• Shiksa Ivanka Trump and Observer-owning Jewish beau Jared Kushner have the rabbi for her conversion all picked out. It was important to both of them that he hate the Times. [P6]
  • OK, so Madonna has reportedly been calling soon-to-be-ex husband Guy Ritchie a gold digger, but she's the one who made him sign a contract to "enrich" his wife and "devote time to our sexual expressiveness." [Sun]
  • The View denied that Elizabeth Hasselbeck gets into screaming matches with Joy Behar, as the Chicago Sun-Times reported. But she does get the lion's share of death threats from people outside the show, according to Whoopi Goldberg.
  • Under a new court order, a medical team will monitor Britney Spears' career at all times to make sure it does not drive her insane. That's an actual fact. [TMZ]
  • Do not speak to the Olsen twins at their book signing, do not photograph the Olsen twins at their book signing and do not ask the Olsen twins to read anything at their book signing. Why are you even at their book signing? [P6]
  • Girls Gone Wild scuz Joe Francis claimed Lindsay Lohan isn't really lesbian and trashed the actress' girlfriend Samantha Ronson as a "wretched" manipulator. Because if you're going to manipulate women, you have to do it with class. Joe Francis class. [P6]
  • Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie require the services of six nannies. They tried to cut down to four but that was just overwhelming. The dinner table seats 16. [Scoop]