Jack the Giant Killer, from X-Men director Bryan Singer, is the latest in a string of classic fairy tales darkly adapted for the screen. The problem with these is that they try so hard to avoid the kiss of box office death that is the for-kids-and-adults genre, that they end up being a silly, self-conscious incarnation of the anti-family flick and up looking like a Twilight afterthought, aesthetically anyway. And thus we have Jack, a retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk featuring Nicholas Hoult, the kid from the British Skins.

Tom sneaks mascara and facials behind Katie's back. Jim Carrey likes kissing Ewan McGregor. Brad Pitt's nose hair secret revealed! Gwyneth Paltrow has a filthy sense of humor. Wednesday gossip ranges from superficial to superficially sordid.

She has to if she wants to write a gangsta rap script correctly. Also today: A sexy new Phantom, a twee indie movie gets turned into a twee regional musical, 3D sports!, and Baywatch alumni news.

On Live with Regis and Kelly, Regis Philbin attempted his best Scottish accent to impress guest Ewan MacGregor. However, as the segment progresses Ewan and Kelly realize that Regis is clueless when it comes to Scotland—and its famous stars.

Today at Gawker.TV, Stephen Colbert has his Olympic interview with Bob Costas, Ewan McGregor insults George Stephanopoulos, Abby Elliott and her dad Chris Elliott, a girl redeems herself on a stair-chair, and a Dutch Oympian calls an NBC reporter stupid.

When Abby Elliott appeared on Dave's couch last night, Chris Elliott—long-time friend, recurring guest, and father to Abby—clearly had to make an appearance. He played the role of "Stage Dad" and watched from backstage with Ewan McGregor.

I Love You Phillip Morris, in which Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor play a gay couple, was the toast of Sundance last year, but has languished ever since. It's finally out in April. And McGregor is unhappy with the studio.

• Marc Jacobs says he's totally over having celebrities at his fashion shows because it's boring, and the only reason Lady Gaga and Madonna turned up to his show last year was because Gaga was performing at the after-party and Madonna, well, she just showed up. "She came backstage, and I was like, 'What do you do with her now?' Because it's not like she was invited." Somewhere, Madonna is burning all of her Marc Jacobs clothing. [P6]
• Rumors have been swirling recently that Ben Affleck fell off the wagon recently and is now drinking again. (He checked himself into rehab back in 2001.) On Monday, a bearded Affleck was spotted "cruising aimlessly" at the Chateau Marmont and "looking worse for wear." Uh oh. [NYDN]
• Tiger Woods mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, has scored herself a job. A day after sitting down with Extra's Mario Lopez for an interview and now the show has hired her as its new nightlife correspondent. Just like hooker-turned-sex columnist Ashley Dupre, Uchitel is proving that you can make a big bunch of terrible decisions in life and come out ahead in the end, provided you have no shame and a burning desire to be famous. [P6]

A rumored Diddy-J.Lo sex tape may not exist, but enters court proceedings anyway; Katy Perry used Google to figure out when Russell Brand would propose; We Are the World: Haiti Edition records, Gerard Butler jokes about being gay. Tuesday gossip!

You've laughed at Conan's withering monologue takedowns of NBC and Jay Leno. But Fox is really serious about wanting Conan on their network. It's too bad an almost hilarious contract oversight might rob Conan of his $45 million breach-of-contract award.

Hunka hunka burnin' Hiiii-ya! Now that that is out of our system we bring you good news: All three of these guys will be starring in "Knockout," a spy movie starring Gina Carano, a freaking mixed martial artist.

Owen Wilson shopping at the Apple store in Soho ... Olivia Palermo checking her BlackBerry outside the Standard Hotel, and later going to the DVF offices with Whitney Port ... Brooke Shields walking with her daughter in the East Village ... Jason Bateman carrying daughter Francesca on his shoulders ... Hugh Jackman going to breakfast with his wife and kids, and later jogging along the West Side Highway ... DJ Clue filming a music video with Fabulous in the meatpacking district ... Ewan McGregor leaving ABC studios ... Nick Jonas arriving at JFK ... and Jennifer Aniston sitting on a stoop with a bunch of kids on the set of The Baster in Brooklyn.

Christopher Walken turns 66 today. The former Vice President of the United States, Al Gore, is 61. Rep. Barney Frank is 69. Ewan McGregor is turning 38. Nutty radio host Michael Savage is 67. Film director Gary Winick is turning 48. Bergdorf fashion director Linda Fargo is 52. Legendary theater impresario Jimmy Nederlander is 87. Rhea Perlman is 61. Actor Richard Chamberlain is turning 75. And Travel Channel host Samantha Brown is celebrating her 40th today.

Ewan McGregor seemed perfectly fine at last night's I Love You Phillip Morris after-party (when he wasn't accosted in the coat check room), but the juicy new Sundance rumor is that things went down afterwards.

Let's get this out of the way: Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor make just about the cutest, most gaga-in-love couple we'll likely see in any movie at Sundance.

For all those hopeful that the success of Brokeback Mountain would lead to more films with A-list male stars in the throes of gay romance, here is what you have wrought: the Jim Carrey/Ewan McGregor romcom I Love You, Phillip Morris. A trailer for the film just emerged from France (of course it would be France!), detailing the wild true story of Steve Russell (Carrey), who was a devoted family man until a car accident turned him gay. Watch out, Morgan Freeman! The newly liberated Russell quickly turns into a con artist, eventually ending up in jail, where he falls head over heels for the incarcerated titular character (McGregor). Suddenly, a gay audience that's clamored for more on-screen kisses will be forced to confront the terror that is Carrey initiating them. The clip, after the jump:

Mountain Men: The Sundance Film Festival broke out its non-competition selections for 2009 this afternoon, a starrier, funkier twist on yesterday's slate of barbershop docs and Pierce Brosnan weepies. At the top is Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor's gay prison romance I Love You Philip Morris, which we've been anticipating since first spying Carrey's frolicsome South Beach sojourn. Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke and Don Cheadle will be around for the cop drama Brooklyn's Finest, while Billy Bob Thornton is bringing two films — the Bret Easton Ellis adaptation The Informers (also with Winona Ryder and Mickey Rourke — stay off the slopes, guys!) and the crap-salesman comedy Manure. Robin Williams, Uma Thurman, Ashton Kutcher, Kevin Spacey, Zooey Deschanel and Kristen Stewart bring up the rear; here's hoping Winona leaves them their gift bags. [SFF]

Click to viewBoomp3.com Star Wars star Ewan McGregor practiced using another force on Monday afternoon as he used the hose to clean his own automobiles. The Scottish actor has always held a great deal of apprehension about having his cars cleaned by professionals. McGregor said, “This was back in London and quite a while ago. However, it still doesn’t change my belief about car washes in general. I took my car in and somebody nicked my Blur CDs. Ever since then, don't trust the ruffians who work there.” McGregor then added that it was a risk he was not willing to take and so, every two to three weeks, he gets out the shamwows, hoses and buckets and goes to town. McGregor added, “There’s no better feeling than doing it for yourself. If I do a good job, the old wifey may tip the best way possible, if you know what I mean.” [Photo Credit: X17] *A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

· Ewan McGregor is close to signing on for The Da Vinci Code sequel Angels & Demons, the least anticipated sequel of all time. (Don't even try to argue this. It is futile. It's even less anticipated than Ice Cube's Next Monday, Not This Monday Coming, But The One Like A Week From This Monday.) [Variety]
· Rogue Pictures purchased Drill Team, a "female-driven teen dance movie set in the competitive world of high school drill teams" for low six-figures, eventually going on to usher the catchphrase "You've been drilled!" into the popular lexicon. [Variety]

Deciphering your moviegoing options for the third week running, Defamer Attractions returns today with a look at the final weekend before the studios spill summer in our lap. Today we gauge Tina Fey's chances for box office superiority, corral the highest-profile dog since 88 Minutes (that was only last week? Really?), recommend a certain Oscar-winning actress's directing debut and scan the new arrivals shelf for DVD's of notice. As always, our opinions are our own, but they're also right. You can thank us later!