Bow ties are so fetch, have you heard? Christina Binkley of the Wall Street Journal reports that everyone from David Beckham to the Jonas Brothers are wearing them.

Is AOL email now retro cool? One longtime AOL user sure hopes so!

It's Thursday—the day when the New York Times Style section constructs tenuous trend stories designed to infuriate us about largely illusory issues! Woo hoo! Today's trend: crazy parents turn their kids into health food zombies!

Jennifer 8. Lee of the New York Times spent 1,523 words debating whether her paper used the very first emoticon in 1862 when it printed the text of an Abraham Lincoln speech.

An airplane flies into two vertical objects: For many ordinary New Yorkers, it's a horrible, still-living memory. For Internet commenters, it's absolutely hilarious.

The star of the Times piece is Michael Buckley, a fast-talking and overbearingly gay celebrity commentator — think Ted Casablanca, if Ted Casablanca lived in Connecticut. Buckley says he makes $100,000 a year on YouTube ads. Google sells the ads and splits the revenue with Buckley, as it does with other video creators it has dubbed "partners."

Here's an updated list of things America's religious extremists are afraid of: gay marriage, in-vitro fertilization, The Golden Compass, stem-cell research, the earth revolving around the sun, and nanotechnology. Nanotechnology?

Concerned about the job prospects for the already-wealthy cads who made a pile in finance jobs? Sure, we all are. There's good news, though; corporate types who suddenly find themselves unemployed have all decided, en masse, to become personal trainers. These former office-bound A-type personalities are all lining up to sell their exercise services to, uh, you know, whoever may have some disposable income left.

Times trend queen Stephanie Rosenbloom totally blows up the spot on the hottest word out there right now for vaginas: Vajayjays. What makes Ms. Rosenbloom so sure the word has arrived? Well, after its use on "Grey's Anatomy" the word has "found its way into electronic dictionaries like Urban Dictionary, Word Spy and Merriam-Webster's Open Dictionary. It was uttered on the television series '30 Rock.'" Oprah says it! "It was used on the Web site of 'the Tyra Banks Show. Jimmy Kimmel said it in a monologue." Also, Gloria Steinem left "a reporter" a voicemail about it. So clearly, vajayjay has entered into the cultural lexicon. It's only a matter of time before obstetricians can be heard screaming, "We need a bilateral oophorectomy on this lady's vajayjay to remove the ovoom-vooms, STAT, or else we're gonna have to perform a conization on her cerveevee and her utay-tay might fall out!"

"Check out any art gallery, advertising agency or downtown bar where the cool kids hang" and you'll find neckties, claims David Colman in the Times today. It's true, we have noticed kids wearing ties a little more lately—maybe it has to do with that band "The White Strokes" or whatever they are called that the hip cats are listening to! Also we are apparently given to understand from the Times' photographic evidence that the neckties help you convince people to let you put your digits into their orifices.