderson Cooper does not seem thrilled about this change, for some reason. His colleagues instinctively felt his displeasure at trading pumped-up college dudes in tight, trendy t-shirts for middle-aged housewives, so they started giggling. Coop-style journalism is contagious! Clip after the jump.

Hillary Clinton squeaked by with 23,000 votes in Indiana. The Democratic presidential candidate ran out of money. Supposedly she has canceled public appearances the next few days. Matt Drudge and Tim Russert say it's over. Who is still standing behind Clinton, chanting "Yes she can?" Crazy dead-ender cult people like the ones in the picture above, with goddamned stickers on their foreheads. After the jump, Gawker videographer Richard Blakeley (who spotted the stickers) imagines the conversation that led to this awful visual:

Hey, look, Matt Drudge did something nice for the entire country: He ended the Democratic primary, even though it was supposed to continue until eternity. See the picture and headline at left, which ran atop Drudge Report tonight. Drudge's link went to a video of Meet The Press anchor Tim Russert calmly explaining to America that "we now know who the Democratic nominee is going to be" and that Hillary Clinton is probably about to quit (she cancelled her TV appearances and everything!). Then David Gergen, the Bill Clinton aide turned talking head, said on CNN the election is over, partly because Chelsea looked sad during Hillary's last speech. "You could see the anguish on her face," Gergen said. "I think the Clinton people know the game is almost up." Remaining voters, politely thank your media overlords for deciding the election on your behalf. Clips of Russert and Gergen, and a bigger pic of the Drudge page, after the jump.

It was a tight 51-49 percent with 95 percent of precincts reporting, and now the Associated Press projects Hillary Clinton as the winner in Indiana. More in the Times. Clinton said she'll keep fighting, but with only a 23,000-vote margin and reports she dipped into her own funds, her options are "dwindling."

We've all heard Barack Obama's Message of Hope a thousand times, and probably already voted this primary season, so let's all just keep an eye out for the most insane supporter standing behind the Democratic presidential candidate whenever he gives a victory or concession speech. A couple of weeks ago it was three hyperactive tools in Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts. In February it was a woman in some kind of emotional rhapsody. Now, in the background of Obama's North Carolina victory speech, it's this wahoo in a pastel blue shirt, in the upper left corner, behind CNN's "Raleigh, NC" logo. Oddly, he's surrounded entirely by women and other white people in pastels, except for a lone black face. Watch him go crazy over shouts out to minor dignitaries and every other thing Obama says in the video after the jump. Also dig Obama's new southern accent.

In the following clip, Hillary Clinton is asked to choose between celebrities Ellen DeGeneres, Simon Cowell and Jimmy Kimmel as a vice president. "Who would you pick and why?" asked Mary Alice Haney, of MomLogic.com and TV channel Extra. The only appropriate response, of course, would be for Clinton to use the lasers behind her cyborg eyes to set Haney's hair on fire, but it's 2008 and the Democratic presidential candidate needs to out-cool Barack Obama and John McCain, so she just laughed (at the sad future of our country) and said they'd all be on her short list. I really wanted her to snap and live up to her reputation as a caustic bitch, but she didn't, not even when asked about inane advice from Cowell. Clip after the jump.

Ouch, Hillary! Hollywood nice guy and Oscar collector Tom Hanks just released a video endorsing Senator Barack Obama for President.

Here is the only pro-Barack Obama (or pro-anyone, really) YouTube video that I've been able to sit through in its entirety. But, then again, I'll sit through pretty much anything involving Star Wars. Because Star Wars is the greatest thing ever. Period.

It's obvious why Democratic presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama want to go on Fox News all of a sudden. They're trying to reach white male swing voters, and those voters tend to watch Fox. But why is the conservative cable news network so eager to cede airtime to these bleeding heart lefties? That would be because of ratings. For some strange reason, Fox News viewers are suddenly very interested in the Democratic primaries, even though they shouldn't care because Republican candidate John McCain has already promised to continue many of the glorious Bush Administration policies they've heard so much about on Fox News. This has led to some, uh, changes:

Those three distracting guys behind Barack Obama during his concession speech last night may all have been wearing Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts, but they were not part of a marketing campaign for the "edgy"/racist/twattish youth clothing retailer, the company tells USA Today. And while the Obama campaign is obviously guilty of bad crowd control for letting the jumpy "toolboxes" stand in the camera frame, they say they didn't put them there on purpose, or pick out their outfits, or even know who they are. For now, the Obama Abercrombie chuckleheads remain a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma, at least until their viral YouTube video comes out, or they sign some kind of Ritalin endorsement deal. After the jump, TV host Stephen Colbert floats his own dark theory about the A&F incident.

Editorial: "By staying on the attack and not engaging Mr. Obama on the substance of issues like terrorism, the economy and how to organize an orderly exit from Iraq, Mrs. Clinton does more than just turn off voters who don't like negative campaigning. She undercuts the rationale for her candidacy that led this page and others to support her: that she is more qualified, right now, to be president than Mr. Obama." [Times]

This mystery is bugging me: Why were the three young guys behind Barack Obama during his concession speech tonight all wearing Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts? Maybe it's a plot by the Obama campaign to win back the gay community, which has something of a taste for the youth clothing retailer and, especially, its catalogs, but whose vote is basically owned by Hillary Clinton. But gays aren't really a swing vote in the upcoming Indiana or North Carolina primaries, nor in the Democratic party's upcoming battle against Republican nominee John McCain. Perhaps, instead, this is some kind of bizarre attempt at product placement by Abercrombie, trying to latch on to some of Obama's rock-star appeal. Watch the Abercrombie boys shuffle around and holler during Obama's speech in the video after the jump.

The major networks are calling the Pennsylvania primaries for Hillary Clinton, and with 31 percent of precincts reporting she has a comfortable 10 percentage point lead over Barack Obama, not that her margin of victory really matters, because Clinton has already promised to keep arguing with her Democratic presidential rival forever, until every last American is a broken alcoholic begging for mercy from this endless campaign. "Mrs. Clinton is leaving no doubt that this race goes forward," said the Times tonight. The next primary is May 6, in Indiana and North Carolina. Even if Clinton ends up with a vanishingly small margin of victory in Pennsylvania and virtually no chance of winning the nomination, the media is still going to be saturated with campaign "news." Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go buy a couple more bottles of scotch..

During the 1990s, Richard Mellon Scaife spent millions of dollars to dig up all kinds of dirt on Bill and Hillary Clinton, including about Bill's sexual misconduct and the Clinton's investment in the Whitewater real estate development. At the time, Hillary said the media attacks Scaife funded were part of a "vast right wing conspiracy," but now she thinks the whole thing was just hilarious. MSNBC anchor Keith Olbermann reminded Clinton that he once left MSNBC because he was so upset over coverage of the attacks on Bill Clinton. Hillary Clinton kept laughing. Olbermann told her he wasn't joking. Clinton kept laughing. "I do believe in redemption, Keith," Clinton said. "I believe in deathbed conversions." Deathbeds are funny, so Clinton kept laughing. Video after the jump.