Lenovo, the global technology manufacturing firm that recorded nearly $30 billion in revenue last year, has named Ashton Kutcher, a former male model who rose to fame playing the stupid one on That 70s Show, as its new "Project Engineer." The time to dump your Lenovo stock is now.

It sure seems unlikely that David Petraeus, the married director of the C.I.A., would be seducing Taiwanese engineers on Skype in order to cash his, uh, paychecks from the NATO operation in Libya, doesn't it? But try telling that to Liu Shuzhen, who is pretty insistent that she and Petraeus are getting married, any day now.

When former Varian engineer Wayne Cox reached out his driver-side window to push the dying Oralia Puga Ramirez, 75, and Enedina Oliva, 70 off the hood of his car, a 1994 Infiniti, did he have to roll down his window first or was it already open? I wonder, because that's a detail that matters — a detail that delineates between confused and calculated cruelty. You're driving along, you hit someone by accident, your window's already open, you reach out to see if the person is OK, they aren't, so you freak out and drive away — that's callous and wrong, but not calculated. Hit someone you didn't see, see they're dying, press the button to send your power window down, wait the three or four seconds for the window to sink all the way, then reach out and push two dying people from the car's hood? That's callous, wrong and calculated — criminal in a way you'd only expect from an engineer. Or least from an engineer like the nine bad guys we list below:

Google Blogoscoped went and did it — the search blog revealed info from the Orkut profiles of major Googlers to the unwashed, uninvited masses.

Ohhhh, developers. Yahoo engineer Cal Henderson has whipped up some useful tools, like the commute-planning IamCaltrain map. But he's also renowned for some more playful toys — like the Yahoo org chart guessing game.

So they don't make "Jenny from the Block" music videos.