According to the FBI, the first two things your kids should attempt in any active shooting situation are 1) run or, if that’s not possible, 2) hide. According to Fox & Friends, Little Johnny needs to stand his goddamn ground.

Going Rogue is out today! The Washington Post have put together a cursory index that includes Hasselbeck, Elizabeth:"bold and talented," and Lieberman, Joe: a "bright spot" in the campaign. They also reveal who Palin calls when naked and soapy.

• Shiksa Ivanka Trump and Observer-owning Jewish beau Jared Kushner have the rabbi for her conversion all picked out. It was important to both of them that he hate the Times. [P6]

While DreamWorks, Lionsgate and even Cash-Machine Manoj all have Indian capital to thank for their varying degrees of independence, Terry Semel is apparently courting a few billion dollars from Dubai as he nears a deal to acquire the management giant (and burgeoning media player) IMG. The ex-Warner Bros./Yahoo! kingpin has had his eye on Teddy Forstmann's hobby since at least June, when it was rumored Semel was knocking on a few gilded doors around the Middle East, hat in hand.

On this Super Tuesday, there is no Hotter Topic than voting, as we've just been reminded by the right-wing-representing member of The View's daytime political thinktank, Elizabeth Hasselbeck. If you haven't yet been moved to do your civic duty, Hasselbeck's account of how she overcame the unconscionable harassment of ballot-hoarding liberal operatives at her polling place to finally cast her Republican primary vote—out in the open, not behind some shame-concealing curtain!—will certainly encourage you to abandon your cubicle long enough to take part in the democratic process. Let her struggle be your inspiration, America.

Cosmopolitan editor Kate White threw a book party of sorts at Michael's today? The hostesses, who—for the record—didn't look too abused, asked why I was there. "For that book thing whatever," I said. They pointed me to the bar. The first thing that caught my eye was Elizabeth Hasselbeck. She was still wearing the harlequin dress that merely hours earlier had weathered the heat of battle with Rosie O'Donnell. Her face was still unnaturally tan. And one long deep wrinkle, as if she had traded in all the little ones for this one, perfectly bisected her forehead.

• John Travolta and Kelly Preston's son, Jett, may be autistic — but, as ardent Scientologist, they won't do a thing about it. And so poor Jett goes back to staring at 246 toothpicks. [R&M]
• An anonymous caller called the city's Child Services to make damaging and unsupported claims about View co-host Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Unfortunately, raising your child in a Republican household doesn't qualify as abuse. [Lowdown]
• Dropping your baby on his head is OK, too: Los Angeles' child services closes its investigation of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. [IMDb]
• Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden turns the normally idyllic Misshapes party into a violent hell, pounding the life out of a hipster in the process. We're so fucking proud of him, seriously. [Page Six]