Tonight, Stephen Colbert opened the Report with talk of an imminent due date. No, not Tuesday's debt deadline, the one tomorrow night on Facebook for drivers of Nissan's electric car, the Leaf, to submit ideas for an official gesture to "wave" at fellow owners on the road. Which is lame and sad, of course, but nothing compared to the secondhand embarrassment you'll feel after making it to the end of Colbert's segment.

When nearly everyone thinks you're a con artist, it helps to have credible friends at your side. Paul Ceglia, the would be owner of Facebook, will have to do without such support; he's reportedly just plowed through his fourth law firm.

We all like to occasionally do things on the internet without our name being attached to it. Like giving rave reviews to young adult science fiction novels on Amazon, for instance. But Mark Zuckerberg's sister will have none of it.

Petty criminals in Washington, DC are reportedly using Facebook and Twitter to plan raids on local stores, breaking new ground in idiotic criminal tactics.

You never read tech news, do you? Good. Somehow, the story of the accidental early release of a Facebook iPad app everyone was expecting is threatening to turn into a week-long saga. Make it stop! This is the most boring shit ever.

We're not hip or cool enough to have been invited to the amazing social music service Spotify. But here's what Mark Zuckerberg listens to on the service: Jay-Z, Taylor Swift and electronic music.

A Facebook designer has uploaded new photos of Facebook's enormous world domination facility in Menlo Park, California. Boy, are we starting to get creeped out.

One reason for Google Plus' explosive growth is its seamless integration into the other Google services everyone already relies on. But this might be its biggest downfall, too: If you screw up on Google Plus, you risk all your precious Google stuff being deleted forever.

Larry Summers, the loudmouth former Treasury Secretary, knows from blowhards. So when he says Facebook losers Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss were some of the most arrogant "assholes" he met at Harvard, that's really saying something.

Google Plus is quickly becoming a hit among early adopters who want to pretend they're too good for Facebook. Now Google wants to go after the holy manna of social networking—celebs, and their wired fans.

When tech titans meet, sparks fly! Sparks from a blazing bonfire of social missteps. This weekend, Twitter co-founder Biz Stone told NPR the excruciating tale of the time he met Mark Zuckerberg.

Earlier this year, after the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami devastated much of Japan, various "patriots," ahem, claimed via Facebook and Twitter that the disaster was "karmic payback" for the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Apparently their work making America look terrible wasn't finished!

As CEO of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg forced everyone's hidden friend lists into public view. As a user of Google Plus, Mark Zuckerberg just decided to hide his own friends. Double standard, much?

Casey Anthony is reportedly changing her name and considering plastic surgery to disguise her appearance. Well, a bunch of idiot internet users have tracked her down: She's now living as a black man in a Philadelphia suburb!

Ashton Kutcher tried to play king of the cool kids at Allen & Co.'s Sun Valley schmoozefest, convening an afterparty of boy wonder internet moguls. Too bad he only got tech's D-list to show up.

Sure, you've heard of Facebook billionaires Mark Zuckerberg and Sean Parker. But how about multimillionaire Ezra Callahan? Or half billionaires Matt Cohler, Adam D'Angelo and Chris Hughes? WhoOwnsFacebook.com is ready to introduce you, and your libido, to the Facebook B-list.

Israel blocked around 200 pro-Palestinian activists from boarding European flights to the country, aided by Facebook. It's hard to pretend to be a tourist in the era of social networking.

You know those Palo Alto woods where Mark Zuckerberg takes prospective Facebook hires for sweet talking? Our colleagues at Gizmodo took pictures of the view and surrounding woodlands. They're almost as breathtaking as Zuckerberg's enormous, throbbing valuation.

The hiring practices of Silicon Valley tech companies are famously rigorous, but Facebook must be the only one to test physical strength. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg takes high-profile prospective hires for a hike behind the company's Palo Alto headquarters.

Facebook just introduced a powerful new way for you to avoid doing your work: video chat built by Skype. It should be no surprise this comes as Google Plus gets rave reviews for its own video chat feature, Hangouts. [Gizmodo]