Cartier celebrated its 100th anniversary in New York last night with a big bash inside its Fifth Avenue store. The celeb-heavy crowd included Elton John, Kate Hudson, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake, Anne Hathaway, Rachel Weisz, Demi Moore, Eva Mendez, Ashley Olsen, Zac Posen, Martha Stewart, Graydon Carter, Jeff Zucker, Robbie Myers, Patti Smith, Russell Simmons and Julie Henderson, Tory Burch, Thakoon Panichgul, Erin Fetherston, Nanette Lepore, Phillip Lim, Coco Rocha, Hilary Rhoda, Daniel Boulud, Eli Weisel, Bruce Weber, Henrik Lundqvist, Ingrid Sischy, Beth Rudin DeWoody, Cornelia Guest, Susan Fales-Hill, Marjorie Gubelmann, Thora Birch, Chiara Clemente, Alexis Bryan, Dylan Lauren, Kelly Klein, and Cartier chief Frederic De Narp. [PMc, Wireimage, WWD]

Everyone's a critic. Queen of the South, a movie about the world of Mexico's drug-running gangsters, has been dropped over fears of retribution by criminals who object to their cinematic portrayal

Eva Mendes turns 35 today. One of New York's richest men, oil billionaire David Koch, is 69. Supermodel-turned-TV host Niki Taylor is turning 34. Actor Kevin Connolly is 35. Former AOL exec and Huffington Post co-founder Kenny Lerer is 57. Sheila Birnbaum, Skadden's "Queen of Toxic Torts," is 69. Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist John Frusciante turns 39. Publicity-seeking pastor Joel Osteen turns 46. And the more talkative member of Penn & Teller, Penn Jillette, is celebrating his 54th birthday.

[Scarlett Johansson and Eva Mendes promoting a movie in Germany; image via Splash]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel leaving Southern Hospitality on Second Avenue through the back door ... Nicole Kidman getting lunch with a friend in the West Village ... Hilary Duff and boyfriend Mike Comrie arriving at their hotel ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts pushing baby Alexander in a stroller ... Natalie Portman taking her dog for a walk in the rain ... Jessica Alba going to dinner at Via dei Mille on West Broadway with daughter Honor and other family members ... Katie Holmes and Suri leaving the Union Square Greenmarket .. Eva Mendes on the set of her new film ... country singer Taylor Swift arriving at her hotel ... Brooke Shields buying toys at FAO Schwarz ... and Keira Knightley and boyfriend Rupert Friend hugging in Central Park.

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard leaving their polling precinct yesterday in Park Slope ... Natalie Portman working at an Obama phone bank ... Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick and son James leaving the pollsi in the West Village ... Naomi Watts going to the movies at the Angelika Film Center ... Elisabeth Hasselbeck taking an Election Day jog on the Upper West Side ... Keri Russell walking in Brooklyn with son River ... Jessica Alba on the set of her new movie ... Beth Ostrosky walking her three dogs in Midtown ... Katie Holmes and Suri walking to get pizza at Pie by the Pound on Fourth Avenue ... Eva Mendes on the set of her new movie in Chelsea ... and Paris Hilton arriving at JFK airport to catch a flight back to LA.

Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty making out on the sidewalk in the West Village ... Jessica Alba and Cash Warren walking in Brooklyn with baby Honor ... Michelle Williams taking daughter Matilda to the doctor's office, then getting in a car with Spike Jonze ... Eva Mendes on the set of her new film ... Daniel Radcliffe jogging on the sidewalk ... Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes leaving the American Felt building with Suri ... Dina and Ali Lohan attending a Halloween charity event ... America Ferrera on the set of Ugly Betty in Gramercy Park ... Lauren Conrad posing for photos outside the Letterman show, and later going out with her new boyfriend Kyle Howard ... and Pink leaving the Alexander McQueen store on West 14th.

♦ Diane von Furstenberg's comic book is now on sale. She launched it last night with a party at her meatpacking district boutique, where guests (like Lindsay Price, left) had their names checked off at the door by Whitney Port and Olivia Palermo, and everyone was warned they might be taped. We look forward to seeing the relevant scene on The City. [Racked]
♦ Pat Field's line for British chain Marks and Spencer had shoppers lining up in their hundreds today, but an unimpressed reporter says she "can't imagine any woman with a stylish bone in her body being seen dead in these get-ups." [Daily Mail]

There's a question that's been troubling us all—perhaps on an unconscious level—and poor Heather Locklear's predicament has brought it to the attention of two of the world's finest philosophers: The Daily News' folksy addiction experts Dave and Bill. So why do famous people spend huge amounts of money on rehab, only to continue getting bombed? It's their "dangerously inflated egos," apparently, which stand in the way of "the healing powers of anonymity and group morale" enjoyed by people with regular-sized egos at 12-step programs.

Click to viewBoomp3.com Eva Mendes’ weekly trip to her nearby magazine kiosk was quickly halted by the discovery of a familiar face on the back of a glossy fashion magazine. Mendes brought the magazine over to the kiosk employee and asked if the person on the back of the magazine looked familiar. The distracted employee barely looked up from the sports section, but nevertheless managed to say, “That’s a real pretty lady.” Mendes smiled and agreed with the man before snatching up the rest of the fashion magazines with her ad on the back cover. Mendes intends to show all of the magazines to her friends and family. [Photo Credit: Flynet] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

♦ Leonardo DiCaprio's romance mojo isn't good this week: On the heels of his break up with Bar Refaeli, Gisele is banishing the memory of their relationship by selling the jewelry he gave her at auction. The October 15th Christie's sale will include a diamond pendant necklace estimated to fetch up to $150,000. [WWD]
♦ People's "Best Dressed" list, topped by Kate Hudson and including Gwyneth Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker and (of course) Michelle Obama, is a totally random list of averagely-dressed women who happen to have been photographed a lot lately. [People]
♦ Carla Bruni-Sarkozy was photographed in Paris last week for T's winter fashion issue, which comes out October 19th. [WWD]

» Zac Posen showed the kind of pretty dresses that made him famous. What has also made him famous, of course, is his dazzling knack for networking, which was in full effect with a starry audience of Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy, Marisa Tomei, Leighton Meester, Venus and Serena Williams, Anna Wintour, André Leon Talley, Bernadette Peters, Diddy, Julian Schnabel, Bette Midler, Juliette Lewis, Kate Mara, Jada Pinkett Smith, Veronica Webb, Joy Bryant, Rachel Zoe, Ingrid Sischy, and Fern Mallis. [WSJ, Wireimage]

Marc Jacobs and boyfriend Lorenzo Martone kissing while eating outside at Pastis ... Liv Tyler walking in the Village with her son ... Andre Leon Talley walking with Venus Williams while wearing peep toe shoes ... Keira Knightley taking a stroll with a friend ... Diane von Furstenberg chatting with a group of women at a Fashion Week event ... Claire Danes and Jada Pinkett Smith posing for pics in the front row at Zac Posen's show ... Tobey Maguire being followed by paparazzi while jogging on the street uptown ... Natalie Portman walking under an umbrella on her way to the Rodarte show ... Heidi Klum en route to Bryant Park ... Tyra Banks standing outside and surrounded by fans ... Blake Lively striking a pose in Bryant Park ... Agyness Deyn looking like she's about to trip while making her way into the Kors show ... Goldie Hawn exiting a store ... Jessica Simpson leaving her uptown hotel en route to the Letterman show ... Eva Mendes going somewhere in a hurry ... Ricky Gervais standing on a street corner and talking to a woman ... and Lindsay Lohan leaving a party, followed closely behind by Samantha Ronson.

1) Of the many fashion parties over the weekend, none was bigger than Calvin Klein's 40th anniversary bash on the High Line last night. Among the fresh-from-Bryant Park faces present: Francisco Costa, Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou, Brooke Shields, Lindsay Price, Kim Raver, Eva Mendes, Halle Berry, Naomi Watts, Ellen Pompeo, Molly Sims, Alan Cumming, Aerin Lauder Zinterhofer, Anna Wintour, Bee Shaffer, Bryan Adams, Bijou Phillips, Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy, Fabien Baron, Ashley Olsen, Cynthia Nixon, Carlos Souza, Linda Fargo, Casey Spooner, Erin Fetherston, Ellen von Unwerth, Estelle, Rachel Zoe, Fern Mallis, Glenda Bailey, Jared Leto, Coco Rocha, Esther Canadas, Joy Bryant, John Leguizamo, Jay Manuel, Julia Restoin Roitfeld, Jessica Szohr, Kevin Bacon, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Leighton Meester, Lydia Hearst, Martha Stewart, Ethan Hawke, Olivia Chantecaille, Padma Lakshmi, Rosario Dawson and Stephanie Seymour. [NYDN, NYO, PMc, GoaG]

At a press conference for the 30 Days of Beauty & Fashion event in Sydney, Australia, actress/model Eva Mendes admitted that she was just the tiniest bit jet lagged from her flight. Mendes told reporters that she has a wonderful aid in fight against her jet leg: energy drinks. Mendes said, "So, right now, my body is telling me that it's Tuesday morning in Los Angeles and I should be asleep, but it's late Wednesday morning here in Sydney and according to most Aussies, I should be up being productive. So, I've had... I don't know how many energy drinks right now, but it's gotten me to the point where my body is feeing like a Tuesday night. I want to say around like 11 pm. I'll be good for a while. I'm not going to do a walkabout, but I could go shopping." Mendes also pointed out that she has an assistant on-call at all times to provide orange slices and a B-12 shot in case she crashes.

• Mary-Kate Olsen's lawyer said she had nothing to do with the drugs found in Heath Ledger's home or his body. The feds don't seem to be entirely satisfied, though, because they've now planning to get a subpoena to force Mary-Kate to testify. [NYP]

Calvin Klein has produced an ad campaign featuring a sultry actress flashing a nipple. That ad has now been banned from TV in America, resulting in a heap of free press for CK and its new fragrance. Could this standard-issue fashion PR masterstroke have been purposeful? A CK exec says it's "not entirely" a surprise that the ad showing Hitch starlet Eva Mendes writhing around naked on a bed (covered only by a strategically rumpled sheet) has been rejected by US networks. (It shows her nipple, duh!) The creative director behind it is maintaining a sense of righteous outrage, but this is clearly a well-executed textbook case of manufacturing controversy for publicity. Yes, we have the ad after the jump.

• Hold the phones: Liz Claiborne has released a glimpse of Isaac Mizrahi's new collection as creative director—the label! It has a different logo and everything. [WWD]

Click to viewIt's shaping up as a cruel summer for drunk, high or otherwise messed up celebrities trying to stay on the straight and narrow. Comedian Andy Dick was arrested this week for groping a 17-year-old's breasts while in possession of marijuana and Valium, in something of a reprise of his bust last year for doing blow in a nightclub. Actress and teen rehab veteran Drew Barrymore is now reported to have boozed her way to a breakup with actor Justin Long. Heather Locklear fled "depression and anxiety" rehab in Arizona after barely two weeks. Even a Rolling Stone, Ronnie Wood, surrendered himself to rehab again after leaving his wife for a 19-year-old cocktail waitress — and two bottles of vodka per day. Maybe all that summer daylight is pushing everyone over the edge! In any case, it's tough to keep track of who's where on the customary arc of high-profile substance abuse: embarrassment, criminality, rock-bottom desperation, rehabilitation and then either another trip around the circle or a break into the freedom of sobriety. That's why we've compiled a guide to once and future inebriated celebrities: 20 actors, singers, models and socialites who hog way more than their fair share of space in the gossip pages — and here on Gawker. We'll update and expand this list over time as a sort of encyclopedia of shame; your comments and tips are encouraged. (The arrows, by the way, indicate trends in drunkenness, so an upward arrow means getting drunker, downward means getting more sober.)

[Photo Credit: Flynet]