We were too busy getting over this weekend's sunburn to watch The City last night. Good thing fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there for the season finale. The fate of Whitney and Olivia's souls hang in the balance.

We were too busy breathing in the fresh scent of post-rainstorm New York to watch The City last night. Luckily, fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there to clue us in on all the trashy cat fights.

Last night Erin sang Lousie Roe's praises while simultaneously trashing Olivia right in front of her. Olivia, being the crafty person that she is, befriends Louise and throws it back in her face. Good luck next time, Erin.

We were too busy eating Mexican food last night to watch The City. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern is around to give us all the dirt, and eat our left-over chimichanga.

We were too busy eating gelato last night to actually watch The City. However our fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was on the prowl and will bring you all the dirt on her newest nemesis Louise Roe.

Fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern called this morning and said she couldn't write about The City. Something to do with prostitution charges and Tom Arnold. Anyway, you're stuck with me, and I actually had to watch the show.

Looks like Olivia Palermo might be out of a job! After seriously pissing off her bosses at an Elle-sponsored event, Olivia's position seems a little shaky; especially after Erin Kaplan is seen interviewing a new girl!

We were too busy reading old magazines and dusting off our summer clothes to bother watching The City last night. Instead, fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern is going to tell you what you missed. There were parties, and Neel Shah!

MTV reality star and socialite Olivia Palermo is 24 and still a sophomore at The New School. We hear she doesn't pay much attention in class. Maybe that's why she's still in school! Oh, and she hates us.

We were so busy trying to promote our birthday party that we didn't have time to watch The City last night. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there for all the bitch-on-bitch fighting action.

We were too busy paying good money to see Courtney Love sleepwalk through a 45-minute set at Terminal 5 last night to watch the season premiere of The City. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was on the job.

A tipster just spent her entire lunch hour eavesdropping on SUV-driving PR menace Lizzie Grubman and Elle magazine PR honcho (and The City star) Erin Kaplan at Meatpacking restaurant Pastis. Too bad the tip was a fake.

Due to an unfortunate run in with an Elle magazine intern we were unable to watch The City last night. However there is one intrepid reporter who can not be kept down, and she was there to fill us in.

Hey, everyone. This is Bryn Poulos. She wants you all to know that she didn't talk to fictional reporter Betsey Morgenstern for our The City recap. She thinks you're all too stupid to not know that it's a fake.

Due to an unfortunate incident involving a pack of wild turkeys we were unable to watch The City last night. We did piece together the action thanks to some interviews done by our favorite roving social reporter.

We drank one too many white wine spritzers with Brooklyn Decker and missed last night's episode of The City. Thankfully we have the dispatches of our favorite cub social reporter to fill us in on everything we missed.

Unless you watch The City, you may not recognize Erin Kaplan's name. And if you do watch The City, you may not immediately recognize Erin Kaplan's face — she has several, and she likes to make them. A lot.

Due to an unfortunate incident involving talking shit about Ingrid Casares, we were unable to watch last night's episode of The City. Thankfully we were able to piece together the action with some dispatches from our favorite roving social reporter.

Due to an unfortunate Halloween costume construction accident, we were unable to watch New York magazine-PR reality drama The City last night. Thankfully, we our favorite freelance society reporter was there to fill us in.