"I like to use hair over dental floss," said Wisconsin resident Kia Cambridge on last night's Extreme Cheapskates. "I know it sounds gross, but this just works. It's a great system." Yup. As systems go, it's up there with Dewey Decimal and that Of a Down.

"Suddenly I stopped producing breast milk, so now I collect breast milk from my friends," explained Apple Melecia on last night's TLC special Extreme Cheapskates: Guide To Love. Extreme Cheapskates is a show about people who do all manner of insane and/or disgusting things for the sake of saving some coins and delighting in others' disgust. For the cameras, Apple also proudly made her own baby wipes with a roll of paper towels and dish detergent (that she would reuse), shopped for lingerie in a thrift store, and asked a beautician to put used extensions on her head since they were just going to be thrown out anyway.

I haven't seen anything this disgusting on TLC since the bug-eating enthusiast ate a giant caterpillar that a non-enthusiast went on to describe as tasting like a bad clam. And I've seen a lot of disgusting shit on TLC—I'm an avid watcher of Toddlers & Tiaras.

On the first episode of TLC's latest good-natured freak show, Extreme Cheapskates, we were introduced to Kate Hashimoto, a woman so cheap that she thinks nothing of serving friends food that she picked out of the trash. The premiere's 30 minutes was devoted to Kate's incredibly odd ways, and its format was basically a litany of her lifestyle. Said Kate: