There is some money to be made for Capitol Hill staffers. No, not salary-wise, ha. In harassment settlements! Get a job with the most pervy congressman (all of them), wait for the inevitable "comment," and let taxpayers cash you out.

Salty Sea Dog and former congressman Eric Massa (D-Public Showers) is under investigation by the FBI for corruption. Uh oh! His campaign made large, suspicious payments days after he announced that he would not seek reelection.

Thought tickling someone "till he couldn't breathe" was weird? Turns out Eric Massa had to be removed from a DC bar when he wouldn't stop making "inappropriate comments." Oh, and he hit on the bartender at a marine's funeral. Salty!

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart issued an equal opportunity slap on the wrist to members on both sides of the Congressional aisle for their party-driven, hypocritical responses to the sex scandals of colleagues. Inside, video of Stewart's remarks.

Really, Jerry Seinfeld? You make your ~triumphant~ return to NBC with the horrid train wreck that is The Marriage Ref? Then, you reduce yourself to doing SNL cameos to desperately try to drum up publicity for it? Really? Video inside.

That's an actual Slate sub-headline. Before you dismiss, consider this: "The Dalai Lama is a professed tickler, often using it as a handshake substitute. (He even tickled Archbishop Desmond Tutu during a procession to distract him.)" Counterintuition saves Salty Sailor.

Tonight on Real Time, Bill Maher took Mitt Romney to task for being a "pandering shape-shifter." The real laughs came, though, when Maher unveiled a few modified versions of Romney's new book, No Apology. Video inside. Also: New Rules!

Is there a political sex scandal double standard? Do Republicans get off easier than Democrats? Steve Benen and Matt Yglesias think so. As does every other partisan in the world!

Peter Clarke, former shipmate of ex-Rep Eric Massa, told the world about Massa's "snorkeling" expedition. He's been telling anyone who'd listen about Massa for years. All he wants in return? To warn future victims. And to be on Howard Stern.

On her show tonight, Joy Behar and her panel traded pun after pun while discussing former Congressman Eric Massa's current PR debacle. Is there more than meets the eye to these "tickle parties" in which Massa's been involved? Video inside.

"He wakes up to Massa undoing his pants trying to snorkel him." Eric Massa's Navy shipmates are speaking out. Add them to the list of people Massa's touched, from Rahm Emanuel to David Paterson. This story has everything.

Salty sailor and homoerotic harasser Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) recently described a naked confrontation with Rahm Emanuel in the Congressional gym's locker room, where they "don't have shower curtains." They need Extreme Makeover: House of Representatives Edition.

Salty Eric Massa did not disappoint on Glenn Beck. Did Massa "grope a male staffer"? Yes, he says. In fact, he jumped on top of him and "tickled him until he couldn't breathe." Because it was his birthday.

Former Democratic congressman Eric Massa retired from the House because he has cancer and because he was maybe constantly groping male staffers. He will be on Glenn Beck for the full hour today. Michelle Malkin is not happy about that!

Eric Massa is going to resign after all. And then tomorrow he is going to be on Glenn Beck. Here is his comical radio talk about Rahm Emanuel attacking Massa in the shower, without his towel on.

Is "salty old sailor" Eric Massa being railroaded by Democratic leaders for voting against health care, or is he actually a creep who harasses his staff? No one knows. But he had awesome things to say about Rahm Emanuel, today.

Representative Eric Massa (D-NY) is being investigated by the House Ethics Committee for sexual harassment of a male staffer and also his cancer came back. So he's resigning effective Monday. His statement is... worth a read.

Eric Massa, a one-term Democratic congressman from New York's southern tier, is retiring. He says for health reasons (he has non-Hodgkin's lymphoma). Also people have accused him of sexually harassing a male staffer. Updates: Massa's denial is kind of wonderful.