The forthcoming Warner Bros remake of Tarzan stars Travis Kimmel, the Australian torso featured in Calvin Klein ads. The action takes place in Manhattan (played by Toronto), providing ample opportunity for shots of Travis Kimmel in a loincloth, posing ironically in front of Times Square underwear billboards. In recognition of the target demographic, the show, originally titled Tarzan and Jane, has been shortened to Tarzan.
TV's new Tarzan swings in the Manhattan jungle [Toronto Star]

1. Stop what you're doing, and head over right now to South Street Seaport, where 12 firefighters featured in this year's FDNY pinup calendar are holding a photo shoot at 10.30 am. They'll sign calendars till 2pm. [FDNY via Gothamist]
2. Now that the initial crowds have eased, check out the Whitney's timely take on the US image in the world, in the eyes of international artists. The show, the American Effect, runs till October.
3. Take in the robot talent show at Eyebeam, the geeky art center. The Tickle Salon is a robotic installation which offers private automated massages. The end-of-show party is at 8pm tonight.
4. See Liev Schreiber as Henry V at Shakespeare in the Park. [NYDN]

1. Since Bastille Day has become the un-American national holiday, drop in to see the show at Florent, in the Meatpacking district. The brasserie, at 69 Gansevoort, is fully booked, but you might be able to get in to Meet or Rhone next door, or squeeze into Florent itself after midnight. [MUG]
2. Another French event at Fez, 380 Lafayette St: Loser's Lounge perform an ironic tribute to Serge Gainsbourg, the throaty singer-songwriter. [Flavorpill]
3. There's sure to be a French round at tonight's Big Quiz at the Slipper Room, at 167 Orchard Street. Go for Noah Tarnow, the geek savant who comperes the trivia competition, and Lower East Side hipsters who gradually, as the evening progresses, reveal their embarrassing nerdy pasts.

1. Hear Gary Shteyngart and RJ Curtis at Galapagos.
2. Catch the Gotan Project at Central Park Summerstages
3. Try the seared yellowtail at Yujin.

In the continuing vein:

1. Catch Madame Sata at the Film Forum.
2. See "Hopscotch: The New York Sex Comedies" at the Red Room.
3. Hear Edward Klein talk about his book, The Kennedy Curse, at the 86th Street Barnes & Noble. [Blame Klein for vapid Kennedy coverage in Vanity Fair, et al.]

1. Try the truffled egg toast at 'inoteca on Rivington, which opens today.
2. Catch Pilobolus 2003 at the Joyce Theater
3. Hear Pearl Jam and the Buzzcocks at Madison Square Garden

1. Catch Jean Renoir's The Rules of the Game at the MoMA Gramercy Theater.
2. Hear Ben Greenman (Superbad) and Darin Strauss (Chang and Eng, The Real McCoy) read at the Pindeldyboz event.
3. Hear the New York Philharmonic in Central Park.

1. Catch the Foo Fighters at Hammerstein Ballroom.
2. Hear Twisted Sister (yes, Twisted Sister) at Giants Stadium.
3. View the American Effect exhibit at the Whitney.

1. Hear The Cinematic Orchestra at the Bowery Ballroom.
2. Catch Francois Ozon's new film, Swimming Pool.
3. Try the "best steak [NYT food critic William Grimes has] eaten in the last couple of years" at Morrell's.

1. Hear Sex in the City author Candace Bushnell discuss her new book, Trading Up, at Barnes & Noble.
2. Catch Bruce Willis and the Accelerators at Irving Plaza. Issue unsolicited Demi/Ashton commentary. Loudly.
3. Attend the 2nd Annual Rant-off at the KGB bar.

1. Go to Central Park and help scientists gathering information about the park for the BioBlitz. Friday noon - Saturday noon.
2. Watch Danny Boyle's post-apocalyptic zombie movie, 28 Days Later.
3. Hear Wire at the Bowery Ballroom.
4. See Fareed Zakaria read from his book, The Future of Freedom, at Barnes & Noble, Broadway and West 82nd Street, 7:30 PM.

1. See Wilco & Sonic Youth at Central Park Summerstage.
2. Go to Fort Greene Park for the "Pillars of Fort Greene Park" and hear actors read from works by writers who frequented the park, Walt Whitman, Marianne Moore, and Richard Wright.
3. Watch Ernst Lubitsch's To Be Or Not To Be and The Shop Around the Corner at the Film Forum.

1. Get Lit at the Brooklyn Brewery, with readings from Jonathan Ames, Amanda Stern and Todd Colby.
2. Go to the Live Out Loud Gala with host Alan Cumming and honorary hosts Danis O'Hare, Tony Kushner, Sandra Bernhard, and Billie Jean King. Chelsea Art Museum.
3. See Chilean pop-rock ensemble La Ley at Irving Plaza.

I've been told that Henry V at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park has been cancelled due to technical difficulties caused by the rain. (The now-absent "number four" on the "to-do list.")

1. Join an International Design Conference in Aspen discussion about design in NY and urban contexts, Design for Change, with city planners and designers, including City Planning Director Vishaan Chakrabarti, Andrew Sturm and Dan Pitera of the Detroit Design Center Collaborative, and Father Terrence Curry of Fordham's Center for Env. Design and Community Development, moderated by Gregg Pasquarelli. Sponsored by Architecture for Humanity, Scandinavia House, 58 Park Avenue.
2. Hear Ronnie Koenig talk about working at Playgirl magazine, at the 92nd Street Y.
3. See Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds at the Roseland Ballroom.

1. See Punch Drunk Love at BAM, followed by a Q&A with director P.T. Anderson and actor Philip Seymour Hoffman.
2. Hear Norah Jones performs at the Beacon Theater.
3. Attend the Tribute to Peggy Lee at Carnegie Hall, including performers Deborah Harry, Peter Cincotti, Petula Clark, Rita Moreno, and Nancy Sinatra.
4. See Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in Bryant Park.

1. Catch Roseanne Cash at the Prospect Park Bandshell, 7:30PM.
2. See the Lubitsch double feature of Ninotchka and Cluny Brown at Film Forum.
3. Hear the Pernice Brothers play with Blake Hazard and Frank Bango at Southpaw, 9PM.

Okay, so I don't actually do most of the to-do list items. They're usually just things that we think most normal people would enjoy doing. My usual to-do list looks something like this:
1. Coax computer into producing notes for article that mysteriously disappeared when computer last crashed.
2. Realize that notes are gone forever and will have to be reconstructed. Scream silently. Refrain from killing self.
3. Realize am late to meet friend for drink. Run out door, grab slice of pizza (dinner), go to meet friend at WD-50 dive bar.
4. Go to schmoozy media party. Drag friend. Gossip about industry with other drunken hacks. (Other drunken hacks preface conversation with "you're not going to put this on Gawker, are you?")
5. Go to dive bar with other drunken hacks. Drag friend.
Wash, rinse, repeat. It's amazing that I even have friends left to drag. (Then there's the also popular 'alternative to-do list': 1. Work. 2. Work. 3. Work.)

1. Hear soul singer Solomon Burke & The Soul Alive Orchestra at the 92nd Street Y.
2. See Pericles at the Culture Project, 45 Bleecker Street (tickets).
3. Find out how art dealer Richard Polsky finally got an Andy Warhol painting after 12 years when he reads from I Bought Andy Warhol at the Chelsea Barnes and Noble, 6th Avenue at West 22nd St., 7PM.