Evan Bayh is returning to politics. The former Democratic governor of Indiana and U.S. senator has decided to enter the race for his old Senate seat, which is currently occupied by a retiring Republican. This is exciting news for people who want Democrats to retake the Senate, and bad news for people who want Democrats to retake the Senate not just for the sake of retaking the Senate, but so that those Democrats can actually accomplish things.

Former Democratic Sen. Evan Bayh simply had to resign from Congress last year, as our polarized politics were preventing him from singlehandedly saving the world in his role as a mere public servant. "At this time," as he said in his powerful resignation speech, "I simply believe I can best contribute to society in another way: creating jobs by helping grow a business, helping guide an institution of higher learning, or helping run a worthy charitable endeavor." Got it? He would sacrifice his sizable political power to help America, by creating jobs, giving to charity, and advancing higher education.

Former Democratic Sen. Evan Bayh, who doesn't actually like the Democratic party, has joined Fox News as a contributor. He'll get to keep his new corporate lobbying job, too, since Washington has no professional standards.

If I asked you what the biggest problem facing American politics is, what would you say? Would you say "a lack of civility"? If so, get excited, because, oh boy do I have a political movement for you!

Democrats will be delighted to read a guest op-ed in today's New York Times from retiring Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh, lecturing his fellow Democrats about why they must become a right-wing party. What a troll, huh?

On last night's The Daily Show, John Oliver interviewed Senator Evan Bayh on his not seeking reelection in 2010. In an effort to get inside the mind of a senator leaving, Oliver also checked in with Larry Craig.

Evan Bayh recently announced that he was sick of the Senate, and that he needs a goddamn break before he freaks the fuck out. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but today's Bayh-bylined NYT op-ed contains exciting revelations about his real reasons!

Ha, see how we did that? Who knows? We are just asking a question. Evan Bayh quit the Senate. Now important political blogs wonder, Is it because he wants to run for president? OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY?

Hero Senate quitter Evan Bayh explained absolutely nothing about the reasons for his retirement at his press conference a little earlier. Except that he wishes everyone in the Senate was Dick Lugar. What he didn't mention: he didn't tell Obama or Reid about his plans, and the filing deadline for a candidate looking to replace him is tomorrow. If you won't vote for his Bipartisan Deficit Commission, Evan Bayh will take all of you motherfuckers out.

Democratic deficit hawk who never met a tax cut or agricultural subsidy he didn't love Evan Bayh is retiring from the Senate. Because of partisanship! Oh, partisanship. God bless you.

Cosmo editor on her choice for the magazine's next nude Senator centerfold, to PopEater.com. Reference photo of Bayh, of whom White added, "We think he's hot in a natural, low-key, Midwestern sort of way," provided after the jump.

With Scott Brown's stunning, come-from-behind victory over the boring lady who hated baseball in Massachusetts, the Democrats must admit defeat. Please welcome our new unstoppable Republican Superminority.

Author/humorist David Sedaris turns 52 today. Jared Leto is 37. CNN's Candy Crowley is 60. AOL chief Randy Falco is 55. Senator Evan Bayh is 53. America's Most Wanted's John Walsh is 63. Chris Daughtry is 29. And record producer (and possible murderer) Phil Spector celebrates his 68th today. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

Good news! You thought the career of Mark Penn, scurrilous bastard Clinton pollster and world's worst PR guru, was finished? You thought he'd never ineptly manage the press strategy of another big Democrat again? Especially after those wonderful, wonderful Clinton campaign memos all got dumped on the Internet this week? The joke, as always, is on you, where "you" means "common sense and the hope that the Democratic party won't once again shoot itself in the foot." If Barack Obama chooses Even Bayh as his running mate (please, no, not The Ethanol Ticket), Penn's back on top! "For years, Penn and his wife, Nancy Jacobson, have been close advisers to Indiana Senator Evan Bayh." He'll lose this one for us yet! We'd be happier with fucking Biden. At least he's poor! [Atlantic, Photo-illustration]