explainers

What the Fuck Is All This Benghazi Shit: An Explainer

Max Read · 05/10/13 04:35PM

Your uncle has been posting on Facebook about "Benghazi" or whatever for months now, and you have no clue what the fuck he's talking about because, really, you don't have time for this shit. It's OK. We do. Here's your guide.

False Flags and Roof Terrorists: Your Guide to All the Internet Horseshit

Max Read · 04/16/13 12:35PM

It's already begun: The wacko conspiracy theories about the Boston Marathon bombings are taking over the internet. (In fact, "it" began only 30 minutes after the explosions, when conspiracy kingpin Alex Jones pre-emptively declared it a "False Flag" attack.) Here's our rundown of the most popular—which is to say the dumbest—conspiracy theories and general internet horseshit.

It's St. Paddy's Day, Not 'St. Patty's Day'

Caity Weaver · 03/15/13 04:40PM

Every year on March 17, the people of the world congratulate Alec Baldwin's 17-year-old daughter Ireland on her new modeling contract by celebrating St. Patrick's Day. Unfortunately, in their attempts to observe St. Paddy's day, many people accidentally observe "St. Patty's Day."

What Does a Pope Do?

Caity Weaver · 03/14/13 10:31AM

On Wednesday, a bunch of old men vacationing in Italy selected an Argentine man named Jorge Bergoglio as America's Next Top Pope.

Welcome to the U.S. Copyright Alert System, Where Companies Can Slow Your Internet If You Download Illegally

Caity Weaver · 02/26/13 11:30AM

Hope you downloaded enough episodes of Game of Thrones Sunday night to last you the rest of your life; starting this week, the five major internet service providers (AT&T, Cablevision, Comcast, Verizon and Time Warner Cable) have free rein to harass you with notices, block you from visiting certain websites, and even slow down your Internet speed if you are found (or suspected) to participate in illegal downloading.

Kate Upton and Ryan Gosling Explain the Sequester

Max Read · 02/22/13 03:11PM

Did you know that the federal government is on track to enact massive, across-the-board spending cuts one week from today—cuts that that could affect important government services, cost hundreds of thousands of people their jobs and greatly slow the growth of the economy? No? You didn't? It's okay: it's an incredibly boring story. But don't worry! We're going to make it interesting, the only way we know how: by putting it in the mouths of attractive famous people. Here now: Ryan Gosling and Kate Upton explain the sequester.

Are You Eating Horse? Europe's Growing Horse Meat Scandal Explained

Max Read · 02/19/13 04:26PM

Nestlé, the largest food company on the planet, announced today that it's recalling some of the beef pasta meals it sells in Spain and Italy. The reason? The "beef" contains horse DNA. And Nestlé's not the only company. Nearly all of the U.K.'s biggest supermarkets and many of their suppliers have been forced to remove horse meat fraudulently labeled as beef from the shelves as more and more companies are implicated in the widening scandal. Where's the horse meat coming from? How is it getting into the beef? Has the United States' supply been compromised? We've got the answers.

Your Guide to the Trillion-Dollar Platinum Coin That Obama Can Mint to Save the World

Max Read · 01/07/13 01:30PM

Today, New York Times columnist and Nobel prize winning economist Paul Krugman wrote that President Obama should be "absolutely" prepared to mint a one trillion dollar platinum coin and use it to pay the government's bills. It wasn't a typo: a lot of people are discussing the trillion-dollar coin as a way to avoid a fight over the debt ceiling. But what is it? And why? And whose face will be on it? Here's our guide.

Will You Fall Off The Fiscal Cliff, Wage Slave? Let's See How Far

Max Read · 01/02/13 03:30PM

The "fiscal cliff" deal hammered out at the last minute by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Vice President Joe Biden passed the House of Representatives last night — no thanks to House Republicans, who nearly capsized it at the last minute.

Your Guide to the Mayan Apocalypse, the Secret Planet Nibiru, and the End of the World, Which Is Happening Tomorrow

Max Read · 12/20/12 12:35PM

The world is ending! Thirty-three schools in Michigan are closing "in part because the Mayan calendar predicts the world will end on Friday." The New York Post is trying to help a model have sex. And yet for some reason, you're at work, instead of your bunker/place of worship/celestial energy node. But that's because you knew that Gawker would help explain to you why the world isn't ending tomorrow, and why everyone else thinks it is.

Everything You Need to Know About R.A. Dickey, the Man Who Throws Baseball's Best and Strangest Pitch

Jack Dickey · 09/28/12 04:45PM

R.A. Dickey, a starting pitcher for the New York Mets, earned his 20th win of the season two nights ago. Now everyone is talking about him, and you are standing off to the side smiling and nodding like an idiot because you thought the Met was a museum. You're a nerd, it's fine, but we wanted to help you out: Here, Deadspin's Jack Dickey (no relation, just obsession) breaks down the wonder that is R.A. Dickey's 2012 season.

The Non Sports Fan's Guide to the NFL's Replacement Referee Fiasco and Green Bay's Stolen Game

Max Read · 09/25/12 02:45PM

Last night, a bad call by the NFL's replacement referees cost the Green Bay Packers a win, and everyone's talking about it. Everyone except for you, hiding in your office, unable to understand 50 percent of the words in the previous sentence, faking a coughing fit every time one of your coworkers passes by. Well, non sports fan, we're here to save you. This is everything you need to know about the NFL's replacement referee fiasco and last night's crazy Green Bay-Seattle game — tailored for people who've never watched a minute of professional football.

Your Guide to the Week of Kate Middleton's Boobs and the French Magazine that Published Them

Max Read · 09/20/12 02:30PM

Last Friday, French gossip magazine Closer published a series of photographs of Kate Middleton sunbathing topless. Yesterday morning, police in Paris raided the publication's offices of Closer magazine, searching the building and inspecting the staff's computers in an attempt to find the name of the photographer. And today, the photos were printed, for the fourth and fifth time, respectively, in Sweden and Denmark.

A Guide to Chicago's Ongoing Teachers' Strike

John Cook · 09/12/12 03:41PM

That back-to-school chill is in the air, except in Chicago, where 26,000 public school teachers and support staff are on strike and more than 350,000 students are just fucking off all day instead of learning. Even though Chicago is a dull provincial city of little national import, everybody is talking about the strike because Rahm Emanuel is mayor and Obama used to live there. What's the story?