Breaking news out of Scarsdale, N.Y.: DJ Funkmaster Flex is trapped inside a women’s room stall—it was the only bathroom they had the key for—and a group of four women just walked in as he was trying to take a shit.
PSA: Don’t drink the water at The New York Times’ Manhattan headquarters. According to an internal memo distributed this morning, two staffers at the paper’s 8th Avenue office, near Times Square, have fallen ill due to suspected water contamination. The memo’s author, vice chairman Michael Golden, said certain water, ice and coffee machines were being shut down until further notice:
United Flight 1637 was supposed to be a quick holiday jaunt for off-duty Air Force Captain Mike Gongol and his family. But when the 737's pilot suffered an apparent heart attack, Gongol ended up in the cockpit, helping guide the plane to an emergency landing that saved 160 souls.
Colorado is fully on fire. A number of devastating blazes are currently raging across the state in various stages of non-containment. Governor John Hickenlooper is already calling this "the worst fire season in the history of Colorado."
What's wrong with you, America? While you leer at "hoochie mamas" on VH1 and use "sext messages" on your "crackberries," a very real international crisis is being ignored across the ocean: Norway is running out of butter.
Hi Kids! Welcome to Gawker's famous "Kiddie Corner," a place just for you. Today, let's talk about 911. Does anyone know what 911 is? That's right! It's a phone number. A very important phone number. It's Santa Claus' phone number!
You know who will never work at the Genius Bar? Or see his name anywhere near the word "genius" in his lifetime? Michael Alan Skopec. The 48-year-old from Bristol, Illinois, was arrested at 1 a.m. on Wednesday morning, for, according to the sheriff's office report, calling "911 on five occasions to report that his iPhone was not working."
Usually, when you're in a high-speed chase with the police, you only have three options: pull over and surrender, outrun the police and escape, or crash and die. But what if there were a fourth option?
Marijuana is an odd drug! Sometimes when you're stoned you fall asleep in the middle of taking a bite of a cookie. And then sometimes you steal an ambulance from outside a house fire at 4 a.m. and drive across your neighbors' lawns.
Think you can escape the heat by going swimming? Think again! Following a "catastrophic fire that shut down one of the city's largest sewage treatment plants," New York City is awash in poop. Millions of gallons of untreated sewage poured into the Hudson and Harlem Rivers this week, tainting beaches as far as Brooklyn and Staten Island. Basically, New York is a big, hot Port-a-Potty today. A festering cauldron of fecal matter. A fetid puddle of poo. [NYT, image via Flickr]
The tornado-ravaged citizens of Cordova, Alabama — about 35 miles northwest of Birmingham, pop. 2000 — have lost everything after a series of monster twisters tore through their town on April 27th. With nowhere to turn, scores of newly homeless residents were relieved when FEMA came along with a caravan of single-wide mobile homes they could use as shelter. Not so fast: Mayor Jack Scott has declared that single-wide mobile homes are illegal in Cordova.
An empty house in Marblehead, Mass. seems to have called 911 on its own after months of enduring a leaky pipe that covered the walls with toxic mold. And you thought that dog that called the police was smart.
Martha Stewart looooves her dogs. But do they secretly resent her? When she bent down to whisper goodbye to her bulldog Francesca, the dog jumped up and split her lip, sending Martha to the hospital. There, she criticized the wallpaper.
What's the most efficient way to dislodge a bullet stuck in your head? By sneezing it out, of course! Which is exactly what one Italian man did over New Year's.
